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Original poster

How many kids do you have and would you have that number again if you could turn back time?

201 replies

Fishandchipsatthebeach · 05/09/2023 12:01

I’m not asking if you’d have your actual kids with their identities again. But would you have the same number again if you could start your family from scratch?

I have one and love having one. She’s only five though so my views could change

OP posts:
SallyWD · 05/09/2023 12:29

I have two and that's the right number for me. I wanted more than one but I do think I'd struggle with three. I find I worry about them so three would be yet another person to worry about, plus the extra work of course.
What I love about having two is that I can give them both lots of individual attention and have quality time with each. That's very important to me.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 05/09/2023 12:30

I would have liked one more but couldn't. Happy with 2 though!

lilyfire · 05/09/2023 12:30

3 and would have 3 again if could go back.

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TootenCarMoon · 05/09/2023 12:31

Have 3, if I could do it again I might go for 4 but I think I feel this way as one isn’t well and spends a lot of time not able to be living at home and the hole it leaves in my life is massive.

When they’re all here, 3 is probably enough!

LittleMonks11 · 05/09/2023 12:32

One - and if I could go back I would have tried for one more because my DD hates having no siblings. I feel really sad for her sometimes. But it is what it is.

CatMattress · 05/09/2023 12:33

Two and torn whether I would have any. There would be definite advantages to only having one, but if I was going to have any, it probably would still be two. If I had had a truly realistic view of how hard it was I wouldn't have ever started. I'd be a totally different person, though and not sure I'd have liked that version of myself much, however less tired and stressed she'd be

RoadLess · 05/09/2023 12:34

NeedMyDress · 05/09/2023 12:27

Have one and on the fence about trying for a second. Feel like I'm only considering it because it's "the norm" and I'm socially conditioned to it!

I keep TTC each month and hoping I've been unsuccessful- then I won't have any guilt for not trying but will be able to stick with one (I'm aware I'm mad).

Kindly, this is mad, which you know yourself, @NeedMyDress. Don’t have a child you aren’t sure you want. Take responsibility for your decision. Look at all the pps on this thread who are happy with one child and would do the same again — I’m another.

MumLass · 05/09/2023 12:36

I have 2 and I'm happy with 2 (in my current situation).
If I had married a different partner I might have liked 3 but their Dad is now my ExH and that's that. No more for me.

Ladyoftheknight · 05/09/2023 12:39

5, would do it again and will probably have more.

However, if I could only have one I'd be just as happy. Children are a blessing to me

Whattodonowadays · 05/09/2023 12:39

I have 4 and if it wasn’t for the big age gap and how old I am now then I would happily have had another!

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 05/09/2023 12:40

TheWayTheLightFalls · 05/09/2023 12:15

I have a singleton and then twins. It’s hard going and I am worn out. I think sticking with one would’ve been better for us.

Singleton followed by twins here too...although said singleton is heading off to Uni tomorrow and DTs at almost 16 and it's all much easier, in some ways, these days. So currently wouldn't change it...

At various points in the last I've thought different!

We had planned two, twins made that three...but if I'd had a crystal ball and know XH would travel quite so much for work/ that moving overseas when DTs were 3 did not result in the promised less travel: so just as hard but without a support network/ that we'd divorce and he'd permanently relocate at the other end of the country then I'd have stuck at one!

clotheshorsegym · 05/09/2023 12:42

I have one and am thankful every single day for not having had more ! I see my friends struggling financially and emotionally ( stress) with multiple children.

Saschka · 05/09/2023 12:43

I planned to have two, first at 31, second at 33-34. Due to infertility I ended up having one at 38, and couldn’t have any more. Ideally I’d have liked to stick with the original plan! DS would make a great brother.

toadasoda · 05/09/2023 12:44

Have 3, very happy but would have loved 4 especially if it was a little 'surprise' . Went through hell TTC so that changed my attitude and I would have seen any extra as a miracle and a blessing. I had twins on my 2nd pg so feel very lucky to have 3 rather than 2.

That said reading what you said about not their actual identities - truth is if I had more than 1 like DS1 I'd have stopped and possibly regretted a second as he was and still is incredily difficult. I still instinctively wanted a sibling for him but if he was my second I would never have considered more. If my DD was my first I would have loved parenthood so much, probably had 4 or 5 and most likely been a very different person myself. It's all a game of pot luck.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 05/09/2023 12:44

DH and I have five - never really planned to have a big family. It was a mixture of carelessness and passion LOL! But I loved being pregnant and having babies who then grew into adorable toddlers and interesting children/teens. Many times I was exhausted and worried that I wasn't giving them the attention that they deserved but they have all grown into well adjusted adults, all married and starting their own families. I would do it all again.

DiaNaranja · 05/09/2023 12:44

We have two. DH would like a third, but I think we've left it too long to contemplate going back to the baby stage, and financially I think it would stretch us. I'm happy with two, but sad they're growing up so fast. I know once they're older we will have enough to be able to help them out much easier (cars, uni, houses etc) with just the two, so I think for our situation two is best. We each pay £100 into their accounts every month, so they've already got a nice chunk of money, definitely would struggle to do that for a third, so ultimately it would mean they'd all get less. I know money isn't everything, but it is a big factor for us in doing what's right for ours.

oldwhyno · 05/09/2023 12:45

3 and would have 3 again, as it's an optimal number for many reasons.

Had I started a tad earlier and had more money, maybe I'd have liked a late hatch fourth. Kids are awesome, little ones especially.

Yetmorewashing · 05/09/2023 12:45

I have 4 in 4 years love them to pieces but from a financial point of view I would have 2. Seems like the world is geared towards a family of 4 although I could be wrong

purplebluediscorain · 05/09/2023 12:46

I’m 28, I have one who is almost 2. I’m giving myself till I’m 32 to answer if I’m one and done but for now I feel I’m not but I want my child to be a little older.

Mayhemmumma · 05/09/2023 12:46

2 and happy with 2. Really wanted 3rd but it didn't happen and now I'm grateful for that. They are 10 and 12 and the light of my life.

PartnersInCrime · 05/09/2023 12:47

With the way the world is going, I'd have none - a big worry with what sort of a world we are leaving them to cope with.

VeridicalVagabond · 05/09/2023 12:47

One, she's 15 and has been a very easy child, I would absolutely still just have one. Life's been lovely just the three of us.

greyhairnomore · 05/09/2023 12:48

Have 1 , would have 0.

BerriesPineCones · 05/09/2023 12:49
  1. Yes.
16 and 19
MyGardensAMess · 05/09/2023 12:49

I have five and of course I can only say I'd have that number again. Otherwise I would have to not have one or more of them and that's impossible to consider, given I know them.