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Original poster

Funniest lines from a sitcom

463 replies

Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 14:44

Could do with a laugh at the moment, so I'm wondering what are people's favourite funny lines from a sitcom or film? Mine is from Victoria Wood's Dinnerladies : "Tony Blair. Stick two poems up in a bus shelter and call it a university! ". Cracks me up every time

OP posts:
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9
phewgal · 04/09/2023 15:22

'She's a fart in a frock and I want her wafted out' - Peter Mannion, The Thick of It

toadasoda · 04/09/2023 15:24

Another Gavin and Stacey one - when Pete recites Coldplays 'Fix you' for renewing his vows to Dawn. He keeps saying it as the song is sung: lights will gui-i-ide you home.... its just so stupid and funny. Then Dawn recites the lyrics to Michael Jackson's 'Ben'.

Gingernaut · 04/09/2023 15:39

sailorJulia · 04/09/2023 08:12

Absolutely Fabulous

Jennifer Saunders 'inside me is a thin person just trying to get out'

June Whitfield 'Just the one dear?'

I was going to say that one

AbFab upended June Whitfield's middle class, cosy, mum stereotype, but that was the first hint that she wasn't all that she first appeared to be

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TV
clary · 04/09/2023 16:02

So so many on G&S.
You’re eating ham, Pam! They’re taking the mick, Mick. It was egg and cress, Ness.

Why’s he wearing a dress? I don’t know. [Ness’s deadpan Welsh accent makes it funnier]

I love the rap Smithy and Rudi have practised and do on the phone to Gavin.

Bryn with his smorgasbord of sandwiches

I’m so bored. I’m a border collie. He’s Carol Borderman.

Crikeyalmighty · 04/09/2023 16:37

@phewgal that's one of my favourites- so many brilliant ones from Malcolm!!

Jackydaytona · 04/09/2023 16:42

Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 18:01

Frasier had some fantastic lines. The one about outfitting the dog with a megaphone when he was wearing a cone ..😂

I think one of my Frasier faves is when maris' Japanese Gardender dies in her ornamental maze...
Niles: the paramedics never stood a chance
🤣🤣🤣

Crikeyalmighty · 04/09/2023 16:48

@Deadringer I wanted to quote something from one foot in the grave and then I realised it's mainly situations/scenes that are bloody hilarious rather than one liners as such -

Although I do rather like the following when Margaret is unwell

Margaret says - 'why don't you rest for a couple of weeks? Let me look after you for a change." Take it easy! I'd get more peace of mind being nursed by the Evil Dead!

ReginaPerrin · 04/09/2023 17:05

NegativNancy · 03/09/2023 18:08

Jamie: [pretending to interview Ben Swain] Immigration is in disarray. Now, what are you going to do about it?
Ben: Well, first of all I would have to take issue with your contention that immigration is in disarray...
Jamie: Oh, answer the question, you fat fuck!

You kind of had to have seen it to appreciate it...

From the same show, ‘maybe Davina McCall is the new pope, maybe you can download rice’.

Pretty much every line of Malcolm Tucker’s is a winner.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 04/09/2023 17:07

I wanted to quote something from one foot in the grave and then I realised it's mainly situations/scenes that are bloody hilarious rather than one liners as such -

I love the one where Victor is going through the post that's just arrived and seeing who the letters are addressed to: "Victor Meldrew, Margaret Meldrew... and The Man In The Shed!" Grin

Crikeyalmighty · 04/09/2023 17:24

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper Me too!!!

ASoapImpressionOfHisWifeWhichHeAte · 04/09/2023 17:34

Deadringer · 04/09/2023 09:55

Oh One foot in the grave was full of hilarious scenes. Victor meldrew had a ventriloquist dummy and a workman or someone at his house, can't temember who, thought that Victor believed it was real, especially when he rushed into the bathroom with it, saying something like, ' i need to get him to the loo quickly, hes bursting.' (Dummy was coming apart at the seams).

Just rewatched all of these- it was Pippa!

Original poster
Kingsleadhat · 04/09/2023 18:18

Menopants · 04/09/2023 17:26

Devoted sister, beloved cunt…

I'd forgotten about this. Classic

OP posts:
Supergirl1958 · 04/09/2023 18:29

Oh and crilly! If you ever try to bullshit me like that again, I will rip off your arms!!! Father Ted Bishop Brennan

Supergirl1958 · 04/09/2023 18:31

The Christmas episode of Dinnerladies is good too.

Flying willies and dolly says “they are winged members!”

Coffeetree · 04/09/2023 18:34

Joey: "I found my hand twin!"

Phoebe: "You're gonna be rich!"

rubrikscube · 04/09/2023 18:34

Another Frasier one, I’m afraid (there are so many)

Ros is commenting on Frasier and Niles going to the school prom together-
Frasier: Niles and I did not go to the prom together! Our dates were
sick and we went stag!
Niles: In retrospect, yes, we should have canceled the horse-drawn
carriage, but hindsight is 20/20.

Coffeetree · 04/09/2023 18:38

Honestly the whole ongoing bit about the Hand Twin in friends. "This hand is my hand, oh wait that's your hand."

Princessbananahamock · 04/09/2023 18:39

itsgettingweird · 03/09/2023 19:15

Favourite line is OFAH.

Grandad is listening a chandelier from above a room in the loft.

Once loosened he says "are you ready"

They are and Delboy and Rodney are waiting up ladders with a large sheet to catch it.

It crashes to the floor.

Grandad comes down. Conversation ensues about the chandeliers and the one crashed to the floor and grandad says

"Well I wish you would have said something - I was working on this one" and points to the smashed chandelier.

You have to watch it. It's how the line is delivered alongside the timing!

brace yourself Rodney

TheTruthWillSetYouFreeMaybe · 04/09/2023 18:59

Dinner ladies - ‘just gives us a teabag love and I’ll suck it’.
Only Fools when they are toasting Cassie’pregnancy. ‘All the best to Cassandra and Rodney ‘. And Trigger says ‘Dave’
Agree with ealier poster, the scene fromYes Prime Minister where they are discussing demographics of newspaper buyers - cracks me up !
Dinnerladies ‘are you calling me a Thrush thruster ?

TheTruthWillSetYouFreeMaybe · 04/09/2023 19:01

The Bit in Red Dwarf when they are discussing going to red alert and Kryton says ‘are you sure sir, it will mean changing the bulb’

Annemaria · 04/09/2023 19:03

When Victoria Wood is playing an attendant in a Turkish Baths: “Do you see that woman’s varicose veins? Well they’re the exact colour of our( can’t remember name) ‘s new shower curtain.”

saffy2 · 04/09/2023 19:08

Only fools and horses:
its like talking to a big mac
Sweetheart, can’t you turn the j Edgar off? Can’t you see I’m on the mobile blower!

friends:
I’m not good at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
They don’t know that we know they know.

i love big bang theory but not any specific lines just love it all 😂

MercyChant66 · 04/09/2023 19:12

I agree, pretty much every line in Frasier and Two Doors Down is pure joy - sadly the Two Doors Down creator Simon Carlyle died last month - brilliant young writer...

One of my all time favourites is from Phoenix Nights - The Pub Quiz episode where Kenny and team got Qu. 25 wrong. The correct answer was 'The Shroud of Turin' - they wrote 'Lisa Stansfield'...

Cuppateaanabicci · 04/09/2023 19:14

Yes yes yes! 😂