Funniest lines from a sitcom

[Kingsleadhat]

Could do with a laugh at the moment, so I'm wondering what are people's favourite funny lines from a sitcom or film? Mine is from Victoria Wood's Dinnerladies : "Tony Blair. Stick two poems up in a bus shelter and call it a university! ". Cracks me up every time

Brilliant thread!

Love Frasier, so clever. One of my favourite lines from Niles when Frederick’s Christmas present goes missing - ‘The Cranes from Maine have your living brain’ 😂

This scene had me howling 😆

Currently watching young sheldon and George just came out with:

Shes having our grandbaby you dumb son of a bitch.

I laughed for about 10 mins

Not individual lines, but so much of MASH (almost everything Winchester said, and the whole Movie Tonight episode from series 5)

Pretty much all of Black Books, Hamish MacBeth, Sleepers (1991), Oliver's Travels, series 3 of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet and In The Red.

chandler to Monica, talking about a co worker: “she’s just below me.”

monice: “she what now??”

the rudest joke in friends and makes me laugh every time

I will never forget Victoria Woods stand up routine during which she said that fruit tea tasted like hot water from a cup that had once been used for Ribena.

"you are, are you not, Maurice Moss?"
"I am not" ! Hilarious

Absolutely Fabulous

Jennifer Saunders 'inside me is a thin person just trying to get out'

June Whitfield 'Just the one dear?'

I hate schoolchildren, they're volatile and stupid and they haven't got the vote. Might as well be talking to fucking geese.

• Peter Mannion, The Thick of It

And the way Chandler jumps from behind the door shouting 'I knew it' 😂😂

Followed by Chandler coming from behind the door shouting "I KNEW IT!!"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh One foot in the grave was full of hilarious scenes. Victor meldrew had a ventriloquist dummy and a workman or someone at his house, can't temember who, thought that Victor believed it was real, especially when he rushed into the bathroom with it, saying something like, ' i need to get him to the loo quickly, hes bursting.' (Dummy was coming apart at the seams).

When Basil Fawlty tells Manuel there's too much butter "on those trays" and Manuel replies "No. No, no, senor. Not... not "on... those... trays... Uno, dos, tres". 😂

Or manuel "I know nothing about the horse"

I still laugh when I remember his wish to be cremated and his ashes thrown in Piers Morgan's eyes.

He always made me laugh out loud - brilliant comic timing.

Father Ted is still hilarious.

"Don't call me Len, you little prick, I'm a bishop!"
"Oh right. Well done."

"Turn off that television. Chewing gum for the eyes."
"Ah, no thanks, Ted."

"What was John Paul II's name before he became pope?"
"...Jim?"

Scrubs is also endlessly quotable. DH eats some weird concoctions of his own creation and whenever he offers me some, I quote Dr Cox: "No thanks, I've already had diarrhoea today".

The Office US:

Accidentally calling Phyllis “Phallus“

Can she fit in a row boat? Would a row boat support her?

Did you see Saw?
Of course. Mose and I see saw all the time!

Gavin and Stacey:

Smithy: I’ve been thinking about suicide. How many paracetamol would it take to finish me off?
Gavin: You? You’d need hundreds!
Smithy: Well I can’t afford that can I? Not if I want a holiday this year.

Alan partridge attempting to retain the anonymity of “a gay” by using only his Christian name:

welcome, Domingo, from Little Oakley

In Friends when their car breaks down.
Chandler: "Handle's my middle name. Actually its the middle part of my first name."

Always makes me laugh!

Yes!! I was only thinking of the same scene and just about to post it. Every Doris scene is brill. She is very open minded and discreet 😁

Mention of Sean Lock reminds me of 15 Storey's High with Benedict Wong playing Errol his sweet but naive flatmate. On the phone to his mum in Liverpool:

"Mum. It's Me (pause) ....Errol... (pause) ...the Chinese one."

And Benedict Wong was also Prime in the Countdown episode of IT Crowd:
"The first rule of Street Countdown... Is that you really must try and tell as many people as possible about it. It's a rather fun game and the more people you tell about it the better."

@tenbob we use this quote a lot too!

'If I need your opinion I'll give you the special signal, which is me being sectioned under the mental health act'. - Malcolm Tucker, The Thick of It