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Original poster

Never again would I date a man who.....

159 replies

Strawberryfieldsforeverrr · 02/09/2023 21:48

Drinks. For me I've wasted too many years with someone whose desire to drink trumps any desire he has to make me happy.

What would you run a mile from in your next relationship?

OP posts:
WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 02/09/2023 23:05

Mine is the opposite to the OP. I would never date a man who DOESN'T drink. After spending a bit of a chunk of time (a year) with a man who doesn't drink alcohol, I would never date a teetotaller again.....

Clock watching while we're at the pub coz he's bored and 'tired' at 8.45pm and wants to go home, coz he's fed up of the 'tipsy' people...., not wanting to go to parties (as everyone is drinking booze!) judging me and anyone else for the amount we drink. (I don't drink a lot and never have - but 3 bottles of wine a month was bordering on alcoholism to him...) , And parping on about the 'evils' of drink to me and telling me I would lose weight if I didn't drink alcohol, and would be much 'healthier.' 🙄

As I said, he always wanted to leave the pub or party early (like 8.45pm!) but I refused to leave, and he wouldn't leave without me, so he sat there with a face like a slapped arse, nursing a glass of mineral water, and sitting with his arms folded. I was glad to bin him (This was many years ago before DH!)

Also, I would never ever date a man who can't drive again. Expecting to be ferried about like Royalty, me always having to be the designated driver, hanging around for ages waiting for him when he was late etc... A man who cannot drive is a no-no. Undateable IMO.

ALSO, a man who has no friends is hard work, as he depends on you for everything. All his emotional needs, socialising, moaning and gossiping... YOU are the sounding board and shoulder to cry on for everything!

AND, a man who is tight, and mean with money. Just no. (Always crap in bed too when they are mean with money!)

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 02/09/2023 23:10

Drinks, or smokes.

Greenfishy · 02/09/2023 23:13

Can’t manage his money

SistersNotCisters · 02/09/2023 23:21

whirlyhead · 02/09/2023 22:05

Doesn’t read books. How on earth can you go through life not reading books?? I cannot get my head around this.

My husband hasn't read a single book since he left school other than toddler ones to the kids.
He recently found a copy of a primary school library book he'd forgotten to hand back well over 35 years ago. It had 77 pages of very large font and plenty of illustrations. It took me about 4 or 5 minutes to read at most. I joked that he should read it for old times sake. He spent 10 minutes with it and gave up.

He can absolutely read. He's just far too lazy too.

I found it extremely off-putting and we're happily married even after 20 years together but I just don't think about his refusal to read. If I ignore it, it doesn't bother me.

BananaSlug · 02/09/2023 23:22

I also wouldn’t date a man that doesn’t drink at all literally a teetotal, I was jumped on on another group for saying that, people get very offended!

ChocAuVin · 02/09/2023 23:24

LindaCrochet · 02/09/2023 22:08

A man.

Came here to write this Grin

SnapOutOfIt1 · 02/09/2023 23:26

Pretends he's hurting and vulnerable only to be a complete head fuck and break my heart... that's all men isn't it?! Hmm

Macaroni46 · 02/09/2023 23:27
  • who refers to women as The Mrs
  • is dull
  • is skinny
Deathbyfluffy · 02/09/2023 23:27

I’m a man, but echo a lot of the same points.

  • They need to drive, being a taxi for ex girlfriend was tedious
  • Poor personal hygiene, also a huge issue
  • Thinks something as small as doesn’t read / doesn’t like eggs (?!) is actually in some way significant
Peanutbutter11 · 02/09/2023 23:28

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

Gabiabbi · 02/09/2023 23:30

  • eats noisily

  • votes tory

  • is serving, or has ever served in the army

  • is a mummy's boy

  • takes drugs

  • doesn't put his children first

I could go on! However I've been blissfully single for 5 years by choice and have no plans to change that anytime soon 😆

SistersNotCisters · 02/09/2023 23:31

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps I sort of agree with you. I'm not a big drinker at all but once in a blue moon I would like to enjoy a few drinks with my husband but he's "one small cider then stick the kettle on" type and I'm left feeling like an alcoholic because I fancy a couple of gins. I drink maybe 6 times a year? Usually weddings or Christmas Day.

But, that said, I'd rather a non-drinker than a man who drinks too much. My dad was an abusive drinker and my stepdad no better.

I couldn't date a football fan or player and these days, weed or tobacco smokers are a big turn off too. I also wouldn't date someone with children.

Sayinglessanddoingmore2023 · 02/09/2023 23:32

I really needed this thread! 😄

Gabiabbi · 02/09/2023 23:32

Deathbyfluffy · 02/09/2023 23:27

I’m a man, but echo a lot of the same points.

  • They need to drive, being a taxi for ex girlfriend was tedious
  • Poor personal hygiene, also a huge issue
  • Thinks something as small as doesn’t read / doesn’t like eggs (?!) is actually in some way significant

Oh, add "passive aggressively dismissing the POVs of others" to my list 😅

Whattodo112222 · 02/09/2023 23:32

CantThinkOfANewUsernameAgain · 02/09/2023 21:52

Is greedy!

My ex was so fucking greedy with food. If ordered kebab he'd order TWO large mixed. 2 large portions chip's and eat about 6 slices bread with it

Roast had like 12 potatoes, half loaf bread, 8 Yorkshires. Half a chicken and loads stuffing (no veg)

Everything was eaten with bread and butter loads of it.

Was vile

That's really quite something..

foxlover47 · 02/09/2023 23:36

Thinks that being shut off is perfectly ok and to dip in and out of the relationship depending on his current mood swing

Calls me baby ... ewww

AncientBallerina · 02/09/2023 23:38

…has no real interest in discussion or other people’s views i.e. thinks when someone raised a topic this is his opportunity to motormouth/ mainsplain the topic. No power of reflection Just recitation of facts on the subject. Is passive. Prioritises his needs over everyone else’s. Performs. Renacts conversations(dull ones). Has very poor parenting models.

AllSewnUp · 02/09/2023 23:39

Watches so much porn he has death grip (had 4 of those, and used to be all for not having sex with a man before becoming exclusive. No way would i be exclusive before having a test ride first now! Sorry (I'm not sorry), but if things don't work down there, regardless of the reason, it's a hell no from me. I'm in my 40's not my 90's)

Smokes weed (ex husband did this on the daily and at best he was a bore, at worst he was aggressive and violent)

Doesn't find value in the simple pleasures in life... A nice walk, a change of scene every now and then even if just a coffee out somewhere, that sort of thing. Last fella would literally just want to come over and watch tv - that's it!

Hates his job and does nothing about it - the eternal bad moods leak into the relationship... It's poison.

Doesn't know what a woman is (please do not get me started on this one 🙄)

Beenhereforever1978 · 02/09/2023 23:40

OuldWitch · 02/09/2023 22:09

You had me at never again would I date a man!
Not worth it.

Yup, this!

Weird things they are.

Blossomandbee · 02/09/2023 23:41

Lies
Has debt
Takes no responsibility for their own mistakes

Iwannadancewithsomebody88 · 02/09/2023 23:45

puts his aftershave in alphabetical order and thinks I'm strange for only wearing 2 perfumes!

Beenhereforever1978 · 02/09/2023 23:46

Deathbyfluffy · 02/09/2023 23:27

I’m a man, but echo a lot of the same points.

  • They need to drive, being a taxi for ex girlfriend was tedious
  • Poor personal hygiene, also a huge issue
  • Thinks something as small as doesn’t read / doesn’t like eggs (?!) is actually in some way significant

Thank fuck a man has arrived to tell us how to think.

Not reading isn't a "small" thing, if reading is how you understand the World and learn other perspectives, facts, history, culture, languages, maths...I mean I could go on but most educational establishments use books for a reason.

MintJulia · 02/09/2023 23:48

Gets drunk frequently
Is obsessed with money
Is a food snob

nofuturewithout · 02/09/2023 23:48

Is selfish

Changeychang · 02/09/2023 23:50

Has any form of addiction, including but not limited to:

  • gaming
  • drugs/alcohol
  • paraphilias