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Original poster

Disgusting rhymes you sang in the school play ground or yard (primary or secondary)

335 replies

UnctuousUnicorns · 02/09/2023 20:12

We sang (in primary (mid 70s to early 80s):

Yellow belly custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye.
Slap it on a butty,
Nice and thick,
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

Utterly minging, I know. 🤮 We were such foul wee buggers. 😅

Were there any other horrors doing the rounds at your school(s)? No mean/nasty stuff please. 🙂

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 02/09/2023 21:22

Gro · 02/09/2023 21:10

From PP the when Suzy was song starts with when Suzy was a baby and she gets older each verse. It was a clapping game.

I had totally forgotten clapping games until now!

We did this

We used to sing this when we were in infants
We had joy we had fun
Flicking bogeys at the sun
But the sun was too hot
And the bogeys turned to snot

cariadlet · 02/09/2023 21:23

A few variations on the Hitler one.

Ours was :

Hitler, has only got one ball,
The other, is in the Albert Hall.
His mother,
The dirty bugger,
Cut it off when he was small

Infant school, Midlands, 1970s

Bemyclementine · 02/09/2023 21:24

If you go diwn to the woods today, you're in for a big surprise, cos uncle Bob is sucking his knob, mum and dad are having it off, if you go down to the woods today, you'll seeeee them!

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General education
IMustDoMoreExercise · 02/09/2023 21:25

FatCatatPaddingtonStation · 02/09/2023 20:28

Daisy daisy, give me your answer do,
I’m half crazy, my balls are going blue.
I can’t afford a condom.
A plastic bag will do,
You’ll look sweet, under the sheet
with me on top of you.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he did it again cos he was gay (🫢 so outrageous now)

My own man’s a dustman,
he wears a dustman hat.
He took me round the corner
to watch a football match.
Fatty passed to Skinny.
Skinny passed it back.
Fatty did a whopping fart and knocked the goalie flat.

Our version started

Daisy Daisy give me a tit to chew

LylaLee · 02/09/2023 21:26

intergalacticplanetary · 02/09/2023 21:10

When you're playing in the attic and it comes out all dramatic ...

Show quote history

You're made me scare the neighbour's cat, from laughing.

It's a number two, It's an avalanche of poo...

TicTacNicNak · 02/09/2023 21:27

8misskitty8 · 02/09/2023 21:17

Late 80’s

We used to sing on the school bus trips :-

I wet my hole, wet my hole, went my holidays.
To see the cunt, to see the cunt, to see the country.
Fuck Q, fuck Q, for curiosity,
I wet my hole, I wet my hole, I went my holiday.

Also :-

Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert hall.
His mother, the dirty bugger, for she has but no balls at all.

We sung

Hitler has only got one ball
Goering had two but very small
Himmler, has something sim'lar
But poor old Goebbels had no balls at all.

WhootDaFook · 02/09/2023 21:27

Old mother Riley she got drunk
fell in the fire and burnt her bonnet
now she’s got no hair upon it
she has to wear a wig

ToastyCrumpets · 02/09/2023 21:28

The Hitler one was presumably passed on from grandparents / parents as that’s originally a WW2 soldiers’ song.

AlphaAlpha · 02/09/2023 21:28

Ip, dip, dog shit, fucking bastard, silly got, you are not it.

Couple of other mentioned have stirred some memories!

Daisychainsandglitter · 02/09/2023 21:29

Beans beans are good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart. The more you fart the better you feel so eat beans with every meal

JohnNolan · 02/09/2023 21:29

My name is Diana Doors I'm a movie star
With the cute cute knickers & a see through bra
I've got the hips (woo), the lips (woo) & the wobbly tits.....

And then another verse i can't quite remember.

This was done in the school playground in years 4 - 6 & there was a dance aswell. Looking back I can't believe the teachers & lunch staff let us sing this & do the dance moves too!! They banned British bulldog as too many kids got hurt (several broken bones) but this was allowed!!!

Daisychainsandglitter · 02/09/2023 21:30

Ip dip dog shit bloody fucking hell you're not it.

NeedToKnow101 · 02/09/2023 21:30

illiterato · 02/09/2023 20:38

When Suzy was a teenager
A teenager Suzy was
she said ooh ah I’ve lost my bra
i left my knickers in my boyfriend’s car

i was 5! No idea what it meant.

^^ I was gonna say this one. It's part of a clapping song. That's the only bit I remember though too.

NumberFortyNorhamGardens · 02/09/2023 21:30

A slightly more historically embellished version of the Hitler one:

Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is in the Albert Hall,
Himmler has something similar
And Goebbels has no balls at all.

Edit to add someone got there before me . 🤣

TiredMotherMum · 02/09/2023 21:32

Build a bonfire, build a bonfire,
Put the teachers on the top,
Put the prefects around the middle
And burn the fucking lot!

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 02/09/2023 21:33

The apple and pear one we sang was a bit longer:

My boyfriend gave me an apple,
My boyfriend gave me a pear,
My boyfriend gave me a kiss on the lips,
Then threw me down the stairs.
I gave him back his apple,
I gave him back his pear,
I gave him back his kiss on the lips,
Then pushed him down the stairs.
I kicked him over London,
I kicked him over France,
I kicked him over the USA
He lost his underpants!

xxSxxxxxxx · 02/09/2023 21:33

Hitler only had one ball
The other was on the kitchen wall
His mother chopped it off when he was small

ToussaintTheChef · 02/09/2023 21:34

carparkcow · 02/09/2023 20:34

'We are the (place name) girls
We wear our hair in curls
We wear our dungarees up to our dirty knees
You know the boy next door
He had me on the floor
We did it 20 times and then he asked for more
My mummy was surprised
To see my belly rise
My daddy jumped for joy
It was a baby boy
My mummy was so sad
She didn't want a lad
She wanted 7 girls
To wear their hair in curls
To wear their dungarees up to their dirty knees
We are the (place name) girls'

I think we were about 11 when we were singing it

😳😳😳😳😳

Similar.

we are the teenage girls
we wear our hair in curls
we wear dungarees up to our sexy knees

i met a boy one day
he gave me 50p
to go behind the sheds and have it off with me

my mama was surprised
to see my belly rise
my daddy jumped for joy
it was a baby boy

his name was martin
he kept on fartin’
he stuck a hose up his nose
and started laughing

Confused
GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 02/09/2023 21:34

Hitler, has only got one ball,
The other, is in the Albert Hall.
His mother, the silly bugger,
Chopped it off when he was small!

LylaLee · 02/09/2023 21:34

Daisychainsandglitter · 02/09/2023 21:29

Beans beans are good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart. The more you fart the better you feel so eat beans with every meal

Also
Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot, the more you toot, the better you feel, so let's have beans for every meal!

LylaLee · 02/09/2023 21:34

Daisychainsandglitter · 02/09/2023 21:29

Beans beans are good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart. The more you fart the better you feel so eat beans with every meal

Also
Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot, the more you toot, the better you feel, so let's have beans for every meal!

intergalacticplanetary · 02/09/2023 21:35

@LylaLee memory unlocked 🤣 Haven't thought of that song for years. Bet there are so many variations on verses 😂

livinglifetothefull · 02/09/2023 21:35

Holly holly tits in a trolley balls in a biscuit tin theres a man in the grass with is finger up his arse playing with his ding a ling ling.

Skinny and fart in the bath fart farted and skinny laugh skinny and fart in the bed fart farted and skinny was dead.

Your mum sat on a thistle that made her fanny whistle .

Open up get inside lay back enjoy the ride . (It was about a car )

NeedToKnow101 · 02/09/2023 21:37

Daisychainsandglitter · 02/09/2023 21:29

Beans beans are good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart. The more you fart the better you feel so eat beans with every meal

Beans beans musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot

...

The more you fart
The more you eat
The more you sit on the toilet seat

turquoisediamond · 02/09/2023 21:37

Rhythm is a dancer
Smoking gives you cancer
Needles give you HIV
dogs can give you rabies
Fucking gives you babies
That's why I'm on extacy...

In primary school 😳

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