Disgusting rhymes you sang in the school play ground or yard (primary or secondary)

[UnctuousUnicorns]

We sang (in primary (mid 70s to early 80s):

Yellow belly custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye.
Slap it on a butty,
Nice and thick,
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

Utterly minging, I know. 🤮 We were such foul wee buggers. 😅

Were there any other horrors doing the rounds at your school(s)? No mean/nasty stuff please. 🙂

That's the version we sang. 1970s, infant school.

Ha, same.

My 5 year old has starting saying “Ip dip do..” to make choices and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from going “Ip dip dog shit, fucking bastard, dirty git..”

This is a good thread. Great memories, what a time we lived ! Lol

We also sang 'we are the sexy girls, we wear our hair in curls' but the difference was

'He gave me 50p, to go behind the tree
He counted one to three
And stuck it into me
He counted one to ten
And pulled it out again'

And the Elvis song and Pepsi cola brings back some shattered memories.

I said to my teen 'Ip shit' and he replied Sky Blue, DH said 'dog shit'

My boyfriend gave me an apple
My boyfriend gave me a pear
My boyfriend gave me a kiss on the lips and he threw me down the stair

I gave him back his apple
I gave him back his pear
I gave him back his kids on the lips
And I threw him down the stairs

Lovely song to sing age 5 🤦🏼‍♀️

We sang

Georgie Best, superstar
Wears frilly knickers and he wears a bra.

To my knowledge, George Best did neither of those things

When you're playing in the attic and it comes out all dramatic ...

From PP the when Suzy was song starts with when Suzy was a baby and she gets older each verse. It was a clapping game.

I had totally forgotten clapping games until now!

Had totally forgotten that one! I think we sang it in juniors.

Also where on earth did all these rhymes come from!?

My friend Billy had a 10 ft Willy and he showed it to the girl next door. She thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake and now it’s only 4ft 4

Amazing thread! I remember the Elvis one too. And my friend Billy. Plus variations on the English country garden and diarrhoea. Would be interesting to know where all the different versions come from around the country!

Also, to the theme tune of Rainbow-

Up above the streets and houses
Bungle flying high
Opens up his hairy legs and <fart noise> in Geoffrey"s eye.

@TabithaTiger
I'd forgotten this one, I remember singing it in primary school.

What do you do when you need a runny poo
In an English country garden?
Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants
In an English country garden.
Grab a big leaf and wipe your underneath
In an English country garden.

We are the golden girls
We wear our hair in curls
We wear our dungarees to show our sexy knees.
You know the boy next door
He got me on the floor
He gave meHugs and kisses and he asked for me.
He said he'd marry me
He'd run away with me
He gave me 50p to go behind the tree.
My mother was surprised
To see my belly rise
My daddy jumped for joy it was a baby boy.

Silent night
Holy night
All iscalm
All is bright
Round the virgin perverts they sat
Dicks in their hands and cum in their hats

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
His mother, the dirty bugger
Cut it off with a saw
She threw it, at an apple tree
It missed and landed in the sea
Then the fishes got out their dishes
And had scallops and bollocks for tea

This is fascinating. Has anyone else read "The Lore and Language of Schoolchildren"? Children's rhymes and games are a trove of history, many of the original meanings of the rhymes long forgotten.
https://www.opiearchive.org/

Whenever you see a hearse go by remember you're gonna die, oo ee, oo ee, remember you're gonna die.
They put you in a big black box and seal you in with nuts and bolts..

Last verse is the worms go in the worms go out, the worms go wriggling all about.
Primary school. Nice

Late 80’s

We used to sing on the school bus trips :-

I wet my hole, wet my hole, went my holidays.
To see the cunt, to see the cunt, to see the country.
Fuck Q, fuck Q, for curiosity,
I wet my hole, I wet my hole, I went my holiday.

Also :-

Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert hall.
His mother, the dirty bugger, for she has but no balls at all.

Yes, we used to sing that

This was a Scottish one I think!

Aunty Mary had a canary
Up the leg of her drawers
She pulled a string, her bra went ping
And down came Santa Claus

We also had a different extra verse for English Country Garden 🌱:
What do you do when you’ve finished with the loo
In an English country garden
Pick up a leaf and wipe your underneath
In an English country garden 🎶

Did anyone else do levitation?
This is the art of levitation
She looks pale etc.

Ra, ra, Cantona
Kiss my knickers
Kiss my bra

We were in infant school

Skipping/clapping song:

What's the time? Half past nine,
Hang your knickers on the line.
When they're done, bring them in,
Put them in the biscuit tin.
Eat the biscuits, eat the cake,
Eat your knickers by mistake

😁😁

We had a slightly different version. Junior school, late 70s, English Midlands

Some say he worked in the (?)
Some say he worked in the pit,
But I know what my old man worked in,
He worked in a big pile of...

Chorus:
Shine up your buttons with brasso,
It's only 3 ha'pence a tin,
You buy it or nick it from Woolies
And fill it right up to the brim.

Some say he died of the fever,
Some say he died of the fit
But I know what my old man died of,
He died of the smell of the...

Chorus

Some say he's buried in gravel,
Some say he's buried in grit,
But I know what my old man's buried in,
He's buried in a big pile of...

Chorus

Eny meany miney mo
Catch a n-word by its toe
If it squeals,let him go
End meany miney mo

I sang that using the real n-word-dd came home years later and started singing it

Thankfully by that time,it'd changed it to 'fish'

I was so relieved,I didn't point out that fish don't have toes

Oh,ah,Cantona
Wears his mother's dirty bra

Sang to elvis jailhouse rock

Went to a party in a County jail
Caught my knackers on a rusty nail
When I got home,got hell of a shock
Two dead balls and a paralysed cock
Let's rock!

Charlie had a budgie , a budgie a budgie.
Charlie had a budgie, a budgie, he had.
It flew in the morning and flew in the night and when it came back it was covered in shhhhiii…….. Charlie had a budgie.