Disgusting rhymes you sang in the school play ground or yard (primary or secondary)

[UnctuousUnicorns]

We sang (in primary (mid 70s to early 80s):

Yellow belly custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye.
Slap it on a butty,
Nice and thick,
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

Utterly minging, I know. 🤮 We were such foul wee buggers. 😅

Were there any other horrors doing the rounds at your school(s)? No mean/nasty stuff please. 🙂

When we arrived back at the end of a school trip we'd sing, "Thank you Mr Bus driver, bus driver, bus driver man. He drinks and he smokes and he tells dirty jokes. Thank you Mr Bus driver, bus driver, bus driver man." In primary school. While still on the bus, to actually thank the driver. Mind boggles.

There was a really horrible princess Diana one:

To the tune of 'we are catching fish again, doo dah, doodah'

'Guess who died with Di today, Dodi Dodi'

.....And auntie Flo is haveing a go with grandad!!

(You have to sing this… )

When you go down to the woods today you’re in for a big surprise 🐻

When mum and dad are having a shag
and uncle Frank is having a wank
and auntie flow is having a go on grandad

Okay so we were really disgusting 🤣🤣🤣

Assembly song, Primary school.
Tramp Tramp over the hill
Tramp Tramp listen to Bill
You can hear him coming Tramp Tramp
With his little wooden leg.

Another my Nan used to sing to me.
My mother said I never should play with gypsies in the wood.
Your hair won't curl your shoes won't shine you gypsey girl you won't be mine.

Just awful.

There was an old woman of 82, parley-voo
There was an old woman of 82, parley-voo
There was an old woman of 82, let a fart and off it blew
Inky-pinky parley-voo

And subsequent verses tracking the progress of the fart via a policeman and Bristol Rovers until it eventually killed Julius Caesar when he accidentally swallowed it.

Ours was worse.
”I’m Popeye the sailor man etc”
”I sits on me granny and tickles her fanny, I’m Popeye the Sailor man.”
Sung as young kids. We hadn’t a clue…….🤣

Age 6 (with actions)
I'm a little girl
Dressed in blue
These are all the actions I can do.
Salute to the captain
Curtsey to the Queen
Show my knickers to the football team!

I've just remembered..
Mary had a little lamb,
She thought it rather silly.
She chucked it up into the air ,
and caught it by it's
Willy was a watch dog,
sitting on the grass,
Along came a spider , and bit it on it's
Arse no questions, tell no lies,
I saw a China man doing up his
Flies are nasty, bees are worse,
This is the end of my little verse.

Georgie best. Superstar!

Chocolate’s made!
(any inside no 9 fans?)

It’s actually really interesting to read the slight differences in wording

She thought it was a snake, and chopped it with a rake - and now it's only 3foot 4

There's a rumble
There's a toot
Now it's filling up your boot
DIARRHOEA!!
Pfff Pfff!!
DIARRHOEA!!
Pfff Pfff!!

😂😂

Popeye the sailor man
He lived in a caravan
He lived with his granny
And tickled her fanny
Did popeye the sailor man

My dc sang
Eeny, meany miney mo
But the baby on the po
When it's done, wipe it's bum
With a piece of chewing gum
You are not it

This is number 1 and the stories just begun
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 3 and the love is growing true
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 3 and he's got her on his knee
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 4 and he's got her on the floor
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 5 and she opens her legs wide
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 6 the connection of the bits
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 7 and it feels like heaven
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 8 and the Drs at the gate
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 9 and there's nappies on the line
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me
This is number 10, let's do it all again
Singing do what Daddy did to Mummy make me

I think we were 8 or 9 when we used to sing this!

We did:

My name’s Coco, I’m a monkey like you
used to be on drugs, now I’m on glue
found some money, put it in a box
I’d rather have it off with Matt from Bros
oh yeah
Kellogg’s Coco Pops are so chocolatey, they even turn your spunk brown

The Bros reference obviously dating it there.

Georgie Best,
Superstar,
walks like a woman and he wears a bra

Chocolate's made

Here's Maggie Thatcher
Throw her up and catcher
Give her a round of applause (clap your hands a bit)
Woops squashedher (show the squiggle)

Yum yum chewing gum
Stick it up your brother's bum
When it's brown bring it down
Yum yum chewing gum

Whatever possessed me to share this with DS I'll never know !

We said chocolate's made

Rule Britannia three monkeys up a stick
One fell down and paralysed his
Dicky was a footballer he never scored a goal
Every time he kicked the ball it went in someone's
Old king Cole was a merry old soul and a merry old soul was he
Called for a light in the middle of the night
To go to the lavatory
The light shone on the lavatory door
The candle has a fit
Old king Cole fell down the hole
And swallowed a lump of .....

I climbed up a tree, and it trickled down my knee...

There was:
Bill and Mary went to the dairy
(doo-dee-doo-dee-doo)
Bill pulled out his big fat hairy
(doo-dee-doo-dee-doo)
Mary said, well, what a whopper
(doo-dee-doo-dee-doo)
Let's get down and do it proper
(doo-dee-doo-dee-doo)