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Original poster

DH has ruined the house

194 replies

Rabbitingonandon · 01/09/2023 09:03

He's tidied and cleared out the garage, so he can put an office in there. But we are left with a load of garage crap dumped in the house. I currently have suitcases at the bottom of the stairs, boxes and bags of stuff in the kitchen and on the sofa. The dining room table has water pistols and tennis rackets on it. I'm supposed to be wfh. I can only hope he plans to sort all this stuff but to where I don't know as there is literally no where for it to go

OP posts:
DefinitelyYouNotMe · 02/09/2023 08:36

Where did I say communication and working as a team alone = a perfect relationship?

ReleasetheCrackHen · 02/09/2023 08:56

DefinitelyYouNotMe · 02/09/2023 08:36

Where did I say communication and working as a team alone = a perfect relationship?

Have I misunderstood your post that I replied to? I haven’t had my coffee yet, so quite possible? What did I get wrong? Apologies but now I want to know what you did mean?

DH has ruined the house
ihadamarveloustime · 02/09/2023 09:01

ReleasetheCrackHen · 01/09/2023 23:07

So? Help him out this weekend. Do tip, charity, keep piles and then jointly decide where the keep stuff is going to go. Some can go back in garage in storage boxes or you look at maybe getting a small garden shed. DH can take charity and tip stuff to drop off.

Don’t most partners work together on things like this?

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Not without talking first.

Why does OP have to drop everything she already had plans to do, after working a full time week and doing her own chores/jobs/etc because her husband randomly decided to pile a bunch of shit up in the house and leave it there. Why is this OP's problem to throw in on and solve?

It's not, in case you were wondering.

ReleasetheCrackHen · 02/09/2023 09:16

ihadamarveloustime · 02/09/2023 09:01

Not without talking first.

Why does OP have to drop everything she already had plans to do, after working a full time week and doing her own chores/jobs/etc because her husband randomly decided to pile a bunch of shit up in the house and leave it there. Why is this OP's problem to throw in on and solve?

It's not, in case you were wondering.

Show quote history

Well it’s good you mention talking first. That is not as obvious to others as it is to you and I. The OP and her DH do not seem to talk to each other much. I don’t see how it makes it the OP’s problem to open a conversation with her DH and suggest the plan I outlined of working together as a team. The “you sort it or it going in the garage by lunch tomorrow” is the kind of unhelpful ultimatum that destroys relationships.

Conniption · 02/09/2023 18:50

If he wont move it at all, then Id move it all back in to one side of the garage

HulaChick · 02/09/2023 19:06

Just put it back in the garage.

TheFishWithFingers · 02/09/2023 19:08

Wait if you WFH and he's cleared out the garage to put in an 'office' can you work from there?

Bronguin · 02/09/2023 19:11

I'd dump it all back in the garage if it was me. Best of luck, OP

MysteryBelle · 02/09/2023 19:14

Like most of us you have married your organizational opposite. Some believe in organizing a small area at a time and tackling a big project with the least disruption and disarray. Others take everything out at once and make a giant mess!

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/09/2023 19:18

Oioicaptain · 01/09/2023 15:54

I would stack it between the wall and his side of the bed so that he can't get in and out properly. Then he will have to deal with it.

Yeah this.

I did it with ex with anything like this, including all the crap he left lying around the house so that the fairies could clean it up. Amazing how fast it works.

Warn with a "if this isnt sorted by the morning I will find a place for it".

Mumwithbaggage · 02/09/2023 20:02

OP, you must be married to my husband! In our garage we have a huge Honda CX500 motorbike with fairing that was unsuccessfully repaired when I was pregnant with dd2. She's 28 in November!! It came to our new house on a trailer in 1998 and has sat there ever since. He did (un)helpfully buy a large platform thing that goes up and down to service it on. He has an office - anything he leaves anywhere else I just chuck in there!

bluejumping · 02/09/2023 20:03

Whatever you do don’t “go on about it” or “nag” or “make him feel
bad”

the mess is your job and yours alone

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 02/09/2023 20:08

I'd put all the stuff away, back in his bloody office!

Jaxhog · 02/09/2023 20:18

Easy. Put all his crap back in the garage.

Violinist64 · 02/09/2023 20:20

bluejumping · 02/09/2023 20:03

Whatever you do don’t “go on about it” or “nag” or “make him feel
bad”

the mess is your job and yours alone

Which decade are you living in, the 1950s? Why is HIS mess the OP’s job to clear up, while sporting a beatific smile and thinking boys will be boys? He has made a terrible mess and he should clear it up asap. Otherwise, l suggest that the OP removes all the rubbish either back to the garage or to somewhere else out of sight.

Bettyboobaloo · 02/09/2023 20:28

Bin it. You know nothing about nothing x

Solonge · 02/09/2023 20:48

Rabbitingonandon · 01/09/2023 15:01

Yup, this. To confirm, he mentioned the idea of turning the garage into an office. He didn't say he would do it that same night while I was out. He insinuated that he would simply be moving stuff around in the garage to accommodate. Not clearing it out and dumping it the house. He was wfh for years and never needed a specific space for a desk. We don't have a spare room. I'm fuming over the mess,it will be left for me to take to the tip, for me to clear/sort, as he would happily live amongst the crap. I know if I ask him to sort it, then he say he'll do it. It won't be done for ages. I'll get pissed off. He'll get pissed off for me keeping asking him to sort.

Show quote history

If he has a car fill his car up with the crap and tell him he better book an appointment at the tip. Alternatively arrange for a builder to come out and quote to build you a detached garage or convert your loft into a room. Basically make it clear its his fucking mess to sort out.

Heb1996 · 02/09/2023 21:03

@Rabbitingonandon if it’s all
just crap then get a skip and dump it all. Anything that is to be kept, ask your DH to store it in your loft and somewhere else, shed maybe. But tell him that it all has to be moved from the house.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 02/09/2023 21:07

Why is he getting the garage office if you both WFH? And if he’s OK working surrounded by mess, can the long-term plan be that all the stuff goes back in the garage once he’s done the conversion work on it?

If he’s converting it properly he does need to empty it to do the work, I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Just find out how long he thinks it’ll take and make that your deadline for shifting it all back again. In the meantime, if there’s no benefit to you and you’re not getting the garage office at the end of all this, and he’s dumped mess all over your WFH space, he needs to sort it out, organise and make it take up less space in your WFH (and home!) space until the garage is done.

TomatoSandwiches · 02/09/2023 21:12

I'd be more suspicious about his sudden need for a private office op.

Summerhasarrived · 02/09/2023 21:16

I’m guessing he knows it will piss you off if he leaves all this stuff cluttering up the house? And it’s probably not clean piles of chaos either, ie covered in dust and cobwebs? No timeframe or plan for relocating it and you weren’t properly consulted before it started. So selfish and inconsiderate IMO.
Perhaps you could have a ‘sort out’ of his wardrobe and dump it all over the garden…

Pupinski · 02/09/2023 21:21

Skip?

Pupinski · 02/09/2023 21:22

CoteDOpale · 01/09/2023 09:10

What do you mean by you’re ‘hoping’ he plans to put it back?

Have you not asked him? Communicating might help.

👍🏻

Pupinski · 02/09/2023 21:25

ihadamarveloustime · 02/09/2023 09:01

Not without talking first.

Why does OP have to drop everything she already had plans to do, after working a full time week and doing her own chores/jobs/etc because her husband randomly decided to pile a bunch of shit up in the house and leave it there. Why is this OP's problem to throw in on and solve?

It's not, in case you were wondering.

Show quote history

Why is the OP talking about it here, to hundreds of total strangers, instead of talking about it to her husband? 🤔

Dropthedonkey · 02/09/2023 21:28

Pupinski · 02/09/2023 21:25

Why is the OP talking about it here, to hundreds of total strangers, instead of talking about it to her husband? 🤔

Show quote history

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