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Original poster

That World Cup kiss

331 replies

mids2019 · 26/08/2023 08:03

The news about the world cup is being dominated by an unsolicited kiss on the lips on a Spanish player. I do not want to condone the rather bizarre and overly personal celebration of the head of Spanish football (idiot) but I do feel the whole matter has drawn focus away from the football on the pitch and made the hugely successful world cup a feminist issue where discussions are now revolving around appropriate behaviour between men and women rather than the actual sport.

Young girl players instead of looking up to the heroic exploits of our players are now getting drawn into much more general discussions about personal limits and what constitutes assault. I think this is all a pity really.

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6
omgsally · 26/08/2023 08:05

i know. i feel the same. Imagine, the actions of a man taking the spotlight away from a womans game.

iDontBelieveAnyOfYou · 26/08/2023 08:24

I never actually saw the kiss but looked it up out of curiosity after hearing all the hype. I expect a rather lengthy snog but all I saw was a bit of a peck. I just can't bring myself to get mad about it, I've seen Spanish managers do that to men as well. It's a bit of a continental thing isn't it.

It is very tiresome when people get addicted to drama instead of focusing on sport itself. Such a massive achievement and nobody is really focusing on the match. I'm sure someone will be along with a boring lecture about how the kiss amounts to 'rape' but I just can't get excited about something so small, nor do I care.

I honestly think newspapers don't want to run a plain story about women's football so instead they have to make a fuss about something to spice up the story. I am so, so tired of gossip and drama overshadowing the achievements of successful women.

Threenow · 26/08/2023 08:29

I agree with you @iDontBelieveAnyOfYou. It's such a ridiculous thing to have all this drama over, and has taken the focus off the team and its achievements.

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MotherOfGodWeeFella · 26/08/2023 08:30

Well Rubiales's speech yesterday showed what a prime arse he is. From his perspective he didn't bend to the will of the players who refused to play for the manager and they were nearly all replaced. The new team has just won the world cup. He likely feels invincible and vindicated. He seems to have lied about having permission for the kiss and the player is on video almost immediately afterwards in the dressing room saying she didn't like it.

He has made it all about him.

Pabbit · 26/08/2023 08:30

Its an issue in many women's sports, I think it's a shame its overshadowing the game for some but having played at a reasonable level for decades its an important conversation to have and I think those that have been inspired to take up sport or to take women's sport seriously won't have that taken away because of this; but it's a brilliant platform to shine a light on it. It doesn't matter if it was 'just a peck', it made her feel uncomfortable.

Friggingfrog · 26/08/2023 08:32

Young girl players instead of looking up to the heroic exploits of our players are now getting drawn into much more general discussions about personal limits and what constitutes assault. I think this is all a pity really.

why is it a pity? Discussions about personal limits are good to have, surely? It’s a shame a man’s actions have taken away from the women’s achievements but it’s not a pity that young girls are discussing appropriate boundaries and personal limits

Fifireee · 26/08/2023 08:34

This is what men do.

If he had quietly resigned then the matter would have moved on.

But no

Pabbit · 26/08/2023 08:35

Friggingfrog · 26/08/2023 08:32

Young girl players instead of looking up to the heroic exploits of our players are now getting drawn into much more general discussions about personal limits and what constitutes assault. I think this is all a pity really.

why is it a pity? Discussions about personal limits are good to have, surely? It’s a shame a man’s actions have taken away from the women’s achievements but it’s not a pity that young girls are discussing appropriate boundaries and personal limits

Also agree with this, especially if the girls are looking to get into sport. I remember after a game our manager would hit us all on the arse as we walked back into the changing room- as young teens didn't think too much of it besides being uncomfortable but not having the courage to say anything for fear of being dropped from the team. Of course not all male coaches are like this, but I don't think discussions around boundaries are bad. The Spanish team have been quite outspoken haven't they about it?

toddlermum27 · 26/08/2023 08:37

Disagree op - a woman speaking out about her boundaries being overstepped and many many other women coming out in solidarity is very good role modelling for other young women.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 26/08/2023 08:39

Why are discussions around boundaries so bad? I think it’s great for young girls to see other people saying this is inappropriate, this is wrong, his apology wasn’t genuine and is unacceptable. It lets girls know that they don’t have to put up with this shit. That we are saying enough is enough.

Dinobooklover · 26/08/2023 08:40

I completely disagree, OP. This young woman has said she did not consent to the kiss at all. I think she's an excellent role model.

PinkCherryBlossoms · 26/08/2023 08:43

Dinobooklover · 26/08/2023 08:40

I completely disagree, OP. This young woman has said she did not consent to the kiss at all. I think she's an excellent role model.

This.

AndAllOurYesterdays · 26/08/2023 08:44

This is exactly the sort of message young fans should be exposed to. It's so great that women are no longer just putting up and shutting up because it was 'only a peck'. And it's great that Jenni has been able to reflect on her initial comments and say that she felt pressured into making them.

Simonjt · 26/08/2023 08:45

She was assaulted, thankfully the assault was recorded otherwise she would likely be called a liar. He shouldn’t have to resign, he should have been sacked for assaulting her. Unfortunately it looks like it will take men also refusing to play to have any form of positive outcome, as the women choosing not to play won’t bother sexist abusers or a great many football fans.

I have to assume that those who think it is a pity that a woman rightly doesn’t enjoy being assaulted is more than happy to be assaulted themselves or see their daughters assaulted by a man? Or is assault only a problem when it happens to someone you care about?

Anotherchristianmama · 26/08/2023 08:46

It's an incredibly important discussion. Very few of our daughters will end up as professional sportswomen. All of our daughters will have men pushing and trampling on their boundaries.

WalkingThroughTreacle · 26/08/2023 08:47

How would you feel if your boss at work pulled you in and gave you an unwanted and uninvited kiss?

Yes, this incident shouldn't be taking the spotlight away from the actually sport - because it shouldn't have bloody happened. It did though, and if it isn't called out and the perpetrator held fully to account then other men of that mindset will continue to feel entitled to behave like that and women will continue to feel like they just have to accept it. I don't care how much credit he might be due for his part in the team's victory. He sexually assaulted her. That's all there is to it.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 26/08/2023 08:49

Perhaps certain areas like the press or some people may now just be focused on that entitled males behaviour (NOTE It may have just been a peck but he had her face in a vice grip).

Most people I know are able to discuss both fairly proportionately.

And while some men continue to behave like twats who think it's their birth right to manhandle women I shall continue to call it out.

MadamWhiteleigh · 26/08/2023 08:49

The female players are making a big thing of this because want this guy out, and the team coach who is supported by him. It all links back to the mass resignations last September.

Richmondgal · 26/08/2023 08:50

Threenow · 26/08/2023 08:29

I agree with you @iDontBelieveAnyOfYou. It's such a ridiculous thing to have all this drama over, and has taken the focus off the team and its achievements.

Agree the media love a woke drama
i am a reasonable squash player last season we won a national comp
male coach kissed me as we were all jumping about
no problem
nor a big deal
sport is about emotions
I don’t want the coach to shake my hand and say jolly good show old bean

tweetsandchirps · 26/08/2023 08:50

I suspect there is more to this - rumours of the whole Spanish football management being a bunch of arses behind closed doors. Sometimes when it is done in the public eye it can be used to push a cause.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 26/08/2023 08:50

And yes FYI it was the actions of A MAN which triggered this.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 26/08/2023 08:51

toddlermum27 · 26/08/2023 08:37

Disagree op - a woman speaking out about her boundaries being overstepped and many many other women coming out in solidarity is very good role modelling for other young women.

👏👏

PinkCherryBlossoms · 26/08/2023 08:51

Anotherchristianmama · 26/08/2023 08:46

It's an incredibly important discussion. Very few of our daughters will end up as professional sportswomen. All of our daughters will have men pushing and trampling on their boundaries.

Yep.

And one does wonder what the people who think this has taken the spotlight away or whatever reason they've come up with for Jenni being in the wrong, would've liked her to do instead.

IClaudine · 26/08/2023 08:52

I think the kiss is part of a wider pattern of inappropriate behaviour.

Back in the 80s, my boss (who had been to the pub) kissed me on the lips in the middle of the office. It was humiliating, but I laughed it off, as you did in those days. I am glad women are calling out this shit.

www.theguardian.com/football/2023/aug/24/spanish-football-president-in-kissing-row-denies-new-misogyny-allegations

Vallmo47 · 26/08/2023 08:52

I can see both sides of this, but women shouldn’t have to put up with crap like this from a man so she’s not in the wrong to stand up for herself.