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Original poster

Would you choose your partner again if you met now?

158 replies

Ceramekin · 25/08/2023 07:36

I guess it’s a question to those who have spent some time together… Knowing their character, taking into account how you both have changed physically and in personality, would you marry them?

OP posts:
SantaBarbaraMonica · 26/08/2023 18:14

Yeah, definitely!

Teaandbiscuits60 · 26/08/2023 18:16

Yes every time he is one in a million

Fairyliz · 26/08/2023 18:18

Nope I wouldn’t have married him or indeed anyone and not had children.
I find I am much more content with a very simple life in my own, occasionally meeting other people.
Living with others just causes stress with their constant demands.

Manthide · 26/08/2023 18:23

foulksmills · 25/08/2023 07:48

Fuck no!! I'd kill to go back in time and run like Hell at the very first red flag that my young, dumb, insecure self stupidly ignored.

Me too! I'd run so fast my feet wouldn't touch the ground. Still enduring his gas lighting, controlling, lazy behaviour 37 years later - despite having been divorced from him for 2 years today. At least our daughters know what to avoid!!

Manthide · 26/08/2023 18:33

Kazzyhoward · 25/08/2023 11:22

@foulksmills

We don't find out til it's too late

I think in a minority of cases, yes, sometimes people can change for the worse.

But I'm pretty certain that most people don't change that much and that warning signs/red flags were there back in the early days. Trouble is that in the early days of a relationship, rose-tinted glasses mean you don't notice the signs or people just assume that the other will change or that they can make them change, to suit them.

It's exactly why I took my time, took things very slowly and ensured I really knew OH before I started to get serious with him. I wanted to see his weaknesses, flaws, etc., I wanted to see him stressed, I wanted to see him handle problems, etc.

It's too easy to let emotions take over and blank out problems. Too much "heart over head" when it should be "head over heart" when it comes to long term relationships.

You're right the signs were there but I was a young 21 and he was older (26) and well travelled. He isn't English so I just dismissed his occasional controlling behaviour as just because he was foreign!

Manthide · 26/08/2023 18:37

Acornsoup · 25/08/2023 14:18

No if I could still have my DC.

I used to think that about our dc - and they are absolutely wonderful- but then I would have also adored any children I had with a much better man - and they wouldn't have had to endure such a horrible life with an abusive, controlling father.

WorriedMillie · 26/08/2023 18:39

Yes, I’m fact moreso now than then, as he’s matured with age, is a far nicer person and is an amazing Dad

Aelathehuntress · 26/08/2023 18:40

Yes. Without a doubt.❤️

Ivyusername · 26/08/2023 18:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Whatsthesituation · 26/08/2023 18:48

No, it's bloody hard work and it shouldn't be.

MrsMarzetti · 26/08/2023 18:49

Mindymomo · 25/08/2023 07:38

Most definitely, 33 years married today, we are best friends.

Congratulations Flowers

MrsMarzetti · 26/08/2023 18:51

Would marry him again tomorrow, he is lovely.

LoverofGreen · 26/08/2023 19:04

Lupin61 · 25/08/2023 08:50

No! I would still find him attractive but he isn’t the person he used to be and I don’t like him as much anymore

Sadly I’m thinking along these lines myself currently, hoping it changes

Meatus · 26/08/2023 19:08

A million times over. He’s brilliant and I’m very lucky to have him.

GreenMonstersParty · 26/08/2023 19:11

Absolutely yes!! We're very different but he's my best friend and I love him and spending time with him. Together over 20 years

Witchbitch20 · 26/08/2023 19:12

Nope.

Olika · 26/08/2023 19:12

Absolutely

Acornsoup · 26/08/2023 19:17

@Manthide

I could not be without my DC.
I would do it all again tomorrow to know these good people. Their DF can disappear for all I care.

Lilithlogic · 26/08/2023 19:17

I'm not sure if it counts, but I'd definitely choose being single and celibate much sooner. I am so much happier since I decided relationships were not for me.

76evie · 26/08/2023 19:17

100% no!

PoshHorseyBird · 26/08/2023 19:18

A million percent yes.
January is 10 years since we went on our first date. Next Saturday us our 6 year wedding anniversary. We have an 8 year old son.
My only regret is that I didn't meet him sooner.

Ponderingwindow · 26/08/2023 19:20

Absolutely.

BigFatLiar · 26/08/2023 19:22

Yes

Hyppogriff · 26/08/2023 19:23

No

Olives9 · 26/08/2023 19:31

Yes, he gets better with time and since becoming a father I have even more respect for him.

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