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Would you choose your partner again if you met now?

158 replies

Ceramekin · 25/08/2023 07:36

I guess it’s a question to those who have spent some time together… Knowing their character, taking into account how you both have changed physically and in personality, would you marry them?

OP posts:
Soundwasp · 25/08/2023 08:14

It would always be him. I’d wish I met him much younger, or that there wasn’t such an age gap, simply to gave more time with him. The most loyal and caring man, who truly sees me. He’s my home.

Zippitydoodaa · 25/08/2023 08:18

No , definitely not.
We were both much older when we met, both widowed .He can be an arrogant ,know it all .Whereas I am a ' life's too short to get annoyed about things " kinda person.
Luckily in the early days , I explained to him, I don't want his type of attitude in my life and am able to answer quietly, but firmly if he starts a rant about something. Or sometimes ' the look !' Is enough to stop him from being big headed .
I wished we hadn't moved in together, I definitely wouldn't be with this person - wish I'd realised there was another side to Mr Nice Guy ,before we'd taken the step of staying together.
I now do lots of things on my own , go away for days ,weekends ,meet friends/ family. Life's not all bad , but on hindsight I did make the wrong choice .

WantingToEducate · 25/08/2023 08:22

100% yes!
He’s totally amazing.

FiddleLeaf · 25/08/2023 08:23

Hell yeah x10.

Devilsmommy · 25/08/2023 08:24

AllotmentTime · 25/08/2023 08:06

Yeah I would, how could I live without the snoring wind up merchant 😁😁😍

Have we got the same husband? 🤣 I could have written this

Badbadbunny · 25/08/2023 08:30

Yes, but we knew each other really well before settling down (10 years) so we were as certain as we could be that we were right for each other and had done lots of things, been through lots of things, before we committed.

We took things VERY slowly, even to the extent we'd been going out together for two years before we slept together. It would have been a few weeks of dating before we even snogged! I'm not the kind of person to rush into anything!

We discussed and planned every little thing, what we were wanting to buy even at the earliest stages of dating, as we trusted each other's judgement so just passed ideas by the other, not for "approval" or permission, but just for a sanity check as to whether it was a good idea or whether other options would be better. Never since the first few weeks of dating has either of us done anything, or bought anything, of significance with discussing it. Like I say, that's not asking permission, it's discussing the pros and cons, etc.

Now, looking back, we think we were crazy to wait for so long and to have been so cautious and slow about it all, but that's fine with the benefit of hindsight. It was ONLY fine because we took it slow, discussed everything, etc., that we knew we were right for each other.

We both hate change and far prefer to do everything slowly, more carefully, but do it right (for us), so whether it's been choosing a partner, or choosing a new car, or choosing which house to buy, or even choosing which TV to buy, we take our time, do our research, think it over, etc. Makes for a calm, peaceful, drama-free life!

BygoneDays · 25/08/2023 08:31

What is the point of this thread?

JustforAlice · 25/08/2023 08:32

Yes. In a heartbeat.

BIossomtoes · 25/08/2023 08:33

BygoneDays · 25/08/2023 08:31

What is the point of this thread?

It hasn’t got one. It’s idle chat.

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 25/08/2023 08:34

Yes!

RosesAndHellebores · 25/08/2023 08:40

35 years in. Yes. However, what I would say is it was entered with no doubts on either side and we had the same values and hopes for the future.

Life brings with it disappointments: miscarriages, bereavements, changed courses. Even without those things to navigate marriage can be challenging despite everything else being right. I imagine it's impossible with niggles or differences from the beginning.

Theborder · 25/08/2023 08:42

100 percent. I got with him when I was 17 and he was 19. He was lovely looking but skinny and still baby faced. He was funny and kind. He’s nearly 40 now, still funny and kind except he’s aged very well, no longer scrawny and all man. Love him 🤣

Jackienory · 25/08/2023 08:45

Nsws2015 · 25/08/2023 07:42

In a heartbeat, couldn't imagine being without him now

Me too.

LunaNorth · 25/08/2023 08:46

Yeah, definitely.

HamishTheCamel · 25/08/2023 08:47

Yes! We've been together for 26 years and there's no one I'd rather be with.

DivingForLove · 25/08/2023 08:49

Yes ❤️. 31 years together and still very happy - he’s a wonderful father and role model to our kids too.

Lupin61 · 25/08/2023 08:50

No! I would still find him attractive but he isn’t the person he used to be and I don’t like him as much anymore

ShimmyingThroughTheChaos · 25/08/2023 08:53

No.
Marriage is always a calculated risk and in my case it backfired. I don't think he's a bad person intrinsically but he changed into someone I don't recognise following FIL's death a few years ago(MH issues he refuses to addresses). The man I met and fell in love with is gone forever. My cheerful, level-headed, warm, handsome man is no more, and I have an angry, volatile, obstinate, unkempt person in his place. Even his face is different. I would liken current situation to being in an arranged marriage that I would never have chosen, but that I put up with out of duty and pragmatism, because it's not awful 100% of the the time.

whereisthecheese · 25/08/2023 08:54

Soundwasp · 25/08/2023 08:14

It would always be him. I’d wish I met him much younger, or that there wasn’t such an age gap, simply to gave more time with him. The most loyal and caring man, who truly sees me. He’s my home.

Aww that's beautiful :)

thebiggestsaleever · 25/08/2023 08:56

Maybe but I'd make sure we talked through a lot of the 'quirks' which drive me insane before making a commitment. I'm pretty sure he'd say the same.

DisforDarkChocolate · 25/08/2023 08:59

Yup, he's not perfect but he's a very good fit for me. Still makes me laugh, still fancy each other.

yogasaurus · 25/08/2023 09:01

Yes

VeridicalVagabond · 25/08/2023 09:02

Absolutely. And to think I wasn't sure about him when we met, and dithered for our first year because I was so young and uncertain and had so much else going on. He was gangling and awkward and dorky and shy, with a weird accent and a terrible haircut.

But how I love him now. I'd choose him again in a heartbeat. Terrible haircut and all.

I hope he'd choose me too!

AllotmentTime · 25/08/2023 09:03

Devilsmommy · 25/08/2023 08:24

Have we got the same husband? 🤣 I could have written this

😂 If you can also say "who else would gang up on the kids with me" then yes, yes I think we have 🤣

Rockschooldropout · 25/08/2023 09:03

Well I remarried in April so absolutely yes !
ex h though I met at 23 and if I could go back in time I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole - however I wouldn’t have my three lovely dcs though

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