Things your parents didn't believe in

[Aspergallus]

Inspired by the Timotei thread where someone mentioned that their mum didn't believe in hair conditioner, I realised there is actually quite a long list of things my parents didn't believe in that still leave me, at nearly 50 with DC of my own, feeling like I'm being ridiculously extra for doing every day things:

Hair conditioner as above -deemed totally unnecessary, not a real thing, and drain blocking by my parents. I had long, dry curly hair...

Vitamins -I bought my own as a teen as I thought it might help with acne. They behaved like I was shooting up H.

Make up. My mum believed that all make up (but particularly foundation) was the cause of all skin aging and would tell me (when I was wearing it to hide teenage acne) that once I was 40 I would look older than her as a result.

Tampons. Apparently if you used tampons, you'd have to go for a D&C every year or so due to "build up".

Deodorant. Not necessary if you washed apparently. They considered it something dirty people used in lieu of washing.

Sunglasses, especially when driving. Could make you go blind. Like the reading in the dark old wives tale. As a result my mum spend many a summer gardening with no eye protection and got early cataracts. Yet she still looks at me suspiciously, like I might crash, if I put them on to drive on a sunny day.

Contact lenses -seriously dangerous in their view.

Sun block -they were of that generation that used baby oil and encouraged me to do the same because I was so pale and unhealthy.

Changing job -you got one job and stuck with it or your CV would be ruined forever. And they took this literally, expecting me to stick with chambermaiding as a 17 year old. When I was in a professional role and given rotating training -shifting every 6 months, they were horrified. I'd never work again etc.

Hobbies including sport. They simply did not believe in hobbies or interests unless you were going to make it your whole life's devotion, career or it was going to take you to the Olympics. The idea that you might try something out, and not stick with it was outrageous.

I think my parents might have been particularly odd. There are other examples I can't bring myself to say out loud.

Please tell me other people have similar tales of things their parents didn't believe in...

Yes! My thoughts exactly too. However this lady believes splits ends are a myth and hasn’t heard about them in years now 😂

We weren't allowed Barbies and watching the Simpsons was forbidden, as were any soaps. My dad also refused to have a smoke alarm in the house- we used to ask him for one when the fire brigade had visited our school, but for some reason it made him really angry if we even mentioned smoke alarms! He also used to lock us in the house when we were home alone so that we couldn't answer the door. I wasn't allowed my own email address until I was 18 because my dad was convinced I would download a virus onto his computer.

Does anyone remember those press-on sanitary towels that were scented? My mother kept buying them and they were awful, a really strong coarse smell like a bargain deodorant or air freshener. I was convinced other girls would recognise the scent and 'know'. Which for some odd reason was really embarrassing, I don't know why as we were all in the same boat!

Deodorant- about 10 years ago I was out shopping with my grandma, I picked up a can of deodorant and she told me if I needed that I should see a doctor 🤦‍♀️ apparently as I was in my early 20s I had no need for it if I was clean and healthy - we were in big Tesco with a whole one side of an aisle dedicated to it 🙄

I'm early 30s and my mum was 20 when she had me but so many similarities! We don't speak now for many reasons but one's that stick
We were never ill always faking but she was a huge hypochondriac herself.
I was never allowed painkillers and I didn't have period pains because she didn't (endometriosis diagnosis since)
I was making up hayfever symptoms
Not allowed back downstairs after we'd gone to bed, even as a teenager I wouldn't even get a glass of water -couldn't believe that friends did at their houses
No food after 7pm not even fruit

NO patent shoes as these too were common - @Claricethecat45 I heard that these were frowned upon by nuns and Catholic schools as they could accidentally reflect up your skirt and get a peek of your underwear. I wonder is that where the common prejudice came from? They were all the rage in Catholic schools in the 1980s when I was young so it must be an older thing.

Your family sound very much like mine, a lot of rather nonsensical rules but a dream compared to some of these stories!!

a few more painted toenails meant you were common
an ankle chain a big no no as that was for prostitutes
no computer or tv games connected to tv as that broke the tv
no house phone for years and years and then obsessed with the bill
no bubble.gum or chewing gum as if you swallowed it could get twisted round your insides and kill you

Tbf, early games consoles did wreck a lot of TVs with squiggly lines and ghosting.

@LaMaG That’s exactly what a university housemate of mine said. She had gone to a Catholic school and said that the nuns told them patent leather shoes were wicked and forbidden because THE MEN would see the reflection of your underwear. Twisted or what.

Your “lived experience”? Fuck me. You are just having it explained that you aren’t using conditioner correctly.

Such weird aggression. Maybe sticky scalps do that to a person. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Does anyone remember those press-on sanitary towels that were scented?

Not so much scented ones which sound hideous but I think I had some called Libresse that had a sort of foamy side to them that was meant to stick to the inside of your knickers (they didn't and kept falling out of place). I think they were seen an some sort of revolution which meant you no longer needed the abomination that was the sanitary belt.

Ah, the comment police. Thank you for your input.

What about scented tampons - so weird and just why!

Scented pads are still available! Terrible idea.
Libresse were one of the first press-on pads. Compared to Dr Whites they were wonderful! But no good for heavy flow. They were 2-layered, the bottom layer was like a built-in panty liner and the pad was on top. They didn’t work very well as you say - the bottom sticky layer didn’t stick very well and used to roll up, and the top pad layer used to twist!

Step mum - didn’t believe in actually parenting. 🤣 God forbid if you needed a lift somewhere, someone to talk to, a new bra/pants or a mattress for that matter.

DF- A job with the local council was a job for life apparently, this probably was true many moons ago. Definitely not now.

MIl - cars were not for just ‘driving around’. Would check mileage after DH used the car and would question any unaccounted for miles. Didn’t believe in claiming on car insurance either. Believed DH would amount to nothing if he didn’t graduate from some sort of higher education and also believed you followed your dads career path. So graduate college and dad got you a job.

Oh the irony.

I have my bedroom windows open all year round. The only time I close them is if there is a very strong wind! It's hardly odd.

Me too

Apparently those of us who have been using conditioner for decades don't know what we are talking about So much for our "lived experience".

These are fascinating and some are downright odd (and some sad. I'm sorry.)

We were quite rural and my parents did not believe in fixing boy animals. We never had a girl cat or dog. They also did not provide vet care. The animals pretty much took care of themselves. Mostly outdoors. Dogs tied up and cats roaming and getting hit by cars. They did have flea collars. Thank goodness for when they were in the house! They moved to the suburbs and are much more sensible. I would say they 'go with the times'. Their last dog was completely spoiled and had a house-call vet. They've never had cats since. I think they only had cats because we brought them home :-(

Me three, but wouldn't be impressed waking up to snow on my bed!

This 'cold air' thing - I feel so sorry for all those poor people (incl children) dying of TB, a bacterial infection of the lungs, ffs, being made to lie in rooms and wards with open windows, in the freezing cold, in the belief that it would somehow improve things. It was batshit theory that must have made their already horrible suffering worse.

Telling the truth about your age. Mum's age was a mystery, even leading questions were shut down like what age were you when you married, what's the age gap between you and brother etc. It was like the 3rd secret of Fatima. Big birthdays were never acknowledged, I didn't know her age til in my 20s cos my sister snuck a peak at her passport. She was younger than i thought, i assumed she was ancient given the secrecy. She even lied on her census forms, ironically the census lady was in her class in school and she still proceeded with the lie. She died young so everyone talked of her age as soon as she was buried. Every now and then I think WTF???

Challenging “authority” especially teachers and health professionals.

Conversely trade professionals, mechanics, plumbers etc were charlatans only after your money and their advice was to be taken with a huge grain of salt!

Did not believe in children’s opinions, meals that involved forrin ingredients and lacked boiled potatoes, food poisoning (minimised the number of times a day the fridge got opened as much as possible,) women wearing trousers, driving or participating in sport, continental quilts (duvets), light shades that allowed sight of the light bulb, taking over-the-counter medication for minor ailments, make up other than lipstick, (which my mother wouldn’t leave the house without!) eating out or getting take aways other than fish and chips at the seaside, consumption of alcohol, the need to purchase a colour tv/video recorder/cd player or computer until they had been a staple in other households for at least a decade…

80s child with older parents (themselves children of WWII)

That generation didn't believe in talking about anything that 'aged' women, including menopause. The reason why so many Gen Xers grew up knowing absolutely bugger all about it. I lived at home when my mum was that age, I left when she was 59, yet she never once mentioned to me what she must have been experiencing. If she suffered in any way, and I think she must have as she had a day procedure for fibroids which must have meant she was having horrible symptoms, I was oblivious to it.