Things your parents didn't believe in

[Aspergallus]

Inspired by the Timotei thread where someone mentioned that their mum didn't believe in hair conditioner, I realised there is actually quite a long list of things my parents didn't believe in that still leave me, at nearly 50 with DC of my own, feeling like I'm being ridiculously extra for doing every day things:

Hair conditioner as above -deemed totally unnecessary, not a real thing, and drain blocking by my parents. I had long, dry curly hair...

Vitamins -I bought my own as a teen as I thought it might help with acne. They behaved like I was shooting up H.

Make up. My mum believed that all make up (but particularly foundation) was the cause of all skin aging and would tell me (when I was wearing it to hide teenage acne) that once I was 40 I would look older than her as a result.

Tampons. Apparently if you used tampons, you'd have to go for a D&C every year or so due to "build up".

Deodorant. Not necessary if you washed apparently. They considered it something dirty people used in lieu of washing.

Sunglasses, especially when driving. Could make you go blind. Like the reading in the dark old wives tale. As a result my mum spend many a summer gardening with no eye protection and got early cataracts. Yet she still looks at me suspiciously, like I might crash, if I put them on to drive on a sunny day.

Contact lenses -seriously dangerous in their view.

Sun block -they were of that generation that used baby oil and encouraged me to do the same because I was so pale and unhealthy.

Changing job -you got one job and stuck with it or your CV would be ruined forever. And they took this literally, expecting me to stick with chambermaiding as a 17 year old. When I was in a professional role and given rotating training -shifting every 6 months, they were horrified. I'd never work again etc.

Hobbies including sport. They simply did not believe in hobbies or interests unless you were going to make it your whole life's devotion, career or it was going to take you to the Olympics. The idea that you might try something out, and not stick with it was outrageous.

I think my parents might have been particularly odd. There are other examples I can't bring myself to say out loud.

Please tell me other people have similar tales of things their parents didn't believe in...

Mine are very trivial compared to the majority of these but they’re still a bit odd anyway:

Returning clothes - my mum always seemed to believe that you should never return clothes and the shop would be annoyed if you do. I remember being surprised when shopping with a friend as a young teen and seeing them casually return an item they’d bought earlier that day. It was only when I became a shop assistant myself that I realised how normal it is to return items and no one cares when you do.

Using a credit card for small purchases - my mum seems to think that you must pay in cash if the purchase is a small amount. She acts like I’m breaking some kind of rule when I pay by card to buy a £1 item for example.

My niece's mother doesn't believe in taking children on holiday, because they won't even remember it. So she is often on holidays but has never taken one of her children.
Mind you this is the woman that celebrates her own birthday all month long and barely has a cake for her kids.
My own parents believed that KFC is only for fat people. McDonald's is fine though

Kitchen towel
Margarine (wouldn’t touch it, was pointless)
Sleepovers (never allowed)
and the worst, black patent shoes.

I was a 70s child.

My parents did the same, and so did I! I still feel guilty about being indoors on a sunny day. Why do children need factor 50 though?

My granny was old-school Presbyterian and I remember her being very shocked and disapproving of Sindy and Pippa dolls because they had what were meant to be breasts. She used to make a point of dressing them if they were lying about naked and tell me to 'cover their tops up.'

Coloured knickers. I had cotton white, up to the waist ones until I was 15. Mum thought coloured, bikini pants were common. (The cotton bit was understandable) I secretly (with my disreputable friend) bought black lace bikini pants which I hid. Now I wear big white knickers again.
Going to Brownies or Guides. It was too tying, they pushed religion on you. I realised when I was older it was because mum and dad couldn’t afford the uniform or subs.

Drinking water to hydrate oneself. My mother, grandmother and father hydrated strictly with tea only because water was dismissed as 'boring' and unnecessary. As kids we drank squash with every meal.

Some of the reluctance to buy things was simply from needing to economise, and a general tendency to make do or repair, instead of buying new. We should do more of this. My sister is younger than me and she's always astonished I want to fix the thing I have instead of just throwing it away and buying a new one.

Mental health issues. As and adult, I have spent months in hospital under section, and they still deny MH issues are a thing.
Any sort of office job. They did not see it as a "real" job.
Hobbies that did not make you money. Also, any sort of college course that would not lead to a job.

Ice Cream van… every time it came in the street, my mum would pretend she couldn’t find her handbag, then when it drove off she would say ‘have a choc ice out of the freezer’.

Take away.. I had never eaten Chinese food until I started work and we went out for a Chinese.. I remember thinking the crispy duck must be tuna, that’s what it looked like to me.

No talking at the dinner table. My dad liked to eat his dinner in peace so we were to be quiet. I still find that one so odd. I like to use this time to talk to my kids about their day.

We had the same meal pattern every week. My brother and I still laugh about this. Totally regimented. It could not be deviated from. Sunday, roast, Tuesday cold meat, chips and beans, wed.. pork chop.. Thursday spag bol.. Friday Freezer dinner.. sat shepherds pie. FOR YEARS

oh there’s loads, I could be here all night

"And I had to have a slice of bread with my dinner. Dinner was perfectly fine, not a small portion, I didn't need any more."

My grandparents always had bread and butter available with every meal and I learnt recently that this was a WWII rationing thing - it being cheaper to partly fill up on bread. You see the same advice on modern groups like 'feed yourself for a pound'.

Agreed. I had to ask the laundry to stop putting fabric softener in with my sheets as it makes them so yucky and smelly. So the 1970s parents were right on that one....

My mother didn't like:

hair conditioner
tampons
washing hair more than once weekly
post arriving (she'd hide it as it was messy)
sieves (just stir the flour, same thing)
us children making friends (you don't need friends you've got family)

Moved out at 18 and haven't seen her since.

"Using a credit card for small purchases - my mum seems to think that you must pay in cash if the purchase is a small amount. She acts like I’m breaking some kind of rule when I pay by card to buy a £1 item for example."

Some small businesses have to pay a charge per transaction for card payments so I also try to pay cash for cheap things in small shops (even though where I live it's now illegal for them to insist on cash).

My mother hated long hair,If she overheard anyone tell me that my hair looked nice she'd snap "Don't tell her that,she'll never have those rats' tails cut off".

She also had a huge problem with me looking at myself in the mirror and would creep around the house trying to 'catch me out.'

Ice Cream van… every time it came in the street, my mum would pretend she couldn’t find her handbag, then when it drove off she would say ‘have a choc ice out of the freezer’

Or that that the tune the ice cream van played meant they had run out of ice creams. Choc ice it was!

My parents would never, ever consider getting a takeaway. It just was never an option. Tbf, they're both adventurous, great cooks, so we didn't miss out, but it would have been a thrill to get something in a carton.

Shoes were from Startrite, and occasionally Clarkes, but mainly StartRite. Our shoes were never delicate or pretty, but sturdy and supportive. We never bought shoes unless we'd been properly measured, so our feet didn't end up RUINED WHEN WE WERE GROWN UP.

@japonic omg yes!! We could only have startrite and had to drive 45 minutes to a startrite shop! I used to have to have the big round ones that prince william and Harry used to wear lol

Referring to any part of the body or ailment in any other way but euphemistically.
Genitalia and bottoms were collectively known as 'below the waist' (women) or 'below the belt' (men).
My aunties cancer was referred to with a whispered 'C'.
V&D, constipation or wind were 'problems with the toilet'. Which did cause some confusion the first time my mum said it in front of my plumber boyfriend and he offered to take a look.😂

This is the honest truth - oral sex. My mother told me it was only done in France. That explains why Dad took us to Paris on our first trip abroad in 1974 :)

My mum told me she didn't believe smoking caused cancer. 🤦‍♀️

clarks and start rite shoes! Yes that was a massive thing. Feet had to measured properly so you didn’t end up crippled or something equally dire.
Convenience foods were for lazy people. Even now my my mum scoffs when she sees bags of cut veggies or a ready made baked potato. Sheer laziness!

My parents didn't believe in:
people like us getting ideas above our station- i was ridiculed when I said I was interested in studying law (I was 14 and fairly bright)
didnt like us using long words- it looked like we were showing off and so could be misconstrued.
using toilets outside the home- if we were on holiday we could use them in our holiday accommodation but nowhere else.
relaxing or hobbies.
any amount of mess- everything must be spotless at all times.
socialising outside of school/ work
being positive or supportive
people (other than my mum) being ill- it was always for attention or they were putting it on.
non educational school trips- no school resodentials or exchange trips allowed. Something like a war cemetery would be permissible.
buying books when we could go to the library.
having nice things.

they are still the same now. It's sad.

Never discus money. It's rude. So was never taught budgeting or how much anything cost until I moved out.

Running or going to the gym. Well, exercise in general really unless it was ‘keep fit’ at the village hall every Thursday night with the WI. I joined a gym when I was in my mid 20s and they treated me with the utmost suspicion about this.

Mr Kipling cakes and pies. Didn’t believe in them. Wouldn’t allow them in the house. No idea why as they were big fans of Kit Kats, Penguins, Clubs and so on, so it must have only applied to pre-packaged cakes, not biscuits.

Patent leather shoes. Would scuff horribly and boys would see the reflection of your knickers in them.

Listening to pop music before secondary school age. No, I don’t know why either.

Shaving underarms is dirty. People only do it so they don't have to wash as often.