Things your parents didn't believe in

[Aspergallus]

Inspired by the Timotei thread where someone mentioned that their mum didn't believe in hair conditioner, I realised there is actually quite a long list of things my parents didn't believe in that still leave me, at nearly 50 with DC of my own, feeling like I'm being ridiculously extra for doing every day things:

Hair conditioner as above -deemed totally unnecessary, not a real thing, and drain blocking by my parents. I had long, dry curly hair...

Vitamins -I bought my own as a teen as I thought it might help with acne. They behaved like I was shooting up H.

Make up. My mum believed that all make up (but particularly foundation) was the cause of all skin aging and would tell me (when I was wearing it to hide teenage acne) that once I was 40 I would look older than her as a result.

Tampons. Apparently if you used tampons, you'd have to go for a D&C every year or so due to "build up".

Deodorant. Not necessary if you washed apparently. They considered it something dirty people used in lieu of washing.

Sunglasses, especially when driving. Could make you go blind. Like the reading in the dark old wives tale. As a result my mum spend many a summer gardening with no eye protection and got early cataracts. Yet she still looks at me suspiciously, like I might crash, if I put them on to drive on a sunny day.

Contact lenses -seriously dangerous in their view.

Sun block -they were of that generation that used baby oil and encouraged me to do the same because I was so pale and unhealthy.

Changing job -you got one job and stuck with it or your CV would be ruined forever. And they took this literally, expecting me to stick with chambermaiding as a 17 year old. When I was in a professional role and given rotating training -shifting every 6 months, they were horrified. I'd never work again etc.

Hobbies including sport. They simply did not believe in hobbies or interests unless you were going to make it your whole life's devotion, career or it was going to take you to the Olympics. The idea that you might try something out, and not stick with it was outrageous.

I think my parents might have been particularly odd. There are other examples I can't bring myself to say out loud.

Please tell me other people have similar tales of things their parents didn't believe in...

I have still never pleased my mother but this thread has made me feel a bit Bridget Jones when she realised Mark Darcy just liked his pants folded when the other girls had been abused and pimped.

Totally agree. My parents are a bit difficult and certainly have their odd habits but, Jeez, the things some of the poster on this thread have talked about just don't bear thinking about. Gave DD an extra big squeeze tonight when I got in from work thinking of some of your childhoods 💐.

I will never whinge about my DPs again.

Ah, piles! That explains the mystery. There is no way I'd have been told that. My parents wouldn't have believed in rectums or anuses.

My last was to @RosesAndHellebores who I quoted badly but also to lots of you that have talked about your childhoods

My parents were generally very normal about most things but my DM had been brought up very Catholic so sex was the most shameful thing. Shouldn’t happen before marriage, shouldn’t be enjoyed by women and is only for keeping the man happy and having a baby. And that was the only time she ever discussed sex, periods etc anything like that. It was not to be talked about.

And food wise, if she didn’t like it, we didn’t have it. Only veg we ate was carrots and sweetcorn because she didn’t like anything else, only had yoghurts in flavours she liked etc. We had plenty of food but choice was limited because she was a fussy eater and wouldn’t let us have things she didn’t like!

@5128gap I remember conditioner in the mid 70s; before that I don't remember but there was a nice brand that came.out about then which I had aged 15. I remember it because people said my hair smellt nice and I was seeing a boy It might have been Wella.

Both weird and contradictory. You are the one denying other people’s experiences.

I think this thread showed that nobody really has an ideal childhood, and that we have more in common with each other in that respect then we think . Sometimes it's easy to believe we are the only ones going through stuff but we aren't alone at all. Thankful for those who have shared things that help the rest of us feel less alone.

My aunt's partner didn't believe in conditioner. She said it was a scam to get us to pay more to the salons. Mind you her hair looked nice so she managed.

Actually my mum doesn't believe that children should drink water. She won't let them just have water even though they like water. She freaks out when she sees I've poured them water and immediately adds squash. When my eldest was a toddler she would look so sad and say to him 'aw no' or 'yuck, water!' when we gave him a sippy cup of water. It's a real source of annoyance for her. I think she thinks I'm depriving them of their childhood by giving them water.

• Any form of entertainment (or cultural activities) other than crap TV. We never went to the cinema or to the theatre. And we never went on a day out.
• Exercise.
• American movies.
• Parisians (Parents are French).
• Politicians (They have a point)
• God.

Strong disapproval from mum and nanna when I wore my first pair of Dr Scholl wooden sandals. Dire warnings that "your feet will spread"

We couldn't keep period products in the bathroom. I lived with my single mum, me and my sister (so an all female house) but my mum was still horrified at the thought a man might come round and be made uncomfortable at the sight of a pad or tampon.
Also, my mum insisted pads be flushed down the toilet despite all packaging saying not to, and them being a nightmare to actually flush. What if someone went through our bins in the dead of the night to to discover a house with 3 females in might have someone menstruating!
My mum once had an operation, so my nan and grandad offered to do the weekly shop. My mum then made me walk 30 minutes there and back to the store because she couldn't possibly have her father know she needed pads!

No it doesn’t. It’s some light among the darkness of what so many posters endured at the hands of their awful, awful parents.

"Sitting on walls (in cold weather) would give you piles, according to my mother!!!!"

My grandfather definitely believed this.

Eating any sort of snack between meals as it will 'spoil' your dinner. Even this as a late teenager with a huge appetite. Even if it was actually going to be another two hours until the bloody dinner was going to be ready.

It was radiators in our house!

It was both in mine.

Keeping soft drinks (which were a rare enough presence to begin with) in the fridge.

If you required a soft drink below room temperature a single small ice cube was deployed.

I had a happy childhood, growing up in the 60s/70s but I can relate to some of these posts. I was very lucky, but these things do stick in my mind.

Watching ITV was banned for years, mainly as Mum was concerned we would be begging for all of the toys and unhealthy breakfast cereals advertised during the kids' shows. Looking back that's understandable.

We also only bathed twice a week, in shared water. When I was about 8 I got a verruca while swimming, so had to bathe last until it was removed, which was grim.

Long hair was another thing my twin sister and I weren't allowed. I can remember as a child being mistaken for a boy as my hair was so short. I was so hurt and embarrassed and I've never forgotten that feeling. As soon as I was in my teens and able to style my own hair, I let it grow.

Like you, my parents had a thing about me looking pale and unhealthy. I had to lie in the sun for half an hour to get some colour (once a year).

It might not have been often but it was still totally ridiculous. I wasn't and am still not a sun worshipper.

It's funny how people of a certain generation were (and still are) so worried about what "people" think.

I've thought of a few more.

I wasn't allowed to say 50p because p's were peas and therefore green things you ate. I always had to say 50 pence (or whatever the coin was).

Fart was rude and I had to say pump.

And I had to have a slice of bread with my dinner. Dinner was perfectly fine, not a small portion, I didn't need any more.

Not liking fabric softener/conditioner is perfectly sensible though - it's horrible chemical yuckness and is also bad for the washing machine.

Still miss that stuff.

Putting mini dustbins in bathrooms, even when tucked away. Too “American”. Then they couldn’t understand why their teenage daughters were ashamed to be using their sanitary products and had nowhere to dispose of it correctly without parading it through the house.

I remember being told that my feet would spread but I can't remember what I had on my feet at the time.

My mum was obsessed with the benefits of sunny weather. At the first sign of sun, we were all outside, either walking, hiking or playing - anything as long as it was outside, but smeared in the thickest, gunkiest suncream and a thick coating of lip screen on. It would have SO much easier to leave me to my Pippa dolls, in my nice, cool bedroom.

Annoyingly, I try to do this to my kids as well, having learned absolutely nothing, apparently. I usually catch myself as I suggest 'getting outside, it's a lovely day!' and then forcing them to walk through a choking cloud of factor 50.