Things your parents didn't believe in

[Aspergallus]

Inspired by the Timotei thread where someone mentioned that their mum didn't believe in hair conditioner, I realised there is actually quite a long list of things my parents didn't believe in that still leave me, at nearly 50 with DC of my own, feeling like I'm being ridiculously extra for doing every day things:

Hair conditioner as above -deemed totally unnecessary, not a real thing, and drain blocking by my parents. I had long, dry curly hair...

Vitamins -I bought my own as a teen as I thought it might help with acne. They behaved like I was shooting up H.

Make up. My mum believed that all make up (but particularly foundation) was the cause of all skin aging and would tell me (when I was wearing it to hide teenage acne) that once I was 40 I would look older than her as a result.

Tampons. Apparently if you used tampons, you'd have to go for a D&C every year or so due to "build up".

Deodorant. Not necessary if you washed apparently. They considered it something dirty people used in lieu of washing.

Sunglasses, especially when driving. Could make you go blind. Like the reading in the dark old wives tale. As a result my mum spend many a summer gardening with no eye protection and got early cataracts. Yet she still looks at me suspiciously, like I might crash, if I put them on to drive on a sunny day.

Contact lenses -seriously dangerous in their view.

Sun block -they were of that generation that used baby oil and encouraged me to do the same because I was so pale and unhealthy.

Changing job -you got one job and stuck with it or your CV would be ruined forever. And they took this literally, expecting me to stick with chambermaiding as a 17 year old. When I was in a professional role and given rotating training -shifting every 6 months, they were horrified. I'd never work again etc.

Hobbies including sport. They simply did not believe in hobbies or interests unless you were going to make it your whole life's devotion, career or it was going to take you to the Olympics. The idea that you might try something out, and not stick with it was outrageous.

I think my parents might have been particularly odd. There are other examples I can't bring myself to say out loud.

Please tell me other people have similar tales of things their parents didn't believe in...

My beliefs? Lol. My OWN split ends are fact. I’m hardly able to force them on you.

very touchy about someone else’s flaws!

Squirrel28 · Today 15:36
My mum used to claim that she ‘couldn’t afford’ various random non-expensive items (the Radio Times and special school uniform socks were two that really annoyed me). Obviously NOW I realise that what she actually meant was ‘No I’m not going to waste my money on these overpriced and unnecessary things. You silly obnoxious teenager.’

I think a lot of the posts are the opposite of this. certainly in my family; rather than saying we can't afford it, my mother and sisters would make up a lot of "we don't believe in" rules.

As a child in the 70s I had wild curly hair. My mum used to apply something she called 'cream rinse' from Avon to it. I imagine this was conditioner? Certainly proper conditioner was around in the 80s.

There is a special place in hell for parents like that.

Being ill. Having poor mental health. Being cold.
People feeling these things were just being silly and needed more fresh air.

@Worriedpersonn

your description of the dog getting over-excited at coming in for a ‘quick swing round the house’ made me laugh out loud.

so many sad and twisted examples of controlling behaviour on here, I am starting to feel better about my upbringing. For me, shaving my pits and using tampons was regarded as some sort of perversion but at least I was allowed deodorant. Do remember conditioner being regarded as a scam as well, and I had waist length hair that could have really done with a bit of extra love. My best mate’s mum wouldn’t let her wear tights til she was about sixteen. God knows what that was about either.

My mum with the changing job- I had to stay in the worst jobs for a year before I could leave.

My father who in NC with because he's such an arsehole doesn't believe in recycling 🫠🫠

My dgps were wonderful and always had treats. I used to love staying with them

Fun. The point of life seemed to be as miserable as possible

Hobbies including sport. They simply did not believe in hobbies or interests unless you were going to make it your whole life's devotion, career or it was going to take you to the Olympics. The idea that you might try something out, and not stick with it was outrageous.

This one for us too!

Also drinking water. My mum huffs every time we go out somewhere and one of the kids takes their water bottle with them. And comments every time there's water on the table at a mealtime (which is every mealtime!). I find it perplexing: I'm totally happy for her to drinks things-other-than-water with meals so I don't understand why she is so against us drinking water 🤷🏻‍♀️

Admit it, you were cold because you were lying about doing nothing! If you were active like ME (I can hear my Mum saying this now) you wouldn't feel the cold. And of course you couldn't wear anything warm indoors because then you wouldn't "feel the benefit" when you put your coat on and went outside.

I could understand being mean with the heating because that's expensive. But why no properly warm clothes or duvets, and hot water bottles filled (very grudgingly) from the (tepid) hot water tap?

God, this thread is cathartic!

Also: council houses, a whole pizza to oneself, Irish people, painting walls without putting up lining paper first, double buggies, twins, candy floss, sugar on strawberries (even horrible sour ones).

I'm pleased to say that Irish people are back in favour after Golden Boy DB married one, and lining paper has been abandoned as too much of a faff.

Oh also relaxing. I still find it very difficult to be honest! The expectation was that every minute had to be spent productively: what do you want to achieve today? Some days the sum total of my ambitions is to go for a walk and cook and eat a nice dinner...

I'm sure it isn't only a generational thing at all, I think this kind of amnesia embarassmen t does still happen. I guess what I was trying to say and expressed very clumsily is that I like to think most parents have a better idea of the importance of children's emotional needs than they used to. I hope so anyway. But there have always been and always will be some bellend parents out there.

Sitting on walls (in cold weather) would give you piles, according to my mother!!!! No idea if it’s vaguely true but it really put me off. Got them post pregnancy anyway…!

My parents didn’t believe in mental health of anti depressants, thought that self harm was just attention seeking behaviors and refused to acknowledge it.
They also didn’t believe in anything other than a Uni education, similar to others here. I was ultimately forced to go to uni, if I were to do it all again I wouldn’t go.
They also didn’t believe in pain relief until their later years. Witch hazel in a paper towel cured all ailments.

My Mum disapproved of tampons for us girls (my sister and I) but happily used them herself! I can only assume this was to keep my precious hymen intact. 😆Also pretty sure that my 16 year old boyfriend didn't care/notice whether it was when I lost my virginity. Never mind the fact that my periods were so heavy that I couldn't walk to school without getting there in a state, blood all down my tights etc.

My Mum & Dad also disapproved of (in no particular order) - denim jackets (made me look hard), dangly earrings (made me look like gypsy rose lee?), conditioner (claim it didn't exist pre mid-90's), shaving one's legs (would make it grow back darker), having 'dislikes' among food, pets of all kinds, any job that wouldn't make us 'rich', any friends who they deemed 'common', any extra-curricular activities that cost them any money or needed any effort from them.

Ohhh..

Remembered some more..

Fun - particularly, random daft conversations about silly ideas. Idle conjecture, not permitted (this wasn't for example, to get out of doing a task, this would be when there was fuck all else TO do, sat in a car on a long journey or on a loooooooong walk, both things we did a lot of!).

Being cold - figment of your imagination, put a jumper on, run around (but certainly do NOT sit under a blanket. The Horror!)

Things that show the dirt - which I realise has become ingrained in me (haha) as I was browsing for a new rug.. a WASHABLE rug and was still looking for colours that would not show the dirt. I have now bought a light rug that might indeed, show the dirt, but its WASHABLE so I don't give a fuck!

We didn’t have takeaways, they were for people too lazy to cook a home dinner. My mum didn’t see them as a treat, rather a second place meal.
No wearing knickers to bed, apparently the vag needs airing.
Women and children don’t get served first at any meal. Never. To this day. It still winds me up.

My parents thought self harm was attention seeking at best, being evil at worst. "If you want to kill yourself why not get on and do it then?" My dad told me. I was given ultimatum to stop it or would be thrown out. I should have wanted that but I didn't have a place to go!

That's appalling did you not realise health visitors are an optional service

Praise.

Goodness, this thread is making me more and more thankful for my parents. They both died in their late 80s, but I can't think of anything they didn't believe in, except that both preferred to pay bills themselves rather than rely on direct debits. DF happily let me take over his bill paying online once cheques ceased to exist (not in UK). They had their quirks of course, but generally they moved with the times.

This thread is great. When I first read the title I couldn't think of anything but actually having seen others' comments there's quite a lot, and my parents are only mid 60s!

Toasters - if they ever do toast they use the grill, when I still lived with them I made them get a toaster but now it lives in the cupboard.

Drinking water - they would rather go without than drink water, unless exercising.

Would agree with tampons for my mum too - not necessarily that she didn't believe in them but she certainly would never use them and gave me giant maxi pads when I started.

Buying things in day out gift shops - no way was I ever getting anything from the zoo/museum gift shop.

I think I've got off lightly reading through these but here goes:

Unhealthy snacks in lunchboxes. I was jealous of the other children with crisps and chocolate and vowed to let my children have these things one day.

Buying gifts from gift shops, or food from cafés when on family trips out because "the day was the treat."

Foreign exchanges in secondary school. Because the people willing to host teenagers in their homes are probably peadophiles.

Trick or treating, also due to peadophiles.

Also

Putting nails in the wall - my mum will hang pictures on nails already there but absolutely does not want to add any new ones.

Decorating with colour - everything has to be plain and neutral colours.