Things your parents didn't believe in

[Aspergallus]

Inspired by the Timotei thread where someone mentioned that their mum didn't believe in hair conditioner, I realised there is actually quite a long list of things my parents didn't believe in that still leave me, at nearly 50 with DC of my own, feeling like I'm being ridiculously extra for doing every day things:

Hair conditioner as above -deemed totally unnecessary, not a real thing, and drain blocking by my parents. I had long, dry curly hair...

Vitamins -I bought my own as a teen as I thought it might help with acne. They behaved like I was shooting up H.

Make up. My mum believed that all make up (but particularly foundation) was the cause of all skin aging and would tell me (when I was wearing it to hide teenage acne) that once I was 40 I would look older than her as a result.

Tampons. Apparently if you used tampons, you'd have to go for a D&C every year or so due to "build up".

Deodorant. Not necessary if you washed apparently. They considered it something dirty people used in lieu of washing.

Sunglasses, especially when driving. Could make you go blind. Like the reading in the dark old wives tale. As a result my mum spend many a summer gardening with no eye protection and got early cataracts. Yet she still looks at me suspiciously, like I might crash, if I put them on to drive on a sunny day.

Contact lenses -seriously dangerous in their view.

Sun block -they were of that generation that used baby oil and encouraged me to do the same because I was so pale and unhealthy.

Changing job -you got one job and stuck with it or your CV would be ruined forever. And they took this literally, expecting me to stick with chambermaiding as a 17 year old. When I was in a professional role and given rotating training -shifting every 6 months, they were horrified. I'd never work again etc.

Hobbies including sport. They simply did not believe in hobbies or interests unless you were going to make it your whole life's devotion, career or it was going to take you to the Olympics. The idea that you might try something out, and not stick with it was outrageous.

I think my parents might have been particularly odd. There are other examples I can't bring myself to say out loud.

Please tell me other people have similar tales of things their parents didn't believe in...

Washing more than once a week

Deodorant

Sports ( maybe for the best, given the above)

Friends/ social network

Doing anything nice together. I remember going on a first family holiday abroad in my mid teens and I was so confused at seeing people/ families sitting out at restaurants talking, clearly enjoying an evening together. It blew my mind!!

80's child I was told it was unnecessary.

Grew up in the 90s:

• Dad believed fizzy drinks were terrible but believed all fruit juices / squash / tea with sugar were all fine in comparison and were therefore limitless in my house. My teeth are in a terrible state.
• Non traditional subjects wouldn’t be accepted by universities or future jobs. Had to stick to the core 3, history, geography, RE and a language. Anything else was just a waste of time.
• uni was the only way I would get anywhere in life.
• Not wearing socks would damage my feet. I was that kid forced to wear socks with my jelly shoes, sandals….

Hard one - I lost my mum so my dad raised me from a young age. When I started my periods, he didn’t believe that they aren’t always bang on time. He didn’t believe you could possibly leak. He didn’t believe just how many pads were needed. I started at 11. A good couple of years of “why the hell do you need money for another pack?!” “ What the hell have you done to your bedding? It’s not normal it’s just plain incompetence” “Oh you need to go an buy pads do you? Didn’t think about it again did you? No it’s not early you just didn’t think” I’ve blocked this time from my head. Soon learnt that my pocket money was going to gave to go towards masses of pads and extra blankets to sleep on top of and wash subtly.

On a lighter note he also didn’t believe that homework should take so long and took great pride in telling teachers that I deserved free time in the evening. Holy cow he really was that parent. I now have come to realise he hated school!

japonic yes, ITV here too! We used to illegally watch Crossroads before my mum got home.

Wearing sunglasses would 'spoil your eyes.'

Food allergy/intolerance was a figment of an over-sensitive imagination. Oh yeah, so younger brother was allowed to have homogenised milk because the ordinary stuff would upset his delicate stomach but they didn't believe that I could possibly get migraine due to just one bar of chocolate.

They didn't believe that I was a bit deaf so I couldn't get hearing aids for years.

Smoking didn't do you any harm.

I recall doing that too, seeing how far up the strand I could split it!

Many of these about microwaves are simply generational, my late MIL would switch every socket to 'off' if there wan't a plug in it otherwise the electricity would leak out!

Crikey..My parents were the same.
Enduring car sickness- It was a joy to go on a school trip and a friend slipped me some Marzine {Rough North Sea Crossing to Oostende} no nausea at all!

Walking off headaches..fresh air.

Definitely no plebby ITV...aaand two baths a week {Thursdays and Sundays}

No sweets or snacks between meals. Ever.

Mr Whippy style ice cream. Scoops of ice cream were fine but they would never, ever buy the Mr Whippy kind for us. It "wasn't real ice cream" apparently.

Also hair conditioner until my American aunt presented me with a bottle of Phillip Kingsley conditioner on a visit and my mum realised it would make brushing my thick, curly hair much easier! I assumed hair conditioner was some exotic product only to be bought in America for quite a long time.

Those introductory ''Dongs ''....Crossroads was SO 🚫 forbidden- as was Magpie.

Zed cars too.

Hair conditioner
Skin care
Tampons - meant your husband to be wouldn't be able to tell if you were a vrgin
Reading books was a lazy way of spending time
I was born in the 60s!

What's her problem with umbrellas?
I've noticed some men seem to find them unmanly, but not sure why your DM would reject them.

Farting was another one - who has made that smell, go to the toilet now my mother would say. My sister and I had a joke between us where we would point at each other and say - it was her. My dad was so different to my mother and he knew what we were doing and sometimes he would say "it was me" which caused us to giggle for ages.

Yes, interesting, isn't it. I suppose it depends what you personally need to process/resolve the experience. If you have outstanding questions about what happened or concerns for the future, or maybe even you expect/want an apology, then I can imagine a formal debrief could be useful. I don't think we need that but in the first few days afterwards DH and I did find it helpful to acknowledge together/with others what exactly had happened and why we were feeling as we did. Now I think we're in a better place as a result and don't feel such a need to keep working through it, or relive it as my DF said.

♥️

Well I don't believe in fabric softener either.

Unnecessary chemical goop.

Wow, mine were really normal and like me by comparison. It took my dad a while to get used to deodorant (but he showered daily) but mostly they were very adaptable to the changing world. The only thing my mother struggled with was the idea of seeking help for her long standing PTSD which related to childhood trauma experienced in WW2. She was perfectly up for other people seeking help with their MH but didn't believe in it for herself.

Thank you x

@Aspergallus

Vaccination! I had a lot of catching up to do when grown!

DF had TB too!

@Gerrataere

'Unholy Meat Custard' sounds like a punk band name! 😂

I am the poster whose mum didn't believe in conditioner.

She doesn't believe in a lot of stuff - no long hair if you're over 30, no jeans over about 40, the internet etc etc etc

One time.

Once!

My m-i-l was aware of someone (a neighbour) who ate a Mr Whippy ice cream, and then a day or 2 later suffered with food poisoning.

My m-i-l is sketchy on the details, so she didn't know anything else about this woman, apart from the fact that (apparently) Mr Whippy ice cream made her ill. 🙄
So, of course Mr Whippy ice creams are never to be countenanced.
This happened about 45 years ago, by the way.

Bathing more than once a week (and showers were the devils work). Hair conditioner. Any skincare other than soap and water (whatever the cheapest soap mother could find). “Current” clothing. I could only have clothes she would have worn at my age. Supporting girls in education - I was (am) clever and was forecast excellent A level results and school expected me to be going to university but it was made clear that I had to be making a financial contribution to her fags the house by the age of 18 so I didn’t even get to finish my A levels.

"I was never allowed a pain killer, even if I had really bad period pain. I once cycled to the shop and bought my own"

This is why I was disgusted to see recently that Boots would only sell paracetamol to over 18s.

Yeh, my mum has had short hair since she was about 28. If my hair ever grew two inches past my collar bone she'd tsk me. She kept trying to ''help'' me with her rudeness about my hair (which wasn't even that long). Eventually I had to tell her that I didn't give any thought to what women her age thought, If I cared what people thought, those people would be people my own age or younger. She was very HURT, but the 3 decades of digs about my long hair was not hurtful or annoying at all!

My mum did not believe in dry cleaning. She said often and loudly that it was a con and that everything could be washed in a machine. So I went home once in my 20s straight from work and took my dry clean only work clothes with me. Yep she washed them in the machine, pressed them and gave them back to me without telling me.... they had all shrunk.