Things your parents didn't believe in

[Aspergallus]

Inspired by the Timotei thread where someone mentioned that their mum didn't believe in hair conditioner, I realised there is actually quite a long list of things my parents didn't believe in that still leave me, at nearly 50 with DC of my own, feeling like I'm being ridiculously extra for doing every day things:

Hair conditioner as above -deemed totally unnecessary, not a real thing, and drain blocking by my parents. I had long, dry curly hair...

Vitamins -I bought my own as a teen as I thought it might help with acne. They behaved like I was shooting up H.

Make up. My mum believed that all make up (but particularly foundation) was the cause of all skin aging and would tell me (when I was wearing it to hide teenage acne) that once I was 40 I would look older than her as a result.

Tampons. Apparently if you used tampons, you'd have to go for a D&C every year or so due to "build up".

Deodorant. Not necessary if you washed apparently. They considered it something dirty people used in lieu of washing.

Sunglasses, especially when driving. Could make you go blind. Like the reading in the dark old wives tale. As a result my mum spend many a summer gardening with no eye protection and got early cataracts. Yet she still looks at me suspiciously, like I might crash, if I put them on to drive on a sunny day.

Contact lenses -seriously dangerous in their view.

Sun block -they were of that generation that used baby oil and encouraged me to do the same because I was so pale and unhealthy.

Changing job -you got one job and stuck with it or your CV would be ruined forever. And they took this literally, expecting me to stick with chambermaiding as a 17 year old. When I was in a professional role and given rotating training -shifting every 6 months, they were horrified. I'd never work again etc.

Hobbies including sport. They simply did not believe in hobbies or interests unless you were going to make it your whole life's devotion, career or it was going to take you to the Olympics. The idea that you might try something out, and not stick with it was outrageous.

I think my parents might have been particularly odd. There are other examples I can't bring myself to say out loud.

Please tell me other people have similar tales of things their parents didn't believe in...

Quite. Isn't Viscount Linley a carpenter?

Deodorant
Shower or bath more than once a week
So yeah, at school I was dirty and smelly and I think other people must have noticed. I feel ashamed now. But I wasn't allowed to use the shower at home so there was nothing I could do.

Blue denim jeans. I have no idea why. Wasn't allowed to wear them. And when I was growing up - late 80s/early 90s - absolutely everyone wore blue jeans so I looked completely out of place. A pair of fucking jeans would have helped to make things a bit better!!

Addressing the fact that I was being bullied at school. To be fair, I think they just didn't know what to do, this was in the 70s and there was something of a "grin and bear it" mentality. It went on for five years.

Washing your hair or having a bath if you had flu/a cold. The humiliation of going into school after 2 weeks of a cold feeling dirty with disgusting greasy hair 🤢

@Aspergallus but I can actually see my split ends. You're looking for those things? Who taught you that you have to give two hoots about them? You're being conned!

My parents don't really believe in allergies. They think it's all made up and "didn't exisit" when they were kids. My mum has shifted slightly as my DD has an autoimmune condition and can't eat certain things. My Dad completely thinks I'm being ridiculous by not feeding DD I the way he thinks I should.

@SafeAsAMouse Split ends definitely exist. I can see mine As above.

Agreed

The disapproval of tampons goes back to them breaking the hymen and therefore 'spoiling virginity'.
My parents were both born pre-war but were quite liberal and tolerant, surprisingly so now I think about it. But needless food waste pissed them off no end.

Praise. I've recently found out my parents had an agreement to never praise us for our achievements. All those wasted years spent trying to please my DF...

Taking time off school/work when sick.
Fresh bath water for each person...

The 'fear of tampons' thing comes from a news story in the 1970s where a firm in the States was making enormous tampons which really did cause TSS cases, some fatal. This led to a popular belief that all tampons were 'dangerous old things'. I remember health scares around aluminium pots, clingfilm or plastics in the microwave and chemicals in deodorant. The irony of that when we were all breathing in leaded petrol fumes and sitting in houses where adults happily smoked around children.

Unconditional love
Affection
Honesty
Integrity

Education - my mum did not put any value on school, qualifications or careers plans. All she wanted was for me and my sister to start earning, she made me have a paper round at 10 years old, I could not carry the bag, I had to drag it.

In date food - my mum used to always buy out of date food and leave it is the fridge for a few more days before cooking it. Everything had to be cheap. Btw, we were not poor, there was plenty of money for decent food, my mum is just very tight.

Keeping fit - my mum thought it was a waste of time and would not let me join any sport teams, she said I had to earn money, hence the paper round.

Violin - I was no allowed to learn this at school as mum did not like it.

Tidy house. - my mum did not work but the house was always a tip, I could never invite friends in as the house was a mess. I used to clean the bathroom in case anyone called by and wanted to use the loo.

To be happy - my mum, like her mum, just wanted life to be hard so they could sit and moan about how bad their life is.

i had a sad childhood.

He's not necessarily wrong on that last point. There was a brief trend for "debriefing" everyone after traumatic experiences but once the data was researched there was no evidence whatsoever that it caused more good than harm.

My mother never told me about periods and I wondered what the hell was happening to me, just small to start with then heavier and I was frightened to death. This was early 1960's so asked a neighbour whose kids we used to play with as my mother wasn't approachable and she explained everything to me and then told my mother she must talk to me. Never spoke about it but she left some leaflets in my bedroom with a note that I must never wash my hair when I had "blood". Years later my much younger sister told me that my mother never speaking to about these things ruined her sex life as my mother told her it was dirty and only for making babies.

Umbrellas. Even now I feel naughty using them.

Kind of the opposite but my parents hated long hair and would keep my hair ear length with lots of haircuts. I now religiously have waist length hair.

Was never allowed crisps, chocolate, McDonald's or anything like that. I now eat far too much.

We were absolutely not allowed play weapons like swords and guns.

bubble bath or shower gel I had to use bar soap to wash - perfectly normal but if I wanted bubbles in the bath I had to use fairy liquid! Just why.

Nah, it was about where they go. Didn't want girls knowing about that place, never mind having their hands anywhere near it.

Also behind a significant amount of compulsory wearing of underwear at night.

@Gerrataere my parents were the opposite regarding university. They suggested we all got a trade. I went to quite a prestigious university through choice and would encourage my children to do the same.

I think it stood me in good ground for life in general. Deadlines without a teacher guiding you, meeting people from lots of different backgrounds, having the motivation and determination to get through it.

I couldn't do what I done (now SAHM with the option to go back in a few years) without a university degree. I don't think there's anything that can compare to a university experience.

Also microwaves as pp they cause cancer because nothing safe could cook food that quick.

My sister and I still laugh and say my mother must have only had sex twice.😁

YES re farts.

Dad let one go in the car once , I giggled {as a child} and was told off.

At least crack a window.

ITV
Packaged foods (I used to dream of trying Smash potato)
Painkillers (most things could be 'walked off' apparently)
Buying presents outside birthdays or Christmas
The Labour party
Pierced ears
Anything that might have treated chronic travel sickness

That was just the contemporary version of 'blame it on Brexit' today, I'm sure every generation has its bogeyman!