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Original poster

My dh hasn’t paid the rent ffs

836 replies

RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 09:33

Soo I’ve just had a call from our letting agent went to voicemail as I was on a call and my fucking husband hasn’t paid the rent for the last 2 months….

The bastard is at work and his phone has been switched off

I don’t have the money to pay it all - I did wonder why he had some extra money

We have separate accounts he pays rent etc I pay other bills it all works out fair

I am so bloody angry I daren’t phone the letting agent back and I’m off to check his emails 😡😡😡

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 10/08/2023 10:16

I’m a landlord op. Please don’t panic. Most landlords will understand if it’s human error, especially as you can prove your dp has had recent bouts of ill health requiring hospital treatment. The letting agent is really also at fault for not having picked up the phone before - not that this will help to point out right now. All you can do is apologise and get this sorted pdq. If the money isn’t there, it’s going to be more annoying for the landlord. But hopefully you can figure something out. I agree with contacting them and blaming human error / illness coupled with emails in junk folder.

ihadamarveloustime · 10/08/2023 10:16

I hope it's just a mistake and it's sorted quickly, OP.

AndyMcFlurry · 10/08/2023 10:18

RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:09

He was in hospital in May (for 2 weeks) and again in July (for 2 weeks)

I need to speak to the letting agent I’ve rang 3 times and not had an answer

Don’t phone them, send an email .

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
thecatsthecats · 10/08/2023 10:19

willWillSmithsmith · 10/08/2023 10:06

Unless he’s completely incapable of organising himself surely all adults with mortgages and rents (and even those without) check their banking on a regular basis? With online banking there is no excuse to not know what’s going on with your account. I can’t imagine any responsible adult not keeping on top of their bank balance/outgoings by doing a regular check online.

Even if there’s a simple explanation you need to be able to know (for a fact) every month that rent has been paid.

I'd say the opposite. With online banking being so seamless, I can see how it would be easier to miss something that happens automatically.

As pp said up thread, a standing order might have been set up for a year, and not roll on. If he has a bills account separate to his income account etc.

I run complex finances for myself, but I have moved jobs and get paid on the 21st, which plays merry hell with my schedule. My husband is a freaking accountant and didn't notice £600 of fraud as it happened when we were moving house and balances were all over the place.

Nobody "wins" if they preemptively foresee that her husband is a fraud. Except those who want to get maximum drama out of the OPs real life...

ladyvivienne · 10/08/2023 10:19

Rent is always on Direct Debit. There's literally no way you could miss 2 months unless the amount bounced - and then they'd call?

caerdydd12 · 10/08/2023 10:21

ladyvivienne · 10/08/2023 10:19

Rent is always on Direct Debit. There's literally no way you could miss 2 months unless the amount bounced - and then they'd call?

Rent is absolutely not always on direct debit. In fact more often than not it's via standing order, which is very different.

willWillSmithsmith · 10/08/2023 10:23

thecatsthecats · 10/08/2023 10:19

I'd say the opposite. With online banking being so seamless, I can see how it would be easier to miss something that happens automatically.

As pp said up thread, a standing order might have been set up for a year, and not roll on. If he has a bills account separate to his income account etc.

I run complex finances for myself, but I have moved jobs and get paid on the 21st, which plays merry hell with my schedule. My husband is a freaking accountant and didn't notice £600 of fraud as it happened when we were moving house and balances were all over the place.

Nobody "wins" if they preemptively foresee that her husband is a fraud. Except those who want to get maximum drama out of the OPs real life...

Show quote history

Maybe it’s because I have to budget within an inch of my life that checking my account and ticking off all the payment gone through that month is a priority to me. I check my accounts once a week, tick off what gone through, note what’s left to go through and calculate what my personal spending limit is that week. I never go more than a week not checking.

readbooksdrinktea · 10/08/2023 10:27

willWillSmithsmith · 10/08/2023 10:23

Maybe it’s because I have to budget within an inch of my life that checking my account and ticking off all the payment gone through that month is a priority to me. I check my accounts once a week, tick off what gone through, note what’s left to go through and calculate what my personal spending limit is that week. I never go more than a week not checking.

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Same here.

Rewis · 10/08/2023 10:27

Tinkerbyebye · 10/08/2023 10:09

Why isn’t it set up as a standing order to automatically go out?

My bank makes it have an end date and I've missed a payment cause it ended without me noticing. I quickly fixed it and landlords didn't Notice (or mention) late payment.

Backstreets · 10/08/2023 10:28

willWillSmithsmith · 10/08/2023 10:23

Maybe it’s because I have to budget within an inch of my life that checking my account and ticking off all the payment gone through that month is a priority to me. I check my accounts once a week, tick off what gone through, note what’s left to go through and calculate what my personal spending limit is that week. I never go more than a week not checking.

Show quote history

Same here. While I'm not surprised people aren't as in control of their finances as me (people with more money don't have to be!) I'm pretty surprised two rents could accumulate without one alarm bell ringing off - but I guess it's not totally unrealistic. Hopefully it's just an honest mistake and DH will also be bricking it as soon as OP gets hold of him.

BarbaraofSeville · 10/08/2023 10:30

Until you speak to him, you've no idea. His phone is off because he's in a meeting, surely that's normal. Many people are out of contact while they're working.

It could be a mistake that he hasn't noticed, not everyone keeps a close eye on their accounts or spends all their money each month.

Just tell the letting agent you'll update them by the end of the week and don't panic until you know if there's something to panic about.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/08/2023 10:30

Do you think he’s done it on purpose? If the emails were unread in his junk folder it sounds like he may not have realised he hadn’t paid. I have done this before, my standing order ran out but I didn’t realise so missed a payment and only realised when my landlord contacted me. I have adhd and am really not on top of things like money/ budgeting so I hadn’t noticed the money hadn’t gone out. On another occasion I paid the rent twice and didn’t notice that either (and my landlord didn’t notify me!), I only realised several months later when I was checking my outgoings for something else that I’d paid twice one month!

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 10:30

readbooksdrinktea · 10/08/2023 10:27

Same here.

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Likewise. Honestly I appreciate not everyone has to monitor their bank accounts so carefully but I'd be genuinely very surprised that someone could have 2 missed payments for such large amounts and not notice or question the extra money even once in 2 months.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 10/08/2023 10:31

RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:09

He was in hospital in May (for 2 weeks) and again in July (for 2 weeks)

I need to speak to the letting agent I’ve rang 3 times and not had an answer

It’s very possible it was a simple mistake and he thought he’d find it but hadn’t.

I pay by DD but if I don’t have enough money in my account it needs to me to do it automatically and so if I don’t get the email then I may presume it’s been taken out.

Its obviously an honest mistake and I’d just ring the landlord and pay what you can out of your money and say you’ll speak to DH when he gets home for the rest.

LadyShimura · 10/08/2023 10:31

I would check with DH first to check they've not made a mistake.

I say this because my letting agents have told me in 2 consecutive months that I havent pain my front, when infact I had and I had an acknowledge of the rent being received.

MortifiedSeptember · 10/08/2023 10:31

I think your dh deserves the benefit of a doubt op. But it is shocking not to have rent paid. My ex was a fraud but I'm happy I gave him the benefit of doubt and let him explain himself to a the breakdown of our marriage. He said such odd excuses. It's still not clear what he spent it on.
I hated when people asked and when I told them the honest truth I don't know. They were not happy.

CapEBarra · 10/08/2023 10:31

How long have you been in the flat? It’s possible that your DP set up a standing charge for 12 months - the length of the lease - and that has now lapsed. Given he has had two significant hospital stays in the last few months also check if he was getting a full salary while on sick leave, because if he wasn’t he may not have been able to afford it. In your situation, OP, and given there are no other red flags, I’d assume an innocent explanation first. If it’s not, then you have a bigger problem.

foulksmills · 10/08/2023 10:33

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 09:44

Sorry I didn't mean you'd notice I meant surely he'd notice.

I mean if you got to the end of the month and suddenly had hundreds left over more than you normally did you'd stop and think hmmm what haven't I paid.

Hence I'm not sure he could just simply argue it was a mistake and he didn't notice.

Show quote history

No, not necessarily. A few years ago my useless lump of a husband decided to start trying to save money. He thought he was a super awesome financial wizard when he had nearly £1,000 saved up in 6 weeks. (I don't know how he thought he'd pulled that off.)

The actual answer was that he'd forgotten to pay the £850 rent. He'd saved about £150 in 6 weeks, not ~£1k.

Original poster
RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:34

Until I speak to him I don’t know what the heck has happened I am calming down a bit now I have a quick temper

He’s normally really on the ball with money! I’m was always the one who forgot to pay a bill until I set up another account and did it that way

OP posts:
Neurodiverseuniverse · 10/08/2023 10:36

@RentNotPaid I know you're angry because its scary, but honestly if your DH doesn't have a history of this kind of thing and is usually reasonably financially sensible then I would take it as a mistake until otherwise proven to be on purpose. From what I understand he is out of his meeting now so fingers crossed you can get in touch with him and clear it up.

butterpuffed · 10/08/2023 10:36

The extra money you have said that he has , OP , could be down to the two stays in hospital rather than rent money . Give him the benefit of the doubt and see what he has to say .

thecatsthecats · 10/08/2023 10:37

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 10:30

Likewise. Honestly I appreciate not everyone has to monitor their bank accounts so carefully but I'd be genuinely very surprised that someone could have 2 missed payments for such large amounts and not notice or question the extra money even once in 2 months.

Show quote history

Possibly the four weeks total he's spent in hospital in that time would go some way to mitigating that surprise though, right? And I can imagine he wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders immediately after discharge either.

ChristmasCrumpet · 10/08/2023 10:38

RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:34

Until I speak to him I don’t know what the heck has happened I am calming down a bit now I have a quick temper

He’s normally really on the ball with money! I’m was always the one who forgot to pay a bill until I set up another account and did it that way

I'm an accountant. DH works in finance. I love budgets. He loves spreadsheets. (We are soooo fucking cool)

Between us, we managed to forget to pay May's nursery bill. £646. That we have to pay every month. And have done for two years. And have never forgotten. And gleefully went out and treated ourselves to some new clothes, and patted ourselves on the back at how "under budget" our expenses had been that month.

It happens to the best of us.

Ohmylovejune · 10/08/2023 10:39

Wait until you've spoken to him.

I used to work in credit collection and there was one bank where it was common to set up standing orders for 12 months. People were always forgetting to renew them.

The agent really should have called you by now. Email nudge a few days after the first missed payment but then they should have been calling to work out the problem.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/08/2023 10:40

he has had some extra money not the rent amount tho! I thought it was his pay rise

Depending on how organised (or not) he usually is, he may have thought the same, and as PPs have said the fact the messages were in "junk" and unread does suggest a mistake

No need to panic yet, OP, or to interrupt his meeting - just contact him when he's out of it and go from there