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Original poster

My dh hasn’t paid the rent ffs

836 replies

RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 09:33

Soo I’ve just had a call from our letting agent went to voicemail as I was on a call and my fucking husband hasn’t paid the rent for the last 2 months….

The bastard is at work and his phone has been switched off

I don’t have the money to pay it all - I did wonder why he had some extra money

We have separate accounts he pays rent etc I pay other bills it all works out fair

I am so bloody angry I daren’t phone the letting agent back and I’m off to check his emails 😡😡😡

OP posts:
FlamingYam · 10/08/2023 10:00

If the emails are in his junk and he doesn't check all his DDs have gone out regularly, he may be as unaware as you were. Probably just thought his money had stretched further than he expected.

That's not a good thing and he needs to be more organised. Perhaps time for a joint bill account or he transfers to you.

Aposterhasnoname · 10/08/2023 10:01

The fact there’s unread emails in his junk mail suggests it’s a mistake. Is it a direct debit payment? If so it’s entirely possible somethings happened with that and he hasn’t noticed.

ConnieTucker · 10/08/2023 10:02

You said he had more money than usual.

how do you know? This would bd key for me

Interested in this thread?

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General money
readbooksdrinktea · 10/08/2023 10:02

I'm surprised how many people don't check their bank accounts.

TwoManyKids · 10/08/2023 10:04

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 09:54

I'm really surprised so many people think it's a simple mistake. Wouldn't you all be genuinely surprised to end the month with a heck of a lot of extra money and not stop and wonder where it came from and why this month you had so much extra?

I once didn't pay my childcare (£500ish) was delighted I'd some how managed to save that money that month...really not sure what I was thinking because it was a substantial payment I made EVERY month...never done it again!

Wenfy · 10/08/2023 10:05

Get more information from the letting agent. Ask them specifically which payments are outstanding and the references that should have been used. Then when DH comes home, tell him what’s happened, and ask to see how he paid them. It could be something as simple as him paying by faster payment or standing order rather than direct debit. Or he could be paying the landlord directly when the letting agent expects it through them.

If after this you discover he has deliberately not been paying then I think you might need to reconsider the marriage.

TwoManyKids · 10/08/2023 10:05

TwoManyKids · 10/08/2023 10:04

I once didn't pay my childcare (£500ish) was delighted I'd some how managed to save that money that month...really not sure what I was thinking because it was a substantial payment I made EVERY month...never done it again!

Show quote history

Did it again.

willWillSmithsmith · 10/08/2023 10:06

Unless he’s completely incapable of organising himself surely all adults with mortgages and rents (and even those without) check their banking on a regular basis? With online banking there is no excuse to not know what’s going on with your account. I can’t imagine any responsible adult not keeping on top of their bank balance/outgoings by doing a regular check online.

Even if there’s a simple explanation you need to be able to know (for a fact) every month that rent has been paid.

Original poster
RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:06

4 emails have been sent from the letting agent all in the junk folder and unread

This is the first time the letting agent has called me.

I am going to call the letting agent in a minute and speak to them.

I know that he has his account which is wages gets paid and his account which his bills come out of it may have just been an over sight which I am not 100% sure about as he has had some extra money not the rent amount tho! I thought it was his pay rise

I know I don’t check my bills account just transfer the money each month on pay day (I always transfer more so I know there is enough in there)

OP posts:
BarbaraV · 10/08/2023 10:06

Wtf? Is he okay?

Wenfy · 10/08/2023 10:06

TwoManyKids · 10/08/2023 10:04

I once didn't pay my childcare (£500ish) was delighted I'd some how managed to save that money that month...really not sure what I was thinking because it was a substantial payment I made EVERY month...never done it again!

Show quote history

DH did this with our mortgage once. After that we paid all bills from the joint account lol

OhComeOnFFS · 10/08/2023 10:06

Doesn't he pay on direct debit?

Wenfy · 10/08/2023 10:08

RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:06

4 emails have been sent from the letting agent all in the junk folder and unread

This is the first time the letting agent has called me.

I am going to call the letting agent in a minute and speak to them.

I know that he has his account which is wages gets paid and his account which his bills come out of it may have just been an over sight which I am not 100% sure about as he has had some extra money not the rent amount tho! I thought it was his pay rise

I know I don’t check my bills account just transfer the money each month on pay day (I always transfer more so I know there is enough in there)

I think it seems like a genuine mistake then. Wait til you hear his explanation before killing him lol

Original poster
RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:09

He was in hospital in May (for 2 weeks) and again in July (for 2 weeks)

I need to speak to the letting agent I’ve rang 3 times and not had an answer

OP posts:
Tinkerbyebye · 10/08/2023 10:09

Why isn’t it set up as a standing order to automatically go out?

calmcoco · 10/08/2023 10:09

willWillSmithsmith · 10/08/2023 10:06

Unless he’s completely incapable of organising himself surely all adults with mortgages and rents (and even those without) check their banking on a regular basis? With online banking there is no excuse to not know what’s going on with your account. I can’t imagine any responsible adult not keeping on top of their bank balance/outgoings by doing a regular check online.

Even if there’s a simple explanation you need to be able to know (for a fact) every month that rent has been paid.

You don't need to 'imagine' you just need to accept the known reality that many people don't reconcile their accounts.

People are all very different.

We mostly learn our money habits from observing our parents. If they were not checkers, the habit is not established.

I check mine, because my father checked his, because his mother checked hers...

MiniCooperLover · 10/08/2023 10:09

If he's at work in a 'big meeting' is there any chance his job is at risk and that's why he's not been paying? Hope you get some answers soon.

Original poster
RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:10

I thought it was a standing order - but can’t access his bank accounts

OP posts:
L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 10:10

I know I don’t check my bills account just transfer the money each month on pay day (I always transfer more so I know there is enough in there)

Snap! That’s me to a T and perhaps your DH as well. I check maybe every 3-4months so I’d have no idea if a standing order failed for one or two months.

readbooksdrinktea · 10/08/2023 10:10

Tinkerbyebye · 10/08/2023 10:09

Why isn’t it set up as a standing order to automatically go out?

Yes, this. It's so much easier.

caerdydd12 · 10/08/2023 10:11

When you initially set up a standing order some banks default to "continue until stopped" and others default to 12 months. So on month 13 the standing order doesn't go out. It's an easy mistake to make if you have a separate bills account you don't check often. It's entirely possible the money's just sat there in the bills account and the standing order has expired.

L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 10:12

Tinkerbyebye · 10/08/2023 10:09

Why isn’t it set up as a standing order to automatically go out?

It should be, but not everyone put them on indefinite especially when it comes to rent. Most will set it for a year-usual length of tenancy agreement because the rent will go up and that’s a reminder to do a new standing order with new rent amount.

theemmadilemma · 10/08/2023 10:13

I'm still learning to be an adult with money at 47 shockingly.

And I did a fuck up recently where I had a payrise, and didn't notice a personal bill hadn't been paid, and didn't click about the additional money until a month later because I still wasn't watching my money closely enough to realise I had more extra than I should have.

So it could be an error... I can see how it might happen. But if that's the case you need to put something in place to ensure this never happens again. Joint bill account or something.

TidyDancer · 10/08/2023 10:13

RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 10:09

He was in hospital in May (for 2 weeks) and again in July (for 2 weeks)

I need to speak to the letting agent I’ve rang 3 times and not had an answer

The hospital info does make a difference to this I think. Life and routine being a bit up and down can throw things significantly. It's (presumably) a lot of extra money though for him to not notice something was going on!

Hummusanddipdip · 10/08/2023 10:14

If he's not got form for this and the emails are in junk, I'd be prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt that he's probably not noticed the payments have failed.
The extra money could be a red herring and it genuinely is his payrise.

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