Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My dh hasn’t paid the rent ffs

836 replies

RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 09:33

Soo I’ve just had a call from our letting agent went to voicemail as I was on a call and my fucking husband hasn’t paid the rent for the last 2 months….

The bastard is at work and his phone has been switched off

I don’t have the money to pay it all - I did wonder why he had some extra money

We have separate accounts he pays rent etc I pay other bills it all works out fair

I am so bloody angry I daren’t phone the letting agent back and I’m off to check his emails 😡😡😡

OP posts:
L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 09:48

It might be an oversight. The standing order could have run out and he forgot to renew. The OP has said the letting agent emails went to his junk folder, so he likely thought it was still being paid.

Id wait until he is out of the meeting and let him know the situation. I’m assuming OP has married an adult who usually pays his bills and this is a one off situation.

Original poster
RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 09:49

They weren’t read emails

OP posts:
WeAreTheHeroes · 10/08/2023 09:51

It sounds like a mistake, e.g. a standing order which has lapsed and with the emails going to a junk folder your DH hasn't realised or known he needed to put it right.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
calmcoco · 10/08/2023 09:51

I would assume an error until I had spoken to him.

Send the agent an email to say thank you for calling, the emails had gone to spam, you will be in touch as soon as you have spoken to your bank to find out what has happened, probably tomorrow.

Then go to meditate for ten minutes to help your blood pressure as you've had a shock. Anything that threatens your home is frightening.

Proudgypsy · 10/08/2023 09:51

Has he had a new card?

WannaBeRecluse · 10/08/2023 09:52

Before reaching any conclusions you need to hear from him first. It might be something that can be fixed straight away with an apology the the LL. If there's something else going on, then you'll have to respond accordingly. For now though, hope for the best. I'd be calling him at work via the front desk if he's not able to answer his phone.

L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 09:52

So the emails were in junk, he hadn’t read them
He doesn’t have form for this as youve said and you’re shocked by it

Likely a one off error on his part that he’s unaware of and once you make him aware he’ll pay the arrears off with no harm done. We all make mistakes.

calmcoco · 10/08/2023 09:52

Who would you call in an emergency to get through to him, I'd be calling them asap this is more important than his big meeting! Don't do this, he will be out of the meeting soon enough.

Don't escalate the drama.

Clefable · 10/08/2023 09:53

Is it very out of character, OP? If this happened to us, a mistake would be my first thought as it would be incredibly unlike DH to do that as he's very careful with money. Does the fact you instantly assume it's purposeful suggest he has form for being unreliable?

WeAreTheHeroes · 10/08/2023 09:53

OP I know this is potentially serious but going in all guns blazing with your DH is likely to have him on the defensive. If something is amiss rather than an oversight he's not going to tell you in those circumstances.

AndyMcFlurry · 10/08/2023 09:54

Email ( DONT PHONE ) the letting agent, apologise , tell him it’s a mistake , you are dealing with it and one of you will be in touch tomorrow to update them.

The thing that will worry them most is getting no reply to their messages. Whereas if you email they can reassure the landlord that they are in dealing with it.

the worse thing is to just ignore them.

Stop trying to get hold of your husband at work if he’s in a meeting. If he knows about the rent being unpaid then he will just avoid you. If he doesn’t know ( genuine mistake etc ) he will be upset and angry at you. Even though it’s his fault.

If you are two months behind then a few more hours won’t make a difference. Wait until you husband gets home and have a very serious talk.

In the meantime do a lot more detective work in his emails.

AndyMcFlurry · 10/08/2023 09:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 09:54

I'm really surprised so many people think it's a simple mistake. Wouldn't you all be genuinely surprised to end the month with a heck of a lot of extra money and not stop and wonder where it came from and why this month you had so much extra?

WeAreTheHeroes · 10/08/2023 09:55

calmcoco · 10/08/2023 09:51

I would assume an error until I had spoken to him.

Send the agent an email to say thank you for calling, the emails had gone to spam, you will be in touch as soon as you have spoken to your bank to find out what has happened, probably tomorrow.

Then go to meditate for ten minutes to help your blood pressure as you've had a shock. Anything that threatens your home is frightening.

Sound advice.

Heyhoherewegoagain · 10/08/2023 09:55

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 09:47

Not ridiculous at all!

Is there any way you can contact him at work e.g a main reception or PA??

Who would you call in an emergency to get through to him, I'd be calling them asap this is more important than his big meeting!

Show quote history

It’s not more important the potentially couple of hours in a meeting in the job which should actually pay the rent! Calm down!

WannaBeRecluse · 10/08/2023 09:55

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 09:54

I'm really surprised so many people think it's a simple mistake. Wouldn't you all be genuinely surprised to end the month with a heck of a lot of extra money and not stop and wonder where it came from and why this month you had so much extra?

I'd just be prepared to not panic until I've had a chance to hear from him. Until I know there's a real issue and not just a mistake here, I'd try to stay calm.

UndercoverCop · 10/08/2023 09:56

I don't understand how you can't notice you haven't paid your rent for two months (him not you), surely you'd notice you had a significant amount of extra cash in your bank account?! A smaller bill I can understand, my friend realised recently she hasn't been paying her car tax, she pays direct debit and something had gone wrong but that's about £12 a month and the email had gone to junk

WeAreTheHeroes · 10/08/2023 09:56

@YourNameGoesHere - we none of us know how her DH operates his finances. Maybe he never looks at his balance and just spends until he gets a warning notification that he's overdrawn.

dontgobaconmyheart · 10/08/2023 09:56

Would anyone here honestly not notice that the rent or mortgage hadn't come out of their current account for one or even two successive months? How? Surely it's such a large amount it would be impossible to miss and surely it's the norm to regularly look at your finances.

Are you on the rental agreement OP? Why does it not come out by standing order? If you're on the agreement I would be rethinking your financial arrangement with him. I'd not have a careless (or even outright selfish DP) destroying my credit rating or risking my home and would want full accesses to household finances or would prefer to live alone.

I'd be interested to see what he has to say. Frankly I can't see on what planet he doesn't know, though he may well plead ignorance he has visibly had more spending money. I hope he's prepared to return anything he's bought and commit to getting it sorted but this would be a huge issue for me.

calmcoco · 10/08/2023 09:56

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 09:54

I'm really surprised so many people think it's a simple mistake. Wouldn't you all be genuinely surprised to end the month with a heck of a lot of extra money and not stop and wonder where it came from and why this month you had so much extra?

The reality is many people do not reconcile their accounts.

I do, but many people do not.

Proudgypsy · 10/08/2023 09:58

Why are people suggesting interrupting a work meeting. I'd be really annoyed if someone called my job and it wasn't an emergency.

What difference does it make if she talks to him right now Vs after the meeting? None at all.

WannaBeRecluse · 10/08/2023 09:58

We once missed one rent payment. We had no idea until the LL called us 3 months later to let us know. We just didn't watch that account that closely and it looked like everything was okay. It was just one payment though, not two months worth.

L3ThirtySeven · 10/08/2023 09:59

YourNameGoesHere · 10/08/2023 09:54

I'm really surprised so many people think it's a simple mistake. Wouldn't you all be genuinely surprised to end the month with a heck of a lot of extra money and not stop and wonder where it came from and why this month you had so much extra?

Not always because I have different accounts. I have a bill paying account and a daily spending money account. I don’t check the bill paying account that often. The money for bills goes in and I set it at more than the standing orders going out, so it’s on autopilot. I check it every few months and siphon of any extras for savings.

In chatting with other people, I’m not the only one to have this sort of set up.

Original poster
RentNotPaid · 10/08/2023 09:59

His meeting will be finished at 10.30 ish

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 10/08/2023 10:00

I very rarely look at my bank balance, just presume there’s money in there so this is the kind of thing that could happen to me.
But surely they would have phoned before 2 months of missed payments?

Swipe left for the next trending thread