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Original poster

DD took morning after pill then had sex again!

244 replies

Yepyepye · 09/08/2023 18:27

Is there a chance she could get pregnant? She absolutely does not want to be pregnant but for some reason thought that taking MAP once would protect her from all unplanned pregnancies this cycle. She is in a right state. She's 18 and her boyfriend is lovely (also 18); they both agree they are too young for parenthood. She would have an abortion if she was pregnant but would obviously rather not have to go through this. The unprotected sex (apparently the condom fell off) happened only a few days after her period finished, so she took it at the most effective time from what I can tell. She's now coming up to when her period would normally be due but has been told it might be late. She had unprotected sex the second time about 2 weeks after the first time / after she took the MAP.
I can't find out if Levonelle stops ovulation entirely or just delays it, different websites saying different things, so I don't know what to say to her!

I could weep with the stress!

Thank you

OP posts:
FreeRider · 09/08/2023 21:59

@oakleaffy Neither of my parents ever mentioned contraception to either myself or my two brothers. The assumption was that as we were 'good Catholic children' we wouldn't be having pre-marital sex.

Of course they were very wrong about that...but the lasting hangover from that attitude meant that at nearly 55 I've still never discussed contraception with my mother.

Supersimkin2 · 09/08/2023 22:08

After a while you can’t take MAP cos it’s not very good for you.

A certain minority of ‘adorably ditsy’ women rely on it, risking/losing their fertility.

Behaviour that isn’t a guarantee for endless sympathy.

Hocuspocusnonsense · 09/08/2023 22:22

Wow let’s remember they’re both only 18! And we’re all reading this with the wisdom of being much older!

OP I hope they get away with it this time. I remember being 18 and being equally reckless. I think your DD should review her contraception options after this, it doesn’t seem condoms are the best option.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1st trimester Families General pregnancy Women's health
Ghosttofu99 · 09/08/2023 22:24

If she’s struggled with working out the map then she might struggle with remembering to take/understanding the pill. Maybe she should try something longer lasting like the injection or implant until she is a bit more mature. Obviously each option has different pros and cons to weight up.

Thatboymum · 09/08/2023 22:34

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Aquaphant · 09/08/2023 22:35

Supersimkin2 · 09/08/2023 22:08

After a while you can’t take MAP cos it’s not very good for you.

A certain minority of ‘adorably ditsy’ women rely on it, risking/losing their fertility.

Behaviour that isn’t a guarantee for endless sympathy.

What absolute nonsense! That's not true at all. It's basically a strong dose of the same hormones as in birth control pills. It's fine.

Unsure01 · 09/08/2023 23:06

I stopped reading after page 1 but i just had to write this post to say how disgusting the comments are. Some very mean and judgmental people on this thread that were very clearly never taught manners growing up!

@Yepyepye I hope you have found the information you needed to help your daughter! You must be doing a fabulous job as she trusts you to help her in this situation 😊 keep it up mamma!

Namddf · 09/08/2023 23:07

FindMeAttractiveDoYou · 09/08/2023 18:51

Can we just fuck off with the mean comments? I hate the nasty comments about a teenager barely an adult. Adult women in their 30s do silly mistakes like this but of course on MN we love to get on our high and mighty horse.

Yes she could get pregnant and needs 2 methods of contraception to be safe in the future condom + and something else reliable.

I agree. The vitriol on this thread is disgusting.

If it’s so ‘idiotic’ to make slip ups like this why are there so many unwanted pregnancies each year? It’s not just 18-year-olds who make mistakes.

High horse is very unattractive.

ASoapImpressionOfHisWifeWhichHeAte · 09/08/2023 23:13

As others have said, if the second unprotected sex was very recently she could get a coil put in as emergency contraception. Two birds, one stone.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/08/2023 23:43

Supersimkin2 · 09/08/2023 22:08

After a while you can’t take MAP cos it’s not very good for you.

A certain minority of ‘adorably ditsy’ women rely on it, risking/losing their fertility.

Behaviour that isn’t a guarantee for endless sympathy.

How can you lose your firtility from the map?!? I've taken it loads of times and get pregnant v easily

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/08/2023 23:47

So lovely that she can come to you for help at this age I couldn't have with my mum at her age (or now!)

I saw a quote recently which was when my children mess up I want them to think 'let's call mum she'll know what to do' and not 'let's make sure mum doesn't find up'

You've nailed it!

What ever happens she'll be ok with support from a fab mum like you.

I've also made my period 15 days late before my obsessing over it so that might happen too x

Escapetofrance · 09/08/2023 23:53

It’s lovely that your dd is open with you about these things.

I was in my mid 30’s and accidentally got pregnant despite taking the morning after pill. I have a post graduate degree, married with two children already and then this happened. Unplanned pregnancies happen. Your dd is young & has made a mistake -she not the first and won’t be the last.
I hope that whatever the outcome, all will be well. Don’t be too hard on her or yourself.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/08/2023 00:00

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/08/2023 23:43

How can you lose your firtility from the map?!? I've taken it loads of times and get pregnant v easily

Show quote history

Loads of times? It’s not supposed to be used as contraception you know.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/08/2023 00:09

OP, I can’t understand why she wasn’t told by whoever gave her the MAP about sorting some permanent method of contraception. Or why she didn’t read the information leaflet that comes with it. It’s very comprehensive.

but let’s say she’s silly enough not to have educated herself about the medication that she put in her body. You’d think that the shock of it all would have put her off having sex for the rest of her cycle until she’s at least had a period and could relax knowing she wasn’t pregnant (and even then I would have been doing a test to make sure)

my boyfriend would not have been coming near me again till I was certain 100% that I was not already pregnant and that there was no possibility of me becoming pregnant.

so the fact that they had sex so soon after that scare suggests that a) it may not have been the big scare that you’re assuming it was for her, because she might be liking the idea of a cute baby, or b) the boyfriend pressured her into having sex the second time. Im fact I would really be concerned that they had not used condoms at all on either occasion and that hr had made some lame excuse about pulling out before he came or that condoms made it less enjoyable for him. Or some nonsense. Please check that she hasn’t been pressured into going along with totally unprotected sex.

Original poster
Yepyepye · 10/08/2023 00:36

FreeRider · 09/08/2023 21:55

I had a pregnancy scare when I was just 18, with the first boyfriend I had full sex with. I was so daft I didn't even try getting the morning pill afterwards ... and then didn't have a period for about 3 months! I thought I would go crazy with the worry...and there was no way on Earth I could tell my mother (Catholic, and 37 years later I'm still sure she thinks I was a virgin on my wedding day 🙄)

I'd already known for years that I didn't want children, so without hesitation I made up my mind that I would have an abortion if I was...once that was settled in my mind and I became less frantic my period started a week later...to this day I'm sure the stress I put myself under had helped delay it!

I'd like to add that in later years when I took the morning after pill, it was NEVER said to me by the 4 different pharmacists that I got it from that if I was in the later stages of my cycle and had probably ovulated that there was no point in taking it...I was never asked at what point in my cycle I was. I only learnt that a couple of years ago when I read it on Mumsnet!

My period was always at least a week late after taking the MAP. I do agree with previous posters to get your daughter to do a test on the day she would usually be due. She's so lucky she has you to turn to.

Thanks to all the people who've left helpful comments and also to people who've deleted what must have been really vile posts.

I am glad DD came to me especially as there was no way I could've gone to my mother in these circumstances!

I was not aware of how the MAP worked either; I didn't know it delays ovulation or doesn't work if taken after ovulation's happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yepyepye · 10/08/2023 00:39

If it turns out she is pregnant, what is the risk of an ectopic pregnancy?

I genuinely don't think that DD is accidentally on purpose trying to get pregnant although it might seem this way. She's been quite clear about this.

OP posts:
powerpufff · 10/08/2023 01:05

I hope it all goes well for her, it is a stressful situation... she should be on a regular form of contraception to really enjoy her life without worrying
If they are not responsible condoms will not work for them and the pill is a hassle considering you need to take it everyday
What about the arm implant or coil? The myrena coil seems to be quite good as it releases hormones locally and it makes periods less painful
I used the Evra patch for 7 years ( brilliant! I would put a new one on every sunday for 3 weeks then have my 'period')
Go to the sex clinic with her and look at some options with the nurse

powerpufff · 10/08/2023 01:08

Yepyepye · 10/08/2023 00:39

If it turns out she is pregnant, what is the risk of an ectopic pregnancy?

I genuinely don't think that DD is accidentally on purpose trying to get pregnant although it might seem this way. She's been quite clear about this.

If she decides on the coil they will wait for her to test before fitting a coil ... as it could cause ectopic pregnancy
I hope she will be ok!

saraclara · 10/08/2023 08:52

Congratulations on having a DD who can talk to you about this. I could never have talked to my mum about this kind of thing, and though intelligent, I was a stunningly naive 18 year old.
I love my daughters, they love me too and have tried to be a much better mum to them, but I'm a bit of an introvert and I don't think they would confide in me in these circumstances either, if I'm honest.

So yes, ignore the people who've forgotten what it was to be 18 and think they were as 'on it' back then as they are now.

Original poster
Yepyepye · 10/08/2023 10:42

saraclara · 10/08/2023 08:52

Congratulations on having a DD who can talk to you about this. I could never have talked to my mum about this kind of thing, and though intelligent, I was a stunningly naive 18 year old.
I love my daughters, they love me too and have tried to be a much better mum to them, but I'm a bit of an introvert and I don't think they would confide in me in these circumstances either, if I'm honest.

So yes, ignore the people who've forgotten what it was to be 18 and think they were as 'on it' back then as they are now.

Thank you x
I can't believe some of the comments and how nasty they are.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yepyepye · 10/08/2023 10:44

Unsure01 · 09/08/2023 23:06

I stopped reading after page 1 but i just had to write this post to say how disgusting the comments are. Some very mean and judgmental people on this thread that were very clearly never taught manners growing up!

@Yepyepye I hope you have found the information you needed to help your daughter! You must be doing a fabulous job as she trusts you to help her in this situation 😊 keep it up mamma!

Thank you. I am trying my hardest to be supportive and DD has done what she thought she should have done, yes she has been really daft but there is no need to be calling her names or calling for her to be sterilised (!!) X

OP posts:
Batalax · 10/08/2023 10:51

Fingers crossed for her

justme2022 · 10/08/2023 11:08

If we sterilised every 18 year old that did something stupid relating to sex we would very quickly die out.
They were daft, they know it and hopefully she's not pregnant and it's a cheap life lesson learnt.
Best wishes you your daughter OP.

GoodChat · 10/08/2023 11:27

Yepyepye · 10/08/2023 00:39

If it turns out she is pregnant, what is the risk of an ectopic pregnancy?

I genuinely don't think that DD is accidentally on purpose trying to get pregnant although it might seem this way. She's been quite clear about this.

There's no proven increase in risk of an ectopic pregnancy after taking MAP so hopefully that'll put your mind at rest a little

mandlerparr · 10/08/2023 17:57

Can you both look around to see if she can find a long acting birth control, like an arm implant or IUD? If she is going to be having regular sex with a committed partner, it would be best as long as she is able.

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