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Original poster

DD took morning after pill then had sex again!

244 replies

Yepyepye · 09/08/2023 18:27

Is there a chance she could get pregnant? She absolutely does not want to be pregnant but for some reason thought that taking MAP once would protect her from all unplanned pregnancies this cycle. She is in a right state. She's 18 and her boyfriend is lovely (also 18); they both agree they are too young for parenthood. She would have an abortion if she was pregnant but would obviously rather not have to go through this. The unprotected sex (apparently the condom fell off) happened only a few days after her period finished, so she took it at the most effective time from what I can tell. She's now coming up to when her period would normally be due but has been told it might be late. She had unprotected sex the second time about 2 weeks after the first time / after she took the MAP.
I can't find out if Levonelle stops ovulation entirely or just delays it, different websites saying different things, so I don't know what to say to her!

I could weep with the stress!

Thank you

OP posts:
GotMooMilk · 09/08/2023 18:55

If she hasn’t had unprotected sex in the last 5 days you all just need to cross your fingers and do a pregnancy test 3 weeks after the last episode of sex.
Sounds like you have a very open relationship so sit down with her and give her a proper birds and the bees talk. Go through her options (Sexwise, The Lowdown and the Brook website) all good for going through different contraception methods.
Empower her don’t shame her. Get this month out the way and start afresh.
And yes to smaller size condom, also advise use lube.

Original poster
Yepyepye · 09/08/2023 18:56

I agree she has been extremely foolish and I have no idea why she thought this. I don't think she saw the logic that if this crazy reasoning of hers worked then women would just take one monthly morning after pill instead of taking it daily. Some of the sources seem to say it stops ovulation but is that not the case?

I have tried to be as open and honest with her as possible as I was raised in an extremely conservative, religious culture (no way would I have told my mum anything like this) and we are still in touch with family who are very devout. I don't know if somehow this cultural influence has impacted on her in some way. I agree she is too immature to be having sex but I can't stop her - she is literally an adult (just).

OP posts:
CandleWick4 · 09/08/2023 18:57

Jesus what’s with the horrible comments! She’s 18. Did none of you ever do anything daft. She has made a mistake. We all make them. She’s young and she’ll learn and quite frankly OP if I was you I would be very proud of the fact that she has felt able to come to you for help and with such honesty about something like this.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1st trimester Families General pregnancy Women's health
cancan678 · 09/08/2023 18:59

18 year olds so stupid things. Hopefully she's not pregnant and this is "cheap learning" for her. Encourage her to take a test as soon as possible then sort out some more reliable contraception

TeaKitten · 09/08/2023 19:02

https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/sexual/a8240/levonelle-one-step-levonorgestrel/

this explains that it’s not fully understood how it works OP, but that if she does become pregnant in this cycle it may be more likely to be ectopic so if her period is late keep an eye on that. It’s great she’s mature enough to talk to you about her mistake, but it can have serious repercussions for her health so she needs to take her sexual health seriously right now.

Levonelle one step (levonorgestrel)

Levonelle one step is commonly known as 'the morning after pill'. It can be bought without a prescription from pharmacies.

https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/sexual/a8240/levonelle-one-step-levonorgestrel/

crostini · 09/08/2023 19:08

Can't believe how nasty the comments are here. She's a young woman. We dont all just get to 18 and become mature adults. Its a process. And no you can't sanction which adults can have sex based on who you think is mature enough.

MsRosley · 09/08/2023 19:26

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Though I agree with you about the mean comments, calling women 'owd (old?) miserable bitches' is both ageist and misogynistic. Perhaps you could be a bit less hypocritical?

Anytips22 · 09/08/2023 19:26

I think it is great that your daughter can and does talk to you about sex. There is no way I would have been able to do this with my mum. I think the harsh comments about your daughter on here are totally unacceptable. She is 18 and has made mistakes that are obviously worrying her greatly. I would encourage her to go to a sexual health clinic and get some solid advice and then hopefully she will feel empowered to make informed decisions surrounding contraception.

FoodFann · 09/08/2023 19:37

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Riapia · 09/08/2023 19:45

Now may be the time to warn her that it is possible to get pregnant even if she has sex standing up.

GoodChat · 09/08/2023 19:45

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At the point of any potential abortion, there's no baby to be concerned about. Just a clump of cells.

CandleWick4 · 09/08/2023 19:49

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Absolutely behave

Kernsworld · 09/08/2023 19:49

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Of course no one wants to go through an abortion. It’s just unpleasant and worse when you know it could have been avoided.

But abortions are not immoral. Finding them hard but still having one is not immoral.

Notamum12345577 · 09/08/2023 19:49

Dacadactyl · 09/08/2023 18:47

She's not mature enough to be having sex. Particularly not if she's felt the need to go running to you about it all now

So you don’t think an 18 year old should be comfortable enough to talk to their mum about concerns like this?

Notamum12345577 · 09/08/2023 19:52

Riapia · 09/08/2023 19:45

Now may be the time to warn her that it is possible to get pregnant even if she has sex standing up.

But she can’t if she does it in the bath

CandleWick4 · 09/08/2023 19:53

Notamum12345577 · 09/08/2023 19:52

But she can’t if she does it in the bath

Show quote history

Are you really grown women saying these things about an 18 year old. Absolutely gross

MCOut · 09/08/2023 19:55

I don’t think pp have been too harsh. There is no excuse for anybody who has been through recent schooling to have made this mistake. I’m almost certain this would’ve also been reiterated in the medication leaflet had she bothered to read it.

Seasidechippylover · 09/08/2023 19:59

God some of these comments are cunty as fuck. Can you not be so rude?

Rupiduti · 09/08/2023 19:59

Wow I can't believe some of these comments. How awful. Blaming the young girl when it is in fact both of them.

Also stop with the 'go on the pill' rubbish. It is perfectly OK not to want to put something in to our bodies if we don't want to. That doesn't mean that we can't have sex. My boyfriend and I have always used condoms and have never had one fall off. Perhaps her boyfriend needs to find one that fits better.

Wisenotboring · 09/08/2023 20:02

She could be. I would also say that whatever your view on the ethics of abortion, it can be a significant, emotionally difficult journey for a couple (now or in the future) so I would be strongly encouraging her to consider a more reliable form of contraception such as the implant. The best thing to do would be for her and her boyfriend to phone a pharmacy and get some proper medical advice.

UndercoverCop · 09/08/2023 20:03

Yes she could be pregnant, she will need to test if her period is late.
It might be an idea for her to book an appointment at a family planning clinic so she can get some good advice about contraceptive options and make her choice about her ongoing protection then, she might be open to hormonal contraception and something like the injection or implant are less reliant on regularly remembering to take a pill, or she might want to consider copper coil or how to effectively use condoms.
Good work developing that open non judgemental relationship OP, it's such a positive she can talk to you. You must have an excellent poker face!

incognito50me · 09/08/2023 20:16

I agree, it's great she can talk to you. We were in a similar situation not too long ago and I stressed to my DD that each instance of MAP works, if it does, only for the instance of unprotected sex that preceded it.
Have her sort out protection going forward, preferably of two kinds.

Saywhanow · 09/08/2023 20:17

Pretty sure the OP doesn't need a load of daughter bashing. Ranting about how stupid it was doesn't change the situation.

OP, ultimately, you won't know until she's due on and can take a test. All you can do is take it day by day and have a box of pregnancy tests in. There's nothing else you can do. All you can say to her is - it's done now, we have to just sit tight and wait. No point right now discussing abortions and whatnot you could be working yourself and her up about a situation that hasn't happened.

You're just going to have to wait it out and see.

If she is pregnant, the best thing you could do is take her to an impartial advisory group that can talk her through her options and help her reach a decision in an unbiased way.

But like I say, you can only cross that bridge if you get there.

It's not actually that easy to fall pregnant, the timing needs to be right, the egg needs to attach, there's a whole bunch of stuff that has to happen. So one accident in a month is not the same as actively trying (or totally throwing caution to the wind). Of course people do fall accidentally pregnant but it's a probability chance now and the probability is on the lower end of the scale.

Hold your nerve, tell her to do the same. Wait till she's due on, test and if she isn't breath a sigh of relief and then have a conversation about proper contraception. If she is pregnant - you'll just have to face it down together with her.

Getting angry, distraught, ranting etc won't achieve anything.

Pudmyboy · 09/08/2023 20:18

GotMooMilk · 09/08/2023 18:55

If she hasn’t had unprotected sex in the last 5 days you all just need to cross your fingers and do a pregnancy test 3 weeks after the last episode of sex.
Sounds like you have a very open relationship so sit down with her and give her a proper birds and the bees talk. Go through her options (Sexwise, The Lowdown and the Brook website) all good for going through different contraception methods.
Empower her don’t shame her. Get this month out the way and start afresh.
And yes to smaller size condom, also advise use lube.

This is excellent advice, well worth repeating. Sexwise is a very good easy to use site.
She is in her most fertile years so definitely needs to settle on a reliable method.
Does their local GUM clinic offer contraception? They can both go along (they won't be seen together for confidentiality reasons): she to discuss contraception and he to have a condom demonstration. They offer a range of sizes, all free so it would be well worth it

FuckNuggets · 09/08/2023 20:22

FindMeAttractiveDoYou · 09/08/2023 18:51

Can we just fuck off with the mean comments? I hate the nasty comments about a teenager barely an adult. Adult women in their 30s do silly mistakes like this but of course on MN we love to get on our high and mighty horse.

Yes she could get pregnant and needs 2 methods of contraception to be safe in the future condom + and something else reliable.

Once, I would completely agree with you. But, twice in 2 weeks? FGS!

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