How late is your 11 year old DD allowed out in town?

[InterferingOutsider]

DD has an activity that finishes at 6pm. Allowing 10 mins to change, walk to bus stop, bus at 615. 15 mins to main station, wait at station until 650 when bus home leaves (although bus usually there by 645).

Would you be happy to let your 11 year old DD do this alone each week?

Is your DH driving to work? Any option for him to use public transport to leave you the car? Or anyone else who could take her to their house and he picks up a bit later?

You say next year she will finish at 7.30. Will your DH still not be able to pick her up then?

The wait at the bus station concerns me most. I don't particularly like waiting at them in the dark as an adult.

It's a few years back now and I have a boy rather than a girl - but I'm pretty sure I would have collected him from any activity or friends house in the evening until he was much older - 15 maybe - unless he was literally just walking up from the bus stop or a friend's round the corner . Perhaps a bit later in the summer when it is still light .

Really? Because we’re talking about an 11 year old girl. Does that help clarify the reference to girls?

And much more recently..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-61506642.amp

Absolutely no way . Never . Nada. Nope

I think I the situation that @LizaTarbuckForQueen describes is probably not what most people would want for their own DC. But @coreas - what an odd, rude response .

@InterferingOutsider did you post this a couple of months back, I have defintely read this before in which case you had a tonne of responses sayi g the same as this one.

11 is too young to travel back in the dark let alone with changes. It's not the same as travelling during school time as there are a load of other students too, your not even talking about rush hour when people are travelling back from work.

No

Absolutely no.

Get her to stay at the sport facility until DH can go and collect her, that is your only option really. She can do her homework or read a book.

No. Not a chance. DD2 is 11, very sensible, I'm happy to leave her at home for however long. But fighting off potential rapists at 11? Fuck no. If that's what resilience means you can stick it

No I wouldn't let her mainly because I've had too many experiences myself on public transport with dodgy men that I wouldn't want her exposed to.

I pick her up from all activities unless it's one she does with a friend and it's daytime and she can walk or get the bus back.

I'm not particularly a helicopter parent but I'm definitely conscious of her safety. I had similar rules for ds but I'm more wary for Dd unfortunately.

No.

No way.
Far too young.
Far too vulnerable.

Op says she is selling her car. Funny that you think those of us that don't drive have hundreds of pounds of surplus income though

You haven't given much detail about your daughter. Year 6 or year 7? Much independence already? Do you live in a city? Does she take public transport regularly anyway? What has she said when you've talked about this?

I wouldn't like the wait at the station, I'd probably say stay longer at the activity and take the later bus but don't know if missing the 6:50 bus would then be a risk. OK, no one lives near you but is there anyone who could take her to the 6:50 bus? What about a taxi just for that part? If someone bothered her on the first bus or the walk, they then have a lot of opportunity to continue that versus the single bus home option.

I did something not too dissimilar in year 7, but across London and I was a hardened London child used to travelling alone on public transport. My DC travel on tube and bus from school in year 7, so do many of their friends though, so sometimes they are alone but also often with a friend. School sport activity means they have been travelling around a similar length of time about 6pm since year 7. I'd want her to be 12-13 to allow this.

Don't know why people are mentioning Millie Dowler, girls and women of all ages have been taken off the street by strangers. You can be 45 in broad daylight and experience this.

Well good for you, sadly the stranger following and pestering me in the street at 17, didn't take no for an answer.

Can she stay at the training until either one of you can collect her? Maybe she can watch the others? Or read?

DD has just finished Yr 7 and comfortablly uses public transport across London. I wouldn't be concerned with using public transport or it being dark (it's dark when she travels home from school in winter anyway). But I wouldn't be keen on 2 changes and long waits. She's thinking about doing a class that finishes at 6pm, and is on a direct bus, and I'll be fine with her doing that, though she'll be 12 then and I might pick her up by bus for the autumn term.

My daughter has been doing these type of journeys on her own since she was about 11.

I would not be comfortable with this arrangement. I think it is the waiting at the station for the second bus which I would be more anxious about, plus the dark nights when these return.

@Singleandproud no, I don't remember posting about it before. I did ask a couple of friends, one said yes, one said no! I know it's the age when they're starting to be allowed to go places alone, a couple of classmates have gone into the city for an afternoon, one now goes to activity alone - but that's on the bus out to another village, not changing.

She has travelled on public transport, but only with me except for her other sport once or twice when I had to be somewhere with other DC. That's on the bus into the city though so no changes or waiting.

There is a world of difference between going into the city mid afternoon with a friend and taking two buses and waiting at a bus station in the dark, alone.

You are putting her at risk if you press ahead with this, and you seem quite determined to do so despite all of the posts on here that urge you to reconsider. Your child is must that, a child and she needs you to keep her safe for a good while yet, no matter how inconvenient it might be for you.

Your child is *just that

If he was happy with it, yes. One of mine would have taken this in her stride, the other not. For me with most things, it was about how they felt.