How late is your 11 year old DD allowed out in town?

[InterferingOutsider]

DD has an activity that finishes at 6pm. Allowing 10 mins to change, walk to bus stop, bus at 615. 15 mins to main station, wait at station until 650 when bus home leaves (although bus usually there by 645).

Would you be happy to let your 11 year old DD do this alone each week?

No , absolutely not and my DD is very mature for her age , it doesn't matter what any other parents do I would still collect my child when they are 12

Not a chance.
Especially not in the winter months.

A bus back when it is dark and they are totally alone would not be my first choice for anyone under sixteen. Even at that age I would try and collect dc.

@titchy I'm assuming based on a different training day. Two girls who live quite a way a way always get collected and one of the boys randomly gets collected. The other parents only seem to collect if there are matches at the weekend and want details else kids go home alone via scooter, foot, bike or bus.
From DD's current group, all bar one are dropped and collected - he goes by scooter so I assume he lives quite close by.

There would also be a bus at 625 (runs every 10 mins) which should connect to the second bus.

No, I wouldn’t even consider this for an 11y old.

So most actually get collected.
If it was a direct bus from the activity to your nearest bus stop then fine but the journey isn't that simple and it doesn't sound as if there is another child not being collected that could do the journey back with yours which would make it slightly better.

I would either collect, taxi her home or meet her at the bus station.

What is making you say no?
Having to get out of activity on time?
Is it being on the bus alone?
Having to change bus?
Having to wait at the station?

Does that mean your 11 year olds only go to activities where you are present the whole time?

I could potentially get the bus into town which should arrive at 615 and wait at the station for her, letting her get the first bus alone or is that also asking too much?

OP I think this depends so much on where you live. From both a danger aspect and a how normal it is for young people to get public transport.

My DC are younger than this so I don’t really know, but I think my approach, also taking into account where I live is that if this is the only way for them to do the activity then so be it. That’s what they’d have to do. But I’d probably exhaust other options like sharing lifts etc. first.

I wouldn't rule it out but I think it depends a lot on where you live/ what the bus station is like etc. The wait between buses is what would worry me. Also, what's your contingency- is there a back up for if the bus doesnt come etc.?

Absolutely not, grown women aren’t safe walking the streets after dark alone, I’d not risk a young child.

What age? When they’re more adult sized and stronger/faster, able to rapidly risk assess and reliably keep in touch.

Is she in Yr6 or Yr7?
Are there other children doing it?
There's no way I'd have left my Yr6 child do it. A few weeks into secondary & doing it with friends would be fine

Meeting her at the bus station is something I would be ok with personally.

In the city I live in I would not let an 11 year old do this. I wouldn’t do this in the city at night as it just is not safe. My kids go to things in the car - mostly within a 10 minute drive so I drop them off and come back and pick them up. If what they are doing is to short time wise for me to go home then I wait for them.

I wouldn't allow this and I wouldn't really be happy with meeting her after the first bus either.

I have a 10 year old and feels long way off this

I would be fine with it, but on the basis that she texts when leaving, know what to do if the bus doesn’t return up or she gets hassled or worried, and once I’d done it with her a couple of times.

But that’s based on public transport savvy kids and the safety of London buses with CCTV.

You are taking a major risk with her safety. I am struggling to see how you can’t see that op, she is only 11 years old, and will be no match for a group of teen boys, the local pervert, a flasher or someone stealing her phone.

She is too small, too young to be fully aware and incapable of defending herself fully, you would be leaving her in an extremely vulnerable position. It wouldn’t take long for someone to notice she gets the same two buses alone each week.

Neither of mine did either

I think it depends on where you live.
Mine would never do that journey - because the last bus runs at 4pm.
However, my now 12 year old frequently goes out to kick a football around with his mates after dinner - so out later than 7pm.
My 14 year old gets collected at 9pm - but everyone does, as it's that or walk home (and it's 5 miles!)

Not a hope would I allow my 11 year old to do it. Time to change activities or make sure you or another adult is there to collect.

Exactly what @Remembermynamealways has said. She is too young especially in the winter months. We have always dropped off and picked up for dc activities, even if it has meant hanging around for an hour or so while they do it.

Agree with bemmy.

I supervise mine to locals shop!

All of these are things that would make me say no on their own, together it’s a definite no especially as evenings get darker.

maybe at 14 I’d be ok with it, still not loving the idea of her waiting alone at a bus station though

its not that she only goes to activities where we’re ‘present the whole time’ but we do collect her, or share lifts with friend’s parents

No way would I allow this especially in winter. I'd take them..if I didn't have car I'd take tham on public transport and wait in a cafe with a book or look round some nearby shops or something.

Definitely not. I don’t think I’m overprotective either but it would be a definite no. Even hanging around one bus stop in winter would be too much at 11, never mind the set up you are describing.