How late is your 11 year old DD allowed out in town?

[InterferingOutsider]

DD has an activity that finishes at 6pm. Allowing 10 mins to change, walk to bus stop, bus at 615. 15 mins to main station, wait at station until 650 when bus home leaves (although bus usually there by 645).

Would you be happy to let your 11 year old DD do this alone each week?

Keep the car, you need it. Or go with her, wait with her and return home with her.

My mum worked till 6pm and didn’t drive.

I got myself to all sorts of sports or youth clubs from the age of 11. Did I get approached by men in cars asking me if I needed a lift? Yep. Did I know to tell them ‘NO’ with a hard voice? Also yep.

There is no one answer but I took myself off for a long and isolated walk today because resilience…

There you go girls. Just tell a man no and they’ll listen 🙄

I have 11yo twin girls and I wouldn’t be comfortable with this. Can you arrange taxi to bring her home?

Maybe get a taxi with her. Presumably you don’t drive so have the couple of hundred pounds plus that drivers spend on car a month as surplus income so can you not use that to get taxis?

I go for long isolated walks alone even though my sister and my friend were both raped when they were 12 and 13. Big difference between an 11 year old and fully grown women. Predators don't always give an option to say no.

Oh god no. My dd is 11 and I just can't imagine this. I wouldn't say I'm protective above and beyond most parents.

Like so many have told you op you'll have to catch a bus yourself and go get her or arrange a taxi.

Urgh. You are vile.

No not alone, possibly with friends but DD (12) probably wouldn't want to anyway, she'd want a lift or wouldn't go.

The station and the fact that there are two busses involved here is the bit that would be offputting to me.

Getting the first bus alone would probably be ok - IF the bus is extremely reliable and the area where the bus stop is located is safe, well lit, and there are pla es nearby where DD could go if anyone tried to hassle her.

I would not let a child that young wait at a bus station or train station on her own.

I was lucky enough to be able to carpool when my DCs were that age.

@InterferingOutsider do you mind me asking why you have to sell the car?

Can she wait at the sports facility until one of you is free to pick her up there?

It wouldn't cross my mind to let my DD do this.

Nope…. Milly Dowler.

I have only just started letting my teenager travel around alone like that, and only because it’s broad daylight. I will drive to pick her up when the days get shorter.

Light nights yes

Dark nights I would prefer to collect.

Not a chance.

Biggest factor is where you live. In your situation, if I had to, I'd let my child do that where we live, but there are also places that I wouldn't

In summer I think this is absolutely fine. In winter it would make me more nervous. However, for a sport that is that important to her I think on balance it's a better solution than giving it up. As much as it's a risk, there is also a risk to asking he to give it up

Have you tracking on her phone. Could she ring and be on the phone with you? Can you ask the sports club if anyone else walks that way. 11 sounds very little but that's still end of y7 for some children. If the older group trains later can she stay and watch until you pick her up? Speak to the club, if she's national level they will facilitate helping her.
.

I wouldn’t do it. Buses have too many weirdos on them. It was dodgy for me at 16 doing similar. Remember it gets dark at 4pm close to Christmas.

This is a good idea. She’d be safe and could take a book or some homework.

It’s the waiting at the town bus station that makes me say no personally. If she was getting straight on at a bus stop by the sports centre and going all the way home then maybe.

Not at that age, maybe 13 ish when I'd let her do it independently. With friends might be different.

Dunno about these ‘girls’ you’re referring
to, given that I’m a woman.

It would be useful for you to explain.

no.
definitely not.
safety is more important than any sport.
(and i'm the one who thinks youngsters are often babied).
this would not have happened even in my day.