I’m going to have to pull DD from holiday club due to her not stopping talking aren’t I?

[SheNeverStopsTalking]

DD is 9.

In Holiday Club 2 days a week, 1 of those days I’m working the other day is purely to give me some headspace.

She talks from the moment she opens her eyes, until the moment she closes them but also talks in her sleep. She will wake me up at night if she can’t get back to sleep to have a chat. She will talk to me while we watch TV, describing whats happening on screen while I’m there, I can’t take her to the cinema as she talks all the way through the film!

It’s just me and her at home, so it can be extremely intense during holidays hence the 1 day a week break as otherwise I find myself needing a break. At least she’s out the house 5 days a week during Term Time – I work freelance so usually do 2-3 days work a week and give myself 2 or 3 days off, cut down to 1-2 days a week in holidays.

But DD is spending all her time talking to the adult leaders not taking part. If a familiar face turns up she might play with them/talk to them for 30 minutes or so but otherwise it’s just the leaders. I can see they’re finding it as tiring as I am. They tell me they swap leaders every hour or so, but there's 4 leaders to 60 kids so each leader is getting at least 2 hours a day of DD talking. She engages in conversations. She just talks a lot.

She’s not behaving badly, so they can’t technically ask I don’t bring her as the contract states – “A child will only be asked to leave holiday club if their behaviour is seen to be violent and/or dangerous to either one or all of 1) other children, 2) themselves or 3) staff”.

She chose where to go and what days to do it.

I did wonder if she felt overwhelmed by it as she has SN (dyslexia, dyspraxia/DCD, and general processing difficulties – main areas of this are audio and thinking speed - I also suspect ASD or ADHD but no-one else sees it) so thought it might be too busy/too much to process but she says she loves going, really enjoys it and everyones really nice and we're not getting any post holiday club meltdowns unlike after school where we have one nearly everyday so I now feel stuck.

I’m going to have to pull her out aren’t I just to save the leaders sanity?

I was apparently born talking...

Don't pull her out of HC. It's really important socially and do consider an ASD diagnosis. It can be missed in girls before 12 because they use male oriented charts. What you've mentioned are all signs.

It's two days a week and the Leaders should be encouraging her to do activities with others. It's what they're paid for. You can always sheepishly say that you know she talks alot. The more confident she feels there, the more likely she will engage with other kids.

It sounds like she just really enjoys adult company. I’ve known a few kids like this who are an only child (or very young in comparison to their siblings). Her teachers at school are probably used to this type of behaviour and are confident enough to tell her to go and play with her friends. Perhaps you should try and have a word with the leaders and tell them that if she gets a bit too much then to just tell her to go and play with the other children. Maybe they could give her an important job of taking care of another child.

I’ve got the exact same thing at the moment except it’s my mum! Incessant talking, non sequiturs and talking over television programmes either asking for an explanation as to ‘why x is saying that’ or explaining what’s happening. Don’t get me started on when she describes what’s happening in the book she’s currently reading!! OP I feel for you, how exhausting it is, listening sufficiently to a) show interest and b) not miss some desperately important nugget of information just thrown out there in random conversation. If your daughter is enjoying daycare, don’t pull her out of it, as others have said, the staff are trained and this is only a couple of days, not 24-7.

Precisely this

Nah. That's their job. My kids the same and she'll stop if you tell her, she just gets carried away and likes the sound of her own voice. Enjoy the break and don't feel guilty at all. Also remember that they're total strangers and you can just choose a different club next time if you feel that awkward 🤣

I would leave her in.They will manage it and if not they can talk to you.

I'd seriously consider asd or adhd. My ds is autistic he was none verbal until about 5 years old now as I like to describe it he uses all of the words, all day everyday. With zero awareness that it may not be interesting to others. My dd has adhd, she was not verbal until around 3 years old. She was a very chatty child and even now as a adult talks significantly more than the average person and again struggles to recognise if the other person is disengaged

Please don’t pull her out!

It sounds like she is enjoying it a lot and getting lots from it and 2 hours a day each is not unreasonable.

They are paid to work with a range of behaviour - she’s “yours” so you feel understandably very self conscious for her and responsible (you are clearly a lovely lovely mum) - but there will be a good handful of other kids with additional needs or just unusual behaviour which are harder to be around than hers. I totally get how tiring it must be so you need the break too!

She won’t press their buttons anywhere near as much as she presses yours - I know it’s excruciating to think of your kid being the one driving everyone nuts but I guarantee it’s not like that for them.

She hasn’t done anything wrong, and neither have you. They won’t be as stressed by it in reality as they are in your mind, promise xx

Sounds like my DS he talks nonstop and is also dyslexic and dyspraxic. He talks nonstop at home but is as quiet as a mouse when he’s out, it can be draining and I would love for him to transfer his talking and confidence out of the house. Any tips on that please send them by way!

No don’t take her out, better her talking to a few people than just at home talking to you!

For those saying the staff will be trained, the teenagers most likely won’t be, they will just be doing this as a holiday job and paid the lowest minimum wage for it. They will not be experts on SN. They are doing this job because they preferred if to clearing tables which other teenagers will be doing as their holiday job

There are times when its ok to unmask, and expect people to take us as we are, noises, ticks, chatter, fidgeting, meltdowns and all, and times when we need to learn its not appropriate.

I'd have thought a holiday club that's supposed to be a fun place to spend time during the holidays should be a place where a child can unmask though right?

I’d leave her in the club too, my DD is 3.5 so quite a big younger but is a real live wire and talks non stop. I have a Monday to myself in term time where I still send her to nursery because I just need to head space to get house jobs done without the constant commentary. She’s also extremely messy and hoards things inside pots, inside bags, inside cupboards. She is just always on the go and I trail around after her.

Our school (where she goes to pre-school nursery) are running a summer club for a fortnight and I’ve signed her up for 3 days each week. I was really worried about her going as it ranges from 3-11, I thought they would find her hard work, constantly nattering on and not able to join in the bigger kids games without spoiling it in some way. I happened to pass the headteacher at drop yesterday and she stopped me to tell me how amazing she is. How wonderful it is at her age to be so social, confident, interested and willing to play with everyone.

I realised there was no need to worry, people who work with kids should expect a completely diverse group of children. Every child is different and they should be adapting their teaching/play styles around them. Please don’t worry, she sounds really happy where she is.

Of course you don't need to pull her out?! She's not misbehaving. She socialising. That's what you're paying for?!

That said it could be an ASD thing, in the sense of your DD not being aware of social norms. Her 'special interest' could be talking.

Suggest to the leaders they get her to 'help' out with the younger children, she could help them with arts and crafts, etc

No need to pull her out, sounds like she's enjoying her time there and the helpers will be fine.

It's not mean you need to learn social skills especially if they don't come naturally my daughter is an adult now fairly popular still a chatterbox but understands now (mostly) that sometimes one needs to take a breath

The only time I actually tell my children sharply to be quiet is when I'm driving my town can get a bit crazy no indicators work lane discipline is a theory never practiced going through an island can be "adventurous"

I have dyspraxia and also was a bit of a chatterbox as a child and alot more likely to chat to the adults then the other children.

I think I talked alot as a way of dealing with my nervous energy.

I think they say around 85% of people with Dyspraxia also have ADHD, although don't quote me on that. I've often wondered if I do although there are big overlaps in behaviours of Dyspraxia and ADHD so it's hard to tell.

Personally, I'd carry on sending your daughter. She's enjoying it and shouldn't be excluded from an activity that brings her joy just because some adults, who are paid to be there, might be slightly fed up of her chin wagging - you need a break as well.

I definitely wouldn’t pull her out if she’s enjoying it. And it sounds like you need the break if her talking is that incessant. I’d look into having her assessed for ADHD as the level of talking you describe sounds compulsive and with a formal
diagnosis a referral for CBT may work wonders.

As someone who works in this setting defo don't pull her out. It's up to the staff to distract and find something for DD to engage in. Ignore the sigh at the end of pick up. It's a long day with lots of children not just yours. Quite unprofessional way to speak about a child especially in front of their parent

I have once experienced a grown young man (age 18-20) to talk non-stop. He was in a group of friends and they travelled on the same plane as we did from Canada to Belgium. The group was seated around us (me and DH), a few in front of us, the others to our right over the path. He was my righ hand neighbour. It was a nightflight and he went around and woke up his friends to talk to them. He talked non-stop the whole flight, and he needed an audience. If a friend nodded of he went to find another victim. I was so tired but couldn't sleep as his seat was next to me and he bumped into me constantly. I asked him, no begged him to please please keep his mouth shut. He did for about 3 minutes but kept jumping in his chair like a todler. I could've killed him. With that experience in mind I would ask you to find a solution for your DD, to help her to find a way to nót talk all the time. It could severely impact how people percieve her. Not everybody wants to be friends with a chatterbox.

@Sennelier1 sounds awful. Surprised air hostess didn't say anything to the passenger

Esp at night when should be quiet and people want to sleep

@Blondeshavemorefun he was actually flirting with one of the young staff and she liked him a lot. Her collegues left her to work in our part of the plane and she seemed happy enough. I more than once asked her to please let him shut up but she laughed me away, claiming he was so cute. This was American Airlines.

Sounds hell

Don't mind talking daytime tho times I want to gag my 6yr

Esp when constantly singing maltida 😂

But night time /flights no way !!

She's had a much better day today by the sounds of it but is very tired and tearful.

She's found a friend whose there most of the days she is and she got involved with the craft today rather than just chatting - she did then go and show it to the leaders and chat about it but it was respite at least.

I did mention about her being reward based so they're giving her stickers for everything she does, different colour ones as well (I've paid for these and don't mind if they end up giving them out to other children to) which seems to have helped encourage her.

My child only unmasks at home as that is only true safe place where she is totally accepted for who she is.

She even masks in front of us at times though and there are times where I don’t even realise until she has a meltdown and that I figure out what has actually been on her mind.