Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

At 40, I had children aged 19, 17 14 and 12. At 42 I was a grandmother.

So I am 39. Have a 17 year and and a 10 1/2 month old. Its crazy to think my oldest could have had a child by now. Like you, I don't feel any different in my late 20's as to how I feel now.
We are even considering trying to have another one so littlest has a sibling close in age. Xx

When I was 40 my sons were 14 and 15. They're in their 20s now.

Time flies. It seems like yesterday they were born.

35 with a 16 & 11 year old :) single parent but I love that I had them so young. We have so much time together and though it’s been hard and isolating at times, it’s been such a joy. I always wanted more and expected to be broody forever, but that passed thank goodness! Now I look forward to travelling once they have flown the nest and having some well deserved me time. xxx

At 40 I had a almost 4 year old and an 18months old. I was had my first at 36 after not being that bothered about kids and the. Really wanted the second. Who I had at 38. I am 45 now I have a 9 yr old and an almost 7 yr old. I have always worked full time with both. A lot of my school friends have adult children and some are grandmothers. It blows my mind!

I am 45 with 5 kids, 27,26,23,20,14 No grandkids. Yes I still feel broody! Our first two are 10months apart.

I’m 46, have 4 DC’s and 1 (almost 2) GC’s. I had my youngest 2 when was 19 and 21, then a big gap and one at 29 and one @ 34.

I became a grandma at 44, which is the same age that my DM had me. She then went on to have twins at 47. I genuinely have no idea how she managed with us. I was 2.5 when my sisters were born. That had to be hard. I’m knackered now after looking after DGD.

I'm 49 with a 10 year old. I am tired but would not change a thing.

At 40 I has a 14, 12 and 3 year old. Had the last one when I was 42.
A friend of mine is 39, a grandma and pregnant with her 5th.

At 40 I had a 9yr old and a 5yr old.
Now 41…
My best friend has a 19 and 15 yr old… our worlds are so intertwined, but oh so different (friends since age 11, husbands were also friends at school… they were together since 14, I went on a blind date with my now husband at 26 not knowing he was someone I already knew)
Would have liked a third… but covid robbed me of that opportunity… was TTC when covid hit… front line healthcare worker… facing covid everyday… the unknown risks to a foetus were just too great… we stopped… now feeling like that ship has sailed… embracing the freedom of opportunity that a 10 and 6yr old being…

43 with a 12 year old 🥰

43, one 16 and one 2!

We’ve 3 children 29,28 & 21 we ourselves are 47 & 54 and we wanted them early so we could enjoy them while we were young enough and now we run our own business we have money in the bank and have brought them up with respect and to share and help others be kind too and in reality I couldn’t have asked for anything more.. we and the youngest go out clubbing 😂 quiz nights and none of them want children and they’ve wanted for nothing we’ve not eaten properly so they could have things but they’ve never been spoilt and are very giving people and do lots for charity ( youngest puts packs together with water, sanitary products, wipes, spare knickers toothpaste toothbrush and other girly things in to give out to genuinely homeless women or a women’s refuge) we only found this out ♥️ we’re incredibly proud of how they’ve turned out considering how young I was but I always wanted children young ever since I can remember.

At forty I had a twelve year old and a ten year old. But there is no right age it is different for everyone. A lot depends on circumstances and finances.

When I'm 40 I'll have a 21 year old 😯

I’m 43, have a 23 year old Dd and a 17 year old Ds and a 4 year old granddaughter, a 2yr old grandson and a 5month old grandson lol I feel young but too old to have any more children and I literally had a coil fitted today to prevent that. I’m finding myself now after parenting half my life, I’m healing and living more for me and couldn’t cope with having more children no wayyyy!

I had my 3rd baby at 40, I’m
48 now. I had my first at 22 she’s 25 now and mentally ill, she has schizophrenia and won’t have anything to do with us for the last few years. I also have a 19 year old, she’s made a few comments lately that when she has a baby apparently I’ll be looking after it for her. Unfortunately I can’t actually think of anything worse, by the time
my 8 year old can get himself home with his own key I’ll have had a kid at home for 30
years.

At 40, I was with a 4 and 8 year old. Now 60, 23 & 27. They keep me young and soon the last one will flee the nest. I can smell the freedom!

At 40 I had an 18 and a 13 year old !

44 with a 12yo (13 next month) and 7yo (8 in 2 months)

I'm 46 next month and have a 10,8 and 4 year old. I don't feel 46.

I know someone (we were friends in junior school) - we were born on the same day and her first grandchild is the same age as my second born. She has about 4 grandchildren now. I'd see her out and about sometimes, me with my children and her with her grandchildren. I couldn't imagine myself old enough to be a grandmother.
However, she passed away in May. I'm so glad she got to meet her grandchildren. I may not meet some/all of mine 😪

I’m 41 with a 22 year old and a 6 week old 😬 absolutely would not have it any other way, I love the patience I have as an older mum but also the carefree attitude I had as a 19 year old mum - two completely different experiences & wouldn’t trade either experiences.

I'm 43 with and 11 and 8 year old.
I had a hysterectomy 4 months ago. Apparently feeling a sense of loss is common, but I hand on heart cannot say I've felt that once. It's interesting to see the contrast. I have friends who are Nannys and Grandads at my age. Before kids I travelled extensively, I secured my own house and made sure I had a career. I wouldn't do it differently.

I’m 44 and my kids are 13 and 5.

I had no interest in kids whatsoever in my early-mid 20s, so would never have had them young, and am glad they arrived when they did.

I don’t feel old and tired at all, and I can’t imagine being a grandma at this age. To me that seems strange but I realise it’s not uncommon.

Everyone is different, and it’s great seeing that on this thread. But I don’t regret having my youngest at 39 one little bit, it was the perfect time for me.

When my youngest turns 18, I'll have just turned 60! Didn't have my first until 34 so a lot of my friends kids are in their late teens, a couple have grand kids as old as my youngest 😂