Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

When I'm 40 i'll have a 19 and 17 year old

Im 37… they will be 18,17,16, 6 and 5. I’d love a couple more!

I’m 41 with an 11 and nearly 13 year old. I still have absolutely no idea how we got to this point!
It does feel very odd that I was 25 - graduated, married, and trying for a baby - at the time my parents were my age!

42 and 47 we have a 16 and 19 year old.

55 with DDs 13 & 14. I love it 💕

With a 13 year old and a 6 year old! Crazy! My sister was a grandmother by now though.

I had a 16 year old boy, a 10 year old girl and a 6 year old girl. Nothing changed. I'm 10 years older. So are they. And no grandkids. I have a bit of independence which is fantastic. I feel 50. I look maybe a couple years younger. And I think I'm still 20 in my head 🤣🤣

Wouldn’t that be great aunt, not great great?

I’m 39 with DC aged 20, 18, 16 and 12. I have a friend who has young DC. Her youngest is only 3 months old. Whilst biologically I could have more I am wayyyy to tired to even consider it and teenagers are both difficult and expensive!

I'm 38, have an 8 month old, we plan on another fairly soon ie before 40. I'd been having far too much fun living my life, having fun, abroad, building my career etc...I only met my partner 4 years ago. Now I wouldn't change my experiences for the world, but since becoming a mother I sometimes wish I'd done it sooner, so I could have more children! My mind is young, and I look pretty good, but god I'm tired. I don't think I could cope with childbearing much past 40!

A girl I know my age became a grandmother at 30!

At 40 had a 6 and a 4 year old. Husband was then 37. Six years on we are also enjoying a little more independence… definitely less physically tiring at this point. Interesting thread! My best friend had her kids at 20, they are now grown. I don’t think there’s a perfect way of doing it though.

@Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy
At 40 I had an 11 year old and a 2 year old. My other 2 children weren't born. 😂 I had one more at 42 and then my last one at 44.
I have no idea what I was playing at!!! 😂😂😂

At 40 I had a new born and a 6 year old

39 with a nearly 3 and a 1 year old. Like you, in my head I'm still in my 20s!

Last child at 32. I was adamant I wasn’t going to be over 50 with with an 18 year old. Odd I know but had my 1st at 22

42...
DS is 10... So intelligent and so annoying! I love him to bits and I wouldn't change him for the world!
DD is 5 and she is my world because I am hers...

I wouldn't change a thing!
Yes, I could be a grandma by now... And I thank my lucky stars I'm not!

I'm happy with my lot and can't/wouldn't change it!

I'll be 40 next year and will have a 21 year old and a 1 year old, hoping to either have a newborn or be pregnant too 🤞

At 40 I’ll have an almost 16 year old, 12 year old and a 4 year old. Unfortunately won’t have anymore children as I had to undergo a caesarean hysterectomy with our last.

I’m 48 will be 49 this November my children are 30,28 & 27 & I was sterilised at 24, I have 3 grandchildren aged 9,8 &7, I wanted to have my children early so when I was older I could enjoy myself more what I didn’t expect that in 2017 when my granddaughter who the eldest at 9yrs old she was 2&1/2 at the time would be coming to live with me fulltime & I would become a Kinship carer to her, although I now am able to talk to my eldest daughter the only time I actually see her face to face is when the yearly Childrens panel comes around I have told her straight to her face that yea she is my daughter & I love her but I will never be able to forgive her for abandoning her two daughters all because she didn’t want to be a mum anymore, she wanted to have the young single life (she is the 30yr old) her other daughter was only 3months old when she abandoned her she lives with the paternal grandparents, my daughter has a no contact order against her & has had it since 2017 & as we moved house she isnt allowed to know our address,my granddaughters school,who or where our gp surgery is or dentist or anything important she isn’t allowed to know the addresses incase she turns up & either causes trouble or tries to take my granddaughter so my life no is instead of relaxing & spending time with my partner doing things we want to before he loses his sight completely (he has congenital glaucoma was diagnosed at 3yrs old) we feel as though we had become older new parents when we took my granddaughter in, I don’t regret it as to me family comes first before everything,& no way would a grandchild of mine go into care, I do miss not hearing her call me gran though

41 with a 21 year old. Me and DH love all the freedom we have now and could think of nothing worse than starting all over again, loved the young baby years but definitely done with that. Fingers crossed I get a few grandchildren one day though.

I'm 46 & have a 15 year old,14 year old & a 2 year old x

I am 41 and we have a 6 year old. I am so glad to have had all my 20s and some of my 30s to just be me, live my life and be free.
I couldn't imagine being that age with a child, now I know what it entails, I just wouldn't be the parent I am now, I would have hated it, so I know I made the right choice.

I could easily go again (if I could, I can't and don't want to) but it's not due to my feeling too old.

I'm 37, with a 19, 13 and 3 year old. They're rather spread out!

52 and have DD 29 and DS 22. Have a granddaughter aged 4. Absolutely love being a relatively young Nana.

I would have had a 17, 13, 6, 5 year old and a 1 month old. I would be going to have one more in a few years. Breastfeeding. Happy. Loving my big family