Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

I only had 2 at 40, they were 8 and 6.
by the time I was 45 I also a 4yr old and a 1yr old.
Out youngest is 13 now, it’s fine. Financially stable and relaxed parents.
it feels normal to us.

At 40, my children were 12 and 9. I'm late 40s now, and by the time I'm 50 both children will be grown and flown the nest (one already at uni and other just starting A levels). I couldn't imagine having young children at my age now, I'd be too knackered!

20 year old DS
10 year old DD

At 40 I had one six year old. One of my close friends had her fourth child at 40 and three weeks later, she had her first grandchild (both are boys).

I turn 40 later this year and have a 3 Yr old and a 19month old plus a 7yr old stepdaughter. Still undecided if we want a third together or not, but defo know we need more of a gap than the 20months between DD1 and DD2.

I will have a 3 year old and who knows maybe a second! I do feel very tired and achey in the morning with baby, I wonder often how I would feel if I was 10 years younger. But I doubt I would have been such a good mother myself 10 years ago and it would have been a different not so good father too!

I had a 10 year old at 40 (now 55). We had secondary infertility and if I’d fallen pregnant at 40 I would have been happy (although we had moved on from thoughts of any help/treatments). I’m now v happy at 55 having a 25 year old and no children still at school/uni. I can’t imagine still having the financial worry of putting another child through uni plus dealing with teenage years at this age!! But I guess you adjust to whatever you are used to.

When I was 40, I had one just started secondary, one in juniors and one in Reception. I never felt ‘old’ . I’m 59 soon… my kids are now 31,26 and 23. In my head I’m still late 20’s, but the body tells me otherwise…
I would LOVE grandchildren, but I’m torn because my daughter, (who gets married next year and is a teacher) needs to ‘live’ a bit more first, in my opinion. My boys don’t have designs in that direction at all…yet.😏So I guess I’ll have to wait a bit longer! But, I’m desperate not to be an ‘old’ grandma who can’t do anything with her grandchildren due to infirmity or something!!!🤭 Quite envious of most of my friends/ colleagues who seem to have several grandchildren!

My BF had her 3rd child at 47 yrs old.

Once when she visited her home town she bumped in to a school friend who was a grandma at 30! Had her 1st child at 14/15 and so did her child!

I had my DC at 33 & 35yrs old and did a lot before I had them.

My children were very spread out, 3 years between each, started at 24 and last baby at 33. So at 40 I had teenagers and a pre-school.

This used to be normal, many people had 12 or more children early in the last century. This usually meant that the oldest child had children by the time the youngest was born.
I have a photo showing all of my greatgrandmother's children, siblings ranging from a baby in arms up to men and women in their 20's.

I'm 42. I have a 23 year old, an 18 year old, an 11 year old and a five year old! My stage of parenting is officially referred to as "all over the fucking place"! 😬😂

What amazing replies and such a broad spectrum of experiences. Life really is very interesting at 40!

I also feel like I have ad much energy now as I did in my twenties, possibly more. If I found out I was pregnant with number 4 I would be secretly delighted! I always said that if left to my own devices, I would have started having children in my early twenties and continued until I physically couldn't have any more! Good job it didn't work out that way as I'd have about 15 children by the time I reach menopause!

At 40, I had a baby girl, and three boys, aged 8, 10 and 14. She wasn't planned, but brought a lot of joy - my life was pretty stressful though.

When I turn 40 my only child will be 21. 40s will be me time.

When I’m 40my eldest will be 22 and youngest 6 years old!!!

I have just turned 46 last week and my children are 27, 23, 12, 11 + 8. I don't feel at any set stage of parenting due to the 18years difference and I have been a parent for much longer than I wasn't one 😆. My husband was 40 when we had our first and they are now 12.

Early forties and my eldest is in mid twenties and the very youngest a toddler who loves it when the grandchildren come over!! Feel very fortunate and life is never boring having children spread through different stages of their lives. With little ones, large family and still working I probably don’t have as much involvement, money etc with grandchildren as if all children grown up and retired.

At 40 I had a 1 day old baby 😆 She was born the day before my 40th birthday..Shes almost 2 now, would love another but that ship has sailed for me sadly..

At 40 I was 7 months pregnant with my first and only child. Late starter

When I'm 40, DD1 will be 13 and DD2 will be 10... Oh no, why did I think they'd be much older than that? Like...adults. I fear I might also think I'm a lot younger than I actually am.

2 year old and newborn
It's taken me until recently to get the emotional and financial stibility/maturity to start a family. I wasn't ready earlier!

stability - sorry

I wouldn’t be so sure of that!! I had my first baby at 40 with IVF and so happy obviously but sad that I imagined she would be my one and only. Fate had other ideas though as I conceived naturally at 45 and had my son!! So you just never know, do you??? 🙏🙏💕

That is so wonderful 🥰

At 40, I will have a 7, 5 and 1 year old 😬