Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

I'm late forties now but when I was 40 I was single mum to a 17 year old. Then I met someone, fell in love etc and at 42 got pregnant again .

41 and my kids are 11, 9 and 7. Just about right for me! I was/am very lucky.

At 40 the ex were 9 and 6. Definitely no more.

Dc, not ex 🤷🏻‍♀️

not quite there yet! but will have pre-teens - happy to not have young children at 40 if im honest! I could not think of anything worse!

In my 40's two children still at home and first became a grandparent 5 years ago, my youngest became an uncle age 4. It's wonderful and exhausting!

Mine are 2 and 3! 12 months and 3 weeks between them and I'm 41 in august. I didn't meet the love of my life until 6 years ago and we had 3 miscarriages so to end up with 2 boys is a dream! Very happy after a lot of heartache

I appreciate that’s your opinion but i disagree. I never struggled in my twenties to stay in nice hotels and eat nice places. I had higher disposable income and no responsibilities. And I still do that now as I have an established career that allows me to be flexible. I think travelling, meeting new people in your forties is not the same as in your twenties but that could just be me.

When I am 40 i will have a 15 year old and 11 year old who will have just started secondary school.

I have split from their dad but at this point wouldn't want any more kids. I had them in my mid 20's so feel like i missed out on some of those freedom years. Getting a taste of it now with my 12 year old so looking forward to not having to worry so much about things like being able to go out in the day with no kids.

When I turn 40 I'll have an 18 year old and a 15 year old. I'm hoping this means that we'll be able to go out for dinner without arranging a babysitter?!

At 40 I had a 3 year old and 1 year old, number 3 arrived when I was 44

Im 48 with 6 kids aged from 4 up to 18 😅
my eldest’s friend has just announced she’s pregnant which gave me a bit of a wake up call but I have school friends who have much older children and grandchildren the age of a couple of mine which feels a bit crazy at times

P

I’m 44 with a 14 and 9 year old plus two adult stepchildren and two step grandchildren! I definitely don’t feel old enough enough to have grandchildren and one of them calls me Nanny which my friends find hilarious!

I'm 40 and have a 5 year old and nearly 2. Honestly, same, I feel like I am much younger than I am. If I could do it all again I'd probably have them younger, but then I spent the majority of my 20s anti kids and not wanting them, met my husband at 29 and marries at 32 so it's just the way it was.
I also teach secondary so I'm seeing more parents my age now.

at 40 I will have a 20 year old and a 17 year old. Currently 38 with an 18 year old and a 15 year old.

Id be horrified to get pregnant now and horrified to be a grandmother at 40 though it would be completely possible!

I don’t feel my age, be kind of grown up with my kids and don’t feel like I’m at a more mature stage of life than those with young kids now. If anything it’s the opposite as I have more freedom to do what I want to do.

Il have a 17 year old 12 year old and 8 year old then ahhh

I’m 43 with a 6 year old and a 3 year old 😬

When I was 40 I had a 3 yr old, 7 yr old and a 9 yr old I became a grandma when I was 62, now have 2 GC, 4 and 1 1/2 and I m 66 now and reliving the toddler years

43 and mum to an 11 year old and a 9 year old. I wasn't able to have any more children due to complete loss of fertility caused by cancer but otherwise I would have had 4 children ideally with the youngest being born 3-5 years ago.

I’m 43 with a 19 year old and a 14 year old and I’m we had them when we did. I don’t feel old at all but definitely wouldn’t want anymore.

I think it’ll be a while before my kids have kids, if they even do. At the moment they both think the world is too fucked up to bring children into.

When I was 40 my DC were 12, 11, 7 and 4 .

When i was 40 I had children aged 20, 16, 14 & 11. My mum was 65 when I turned 40, after the initial shock of being a fairly young GP she now says it was brilliant (only 45 when I made her a GP)

At 40 my kids were 11 & 8. I’m now 43 and wouldn’t have another child if my life depended on it.

Will be 40 with a 23 , 18 , 17 and 13 year old .