Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

Mine will be 9 and 11 when I turn 40 next year. I think it’s quite a nice stage for the age—I still have energy and there is light at the end of the tunnel, but we still had a good long decade in our 20s to travel, settle into
careers, etc. The thought of having to deal with the torture of newborn sleepless nights at my age makes me feel a bit ill, so hats off those who are doing it with a grin! The preteen angst we have going on right now is exhausting enough for me. 😅 We’re just hoping everyone will be launched and settled into their adult lives before DH retires at 65, at which point they’ll be in their mid-30s.

I’m 40. I have a 15, 12 and 5 yr old. So I’m at different stages all at once. Highly recommend it tbh. I feel I get the best of all worlds at the moment.

I'm 42 and have a 20 and 16 year old .. I have my life back to enjoy .. there's no way I'd start again now

At 40 I had a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old. Now 53 and looking forward to a bit more freedom for me and D as the kids approach adulthood.

I'm 38, have only one toddler who will turn two soon.

@Museya15 I don't remember feeling grim at 40 when my DC were babies. I was doing regular 5k runs and spending an hour each afternoon in the gym while they were in the crèche before taking them both swimming.

I'm always surprised when people on here say they wouldn't have the energy for young DC once they hit 40. I'm 53 and still running 5k a couple of times a week and would have no problem looking after young children ( not that I'd want to - I've done my time!)

I think maybe once you've raised children , at any age , you just don't fancy the idea of starting it all over again.

I didn't make a decision to have kids late in life - I started TTC at 26 but fate had other plans for me.

I am 40 with a 3 year old.

It blows my mind to think that when my mum was my age, I was 23. I remember being 23 so clearly. I sometimes still feel 23 - my style hasnt really changed, or my tastes in music etc.

Between birth and 23 felt like a lifetime. Between 23 and now feels like a blink.

When I look at pictures of my mum at 40 or even my nan at 50, they looks so old to me. I think much can be attributed to style - at 50 my nan already had the short older woman cut, the mule sandals and floral tops. I still wear DMs and dye my hair pink.

Perhaps to a 23 year old I DO look old, but I do not feel it.

At 40 I had a 15 year old. She was independent pretty much and I had reached a stage in life I had the career, money and freedom to start doing what I liked !
I started fostering for respite breaks. I got myself a horse again and a mini convertible which Id always wanted.
I definitely wasn’t broody when friends at a similar age were just having their first baby.

At 40 I had a 5 year old and a 3 month old! I do wish I'd had them earlier so they would have more time with their grandparents and I'd have more time with them as adults.

Omg!!!

I'm not 40 yet. But when I am mine will be 11, 7, 7 and 4. Quite looking forward to it - my eldest will be at secondary and hopefully becoming a bit more independent and my youngest will be gearing up to start school.

I imagine it will be a busy time with lots of juggling, but I'm also hoping that children will all be able to entertain themselves well enough that I can start picking up my career a bit more. I already enjoy my eldest so much but my younger 3 are still quite hard work at the moment and I feel I waste quite a lotof time as a referee.

I'm 43 with a 17 and 7 year old. Definitely over the child rearing years but my cat is my baby and I want more fur babies 🥰

At 40 I had a 17yo, a 14yo , and 11 yo and was 8 months pregnant.

I was pg with my first at 18, and went on to be pg with my fifth child at 25. Me and my first partner split and I felt like I was done, I was 30 at that point.
I then meet my now DH and went on to having another 5 children, my most recent being 6 months old when I was 39.
I get where you coming from. My kids ages are 21,19,18,16,14,9,7,5,3 & 6mths. I honestly feel the same now as I did when I was 18! except I have more patience and have got to a point in my life where I don’t give a shiny sh@t what people thing.
It really is each to their own in my opinion. Only you know you, and your limits. So you do you ❤️
My eldest did pull a prank on me when I was 7 month’s pregnant last year and sent a pic of his gf with a food baby belly. I literally 💩 myself! Nana and mum-to-be at the same time 😱😂

I'm 40. My two are 5 and 6. Definitely the right time in life to have them for me and very similar to all of my friends. I wouldn't have been able to be such a good parent when younger emotionally, financially, practically.

I didn't anticipate being a lone parent, which makes things harder, but would have been a disaster if I'd been younger and not yet established a career that provided for them properly on my own. It would be much easier if we had an even vaguely helpful family though!!

Also not sure how it'll work having teenagers and peri-menopause at the same time. 🤣 The good thing I suppose is that they'll be finished with education at the same time that it's possible to access my pension so then I can take it easy and do exactly what I want.

When I’m 40 I will have a 10 year old and 8 year old and potentially a 5 year old.
I feel like I had my kids a a good age.

Me and my husband had a good 7-8 years together of just being young, travelling, going to concerts and loving carelessly.

We are now mid 30ies and are loving our lives with the kids.

One thing I have noticed is a lot of posters are saying they have less energy as they get older. I have personally experienced the opposite. I do exercise a lot which definitely increases my day to day energy levels. But I am definitely a better parent (both physically and mentally) and more involved than if I would have had kids in my 20ies.

At 40 my DC will be 4 and 6. Lovely ages. Can’t wait for my 40th!

By the time I'm forty I'm have one at secondary school (just) and one in year 4. I'm pretty happy with that.

Still not sure I feel the age I am, though.

When I turned 40 I had a 3 year old and a 11 month old

I’m 41 with a 20, 17 & 15YO. My best friend had her babies much later in life. She is 41 with 3Y & 18M. I think I would have been a very different parent if I had my children later on in life, however I am currently going through early menopause so in hindsight I may have struggled to have had I waited. I definitely wouldn’t want to do both!

Had my first at 21 & my last at 38, had more energy with the children I had in my 20’s & more patience with the ones I had in my 30’s. Whatever age is right for you is when you should have children

At 40 I had one year old, she is now 5

48 with a 25 and 24 year old. Love being child free, although not been able to reap all the benefits. Unfortunately for me, I have an autoimmune disease that's kept me unwell for the last few years, so I'm very glad that my kids are grown up and off my hands so to speak, as some days I struggle to even get out of bed.

When I'm 40 my only will be 14

43 (just turned) with an 18 year old son.
loving life. Not broody. DH and I currently on a month long vacay to Florida and the Bahamas. Yay!