Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

I'm 42 with 17, 15 and 9 year old. So at 40, they were 15, 13 and 7 No way could I cope with a baby now.... maybe I'd feel differently if I'd had lots of wild fun in my 20s though instead of getting married before I'd even finished uni! 😱

At 40 I had my second child. Now they are nearly 3. I get what you mean about feeling younger with a younger child.

40 with an almost 4 year old. I like that I lived my life well before I had a child. It means I can offer so much more to them.

When I’m 40 (in four years!) I’ll have a 7 and 4 year old.

At 40 I had a three year old DD. I started trying at 32 and it took me over 6 years to have her. At 41 I had my DS, a lovely surprise.

I wanted kids earlier but having them now has lots of advantages - career progression, financial stability etc. I’m tired but so are the younger mums I meet!

I’ll be 40 next year and will have 6 and 8 year olds. I don’t think I personally could have a baby at this age, I’m knackered all the time (though that might be the effect of the kids I already have!)!

Snap @SomethingNastyInTheBallPool 😄

At 40 I had a 4 yo and a 1 yo. I have a master, a phd, worked in 5 different countries, speak 3 languages, travelled around the world, I make a 6 figure salary and I can afford lot of help both in the house, cleaning and cooking and with the kids. I would not have had this money, hence help in my 20s and they would have stopped my career, my income and my pension. People think I am 10 years younger due to relatively small kids and the way I take care of myself, great food and Pilates. I could not be happier of my choice.

When I'm 40 my child will be 15. Who knows if I'll have any younger ones by then but probably not.

I will have a ten year old, a five year old and hopefully another as want to use our last embryo in a year or two.

At 40 I had an 8mth old and a 4yr old. 45 now and they are 5 and 9. I wouldn't want anymore but definitely feel they keep me young. Loving these ages as still want to spend time with me but well past the toddler stage.

I’ll have a 4 yo and a 2 yo - am 38 at moment. I had this mad delusion with my first that I looked like a young mum, even though I know this is absolutely ridiculous (in reality, my look is harassed, frumpy mum of 2)

Not quite 40 yet. Will have a 10 and 18mo when I am. Currently back in the new born phase. And my god I feel old and tired. We had 6yrs of recurrent loss and secondary infertility. Gave up and here we are with a newborn. I feel much calmer now than I did at 30, more patient and definitely more financially secure so I can take a full year off without going back to work or even having to worry about money. Would I do it again...we're done now. H is booked in for his snip next month. But, a teeny tiny part of me thinks may be we should have one more. I've always wanted 5 kids but think I have to settle at 2. I can't go through the losses and the toll it takes on your body again

No children at 40
First born at 41
Second due in less than a week and I am going to be 45 in a few weeks.

Absolutely loads of my UK friends are now grandparents but my friends here (other side of the world) are all quite similar to me, kids after 40.

I've just turned 41 and have a 22 year old and an 18 year old, it's worked out well for DH and I to have had children young, we're still (just) young/fun enough for them to want to holiday with us (it could potentially be the fact we still pay for the holidays 🤣)

😂

I’m 40 with a 24, 21 and 16 year old. Can’t imagine having a baby at my age, hopefully won’t be granny for a few years yet! My same age friends are at a very different life stage to me though, with small children, whereas mine are pretty much independent.

At 40, I had a 10 and 12 year old. Perfect for us as we now have one at University and one heading off next year.

In my head I feel like I'm 25 and although I don't look 47, I definitely do not look 25! We're still young at heart though and have many more nights out and weekends away in us yet!

40 with a 5yo and 2yo here. Absolutely loving the little kid stage (but also completely done with having babies).

I sometimes wonder if it would have been better to be a young mum but rather selfishly I don’t regret spending my 20s and early 30s absolutely carefree - travelling, learning, having fun and making my own path in life with nobody else to consider.

At 40 I had a 13 year old, a 10 year old and a 3 month old.
Now 55, with a 28 year old, a 25 year old, a 15 year old and a 2 year old grandchild.
By the time my youngest child finishes school, I would have done the school run for 28 years!

At 40 I had a 16 and 13 year old and a 1 year old!

At 40 I had a a 21 year old, 16 year old, 12 year old and 10 year old.

At 40 I had dc who were 5, 9 and 11.

I’m 42. I have an almost 20, an 18, a 6 and a 4 year old. Had my first at 22 and my last at 38.

still feel in my 20s in my head (not physically though 😅)

When I'm 40 I will have a 20, 15 and 13 year old