Your stage of parenting at 40

[Isthistherealworldisthisjustfantasy]

Where are you at?
How do you feel about it?

I'm 40 and have a young family. I had my last baby last year. Still breastfeeding.

In my mind, I feel like I'm late 20s/early 30s and my stage of parenting kind of fits in with this delusion.

A few days ago, a father and son were on Instagram. The dad was 41 and the son was a big strapping 22 year old man, and at first, my husband (who is 41) was a bit discombobulated. I reminded him that we are old enough to not just have adult children, but grandchildren too. We sat there with our minds blowing. We do understand the maths, obviously, but we feel in such a different stage of life to our biological ages.

We started talking about how a woman has quite a long season where she can potentially get pregnant. I just saw on the news that Natasha Hamilton, who is 41, is pregnant, and I had a moment of feeling a pang of envy before I reminded myself that while I'd love another child, we are stopping at the 3 we have. I know that lots of 40 year old women would be horrified at the thought of pregnancy as their children are teens or adults.

Anyway, I think around 40 is a unique period of time in a woman's life where she can technically be a grandmother and still get pregnant and I was wondering where you all are by 40!

How old are your kids? Have you any grandchildren? Did you have all of your kids when you were young, spread over time or not until later? How would you feel if you got pregnant now? How would you feel if you became a grandmother now? Has anyone experienced both at the same time?

41 with a 13, 11, 8 year old, and a nearly 2 year old.

my elder 3 are from my previous marriage. My 2 year old is my current partners and his first and only child. He’s only 33.

I got sterilised during my fourth c section as we both felt strongly that we were done. Now feel extremely content with what we have.

I turned 40 this year and my kids are turning 17 and 18. I'm also ttc.

Its going to be interesting to say the least!

I kind of felt a bit like you when I was 40. I had just had my first baby and still felt quite young, though obviously knackered, as everyone with a baby is. I then had my second at 45 which was amazing and still felt fairly young though more knackered!!! Obviously I have no grandchildren even though technically I’m old enough to be a GP. Now I’m 68 and my daughter is 27 and my son 22 and I’m feeling a bit crocked in some ways, some of it down to a dodgy knee and back. But honestly, I’m feeling my age some days and definitely more like a GP though I’m not yet one and don’t think I will be for a few years! Let’s hope my daughter doesn’t wait as long as me to have her first baby, otherwise I’ll be completely done in by then!

So I think what I’m saying is that you can have children later in life and still feel relatively young but it can all catch up with you quite quickly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not quite ready for the knackers yard yet but I have slowed down a bit and definitely not in my prime any more!!!

None of which matters of course because the main thing is the life you have and the relationship you have with your kids. Luckily ours is great and hope it always will be. The only thing that makes me a bit sad is that I won’t be the lively, fit and active GP that I thought I would be when they came along. That’s the downside of having children late.

At 40 mine were 16,14,13,11,9 and 3, I've enjoyed every stage tbh aside from my youngest being disabled and all the challenges and hospitalisations that entails.

When im 40 i will have 16 and 14 year olds. In contrast my sibling is 40 ans his partner is expecting.

My SIL is 42 with a 4 and 2 year old

When I'm 40 I will have two sons aged 13.5 and almost 12.

At 36 at present, with my 9 and 7 year old, I'm glad of having started when I did. A close friend has a new baby and I don't envy her doing it now. I feel too tired to cope with a newborn. Likewise I'm glad I had them close together. I look forward to being young when they are off to uni etc.

The downside of having them youngish was that I was working for effectively nothing when they were in nursery as I was early in my career

I was 40 last year.
My children were 25, 22, 21, 16, 15 and 8.

Child free! DD was born when I was 42.

At 40, my dc were 21, 3, and newborn (I won't have any more). My eldest is autistic, so I was focused on his needs throughout his childhood and didn't want other dc at the same time. Had dc2 and dc3 in another relationship. My eldest is unlikely to have his own dc, so although I'm old enough to be a grandma, it's unlikely to happen until the younger dcs have kids.

I feel like a parent of young dc now, and I'm a similar age to most other parents at dc's school (London private school so an affluent group). I'm very active and healthy. But I don't kid myself that I'm like a thirty something. Age catches up with all of us. I like re-living the early childhood years - love taking my dc on days out especially to places that I took dc1 to, 18 years ago! And I'm looking forward to having chilled days once the younger dc are all in school.

At 40, my girls were 17 and 3. I still feel quite young for my age (41) but I'm definitely past having more children. Just because I feel OK just now, doesn't mean I want to be hitting menopause with little kids! Think I'd murder people!

42 with 18 and 23 year olds. I’ve begged ds23 not to make me a grandma until I’m 50! He reminds me I had a 4 year old him at his age. (But I had a home of my own and had just graduated unitversity, he’s graduated in his second job and I still have to remind him to change his bed sheets, put out the rubbish and clean his room 🤣)

I'm 41

DS is 9, DD is 6

I'm glad the very early years are over

I can keep up with the kids but I'm more knackered than I was at 20 that's for sure

I will be 40 in September and I have a 19 year old, 17 year old, 15 year old and 8 year old. My partner would like another child but I am not sure how I feel about having a fifth child. I am at the stage in my life where I would like to get to know myself now.

I'm 34 with 15,13,12 and 6 year old so when I'm 40 they'll be 21 19 18 and 12 ..now at 34 I don't think I could do the baby stage again but everyone's different

29 with a 10/9 and 2 year old and done so when I’m 40 I’ll have a young teen and adults! I feel old beyond my years but that’s because I’ve been a mum from late teens. A heavy job. And I am exhausted.
I love being a mum and I’ll miss it when they grow old but I am looking forward to time to myself!

child free - had mine at 44. Now have 12 year old, plus 2 dsc 11 and 12.

In a few years when I am 40 I will have a 22 year old.
Having her young definitely had its drawbacks and the early years were probably a lot harder than they would have been had I had more of my life together before she arrived but I am currently in my mid 30s with a very capable and mostly independent daughter and its pretty great.

I caught up with a friend from way back and she currently has a two year old and a newborn and as adorable as they were- I have absolutely no desire to go back to that life stage now.
Of course I will love any grandchildren that come along but hopefully that won't be for a good long while

Eldest almost 20 and at uni
Youngest 16 soon starting sixth form
Loving that I can now do my thing and enjoy it as they're able to be more self sufficient, not to mention the eldest is able to drive me around if I want to go out and he's home for holidays!

At 40, I had a 2 year old and a 17 year old! The horror of toddlers and teenagers at the same time. It's no wonder I developed a drinking habit 🙈 They're 9 and 24 now so things are easier (I still like a bottle glass of wine though).

I was a parent to a 10 year old when I was 40.

I’m 40 kids are 19, 16 and 7. I sometimes feel like 40 is nothing and other times I feel about 80 especially as my teens asked me who Take That were the other day when they spotted a one of my old CDs. Fuck my life. 😫

I am 45 in September and my one and only son will be 3 in September. I don't plan to have a baby at 42 and yes it's hard work but I feel incredibly grateful and lucky. Also isn't it hard at any age?!

It's a very individual decision but generally speaking I don't think 40 anything is too old to have a baby and I definitely don't think it should deter someone if that's what they want. My little gremlin keeps me young! Age is meaningless most of the time.

I will hopefully have my first a couple of months after my 41st birthday, if the positive test i had this morning holds!!!

I'll be 40 in a few months and will have a 1 year old, 5 year old and a 17 year old.
I'd love to have more but we couldn't afford to.
I always said 40 would be my personal cut off but I'll admit I would definitely keep extending this if money allowed.
Its funny to think that if DD has her 1st child in say 4-5 years, then I could have grandchildren and still have 2 under 10s at home

I'm 44. I have a 3 and 4 year old. I feel OLD. My 3 year old wakes up several times a night and has done since birth. On a bad night she can wake up hourly on a good one twice. I'm bloody exhused and look fucked.