Decision made, no more funerals

[LongTimeDeaded]

I’m 50 and I have attended my maternal grandparents funerals, my PIL and my SIL and the next funeral I plan being present at is my own. Reading the comments on the post about missing a friend’s funeral I have decided that I am not attending any more, I’ll tell my parents my decision when I see them tomorrow. I find them so upsetting and I struggle to control my emotions, I just don’t want to do it anymore. Has anyone else considered this as a viable option?

I look back at my parents’ funerals, and I certainly don’t think there were any ‘grief vampires’ there - just people who had valued my parents during their lives and who were there for us - it is sad that you have such a low opinion of people, @gamerchick.

@gamerchick do you have no Family that lvve in four corners in the country/world ?

*live

@Goldenboysmum I’m sorry for the loss of your son, and that you were not able to have the funeral you might have wanted because of the pandemic.

Grief vampires were all set to attend dhs just to twist the knife he’d died.

People he actually hated.

I avoided that for him.

Bless you

I find funerals particularly tricky. I think this is partly due to an extremely tragic funeral I went to as a young woman.

I don’t go to funerals for people I’m not very close to. So for example I didn’t go to the funeral of the lovely man who lived over the road (my husband did), but I did go to the funeral of a close friend’s husband. This was to support her, even though I didn’t know him very well.

I went to my grandparents and mother’s funeral. My mother saw me into the world, I think I can see her out.

People turning up are not 'grief vampires'. My mother's cousin drove for six hours to attend my step-father's funeral to show support and love for my mother and the rest of us. There was a group of women in my grandmother's village we referred to as the 'rent-a-mourners' but the truth is they were members of the community who knew everyone and attended to show respect for the dead and the living. Funerals are about showing love, comfort and support to the living, as much as saying goodbye to the dead.

Do as you please, OP, although I think it's all a bit 'Oh, but what about me?' which is a bit pathetic.