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Original poster

My beloved husband just bought me beautiful earrings

368 replies

AvaCallanach · 18/07/2023 21:49

He really did buy me beautiful earrings for my birthday. This is not a complaint. It makes me smile. He tries so hard. He took the kids shopping, did me proud.

But bless him, he bought these beautiful earrings which he has bought me 4 times before. Twice in blue, twice in green. This is the third blue pair. They are obviously his style!

He adores me ( played me To The End by Blur after work, we are off on holiday without the kids next week). I love him. He's wonderful. But why can't he remember these earrings and yet keep choosing them, lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
AvaCallanach · 19/07/2023 08:49

I wear the earring often btw, but they are delicate and my hair is big, long and wild so they are easily missed!

OP posts:
mirax · 19/07/2023 08:52

CollagenQueen · 19/07/2023 08:37

I can't believe that anyone could write this off as "cute" or "funny". You wouldn't find it endearing if a woman did it, so why is it minimised when a man does it?

He's spending enough to feed a family for a fortnight, on earrings that aren't even from a jewellers. He seems to have no memory of buying them before (worrying). You must never wear them, or worse - he never notices what you wear. You've presumably told him 4 times now, that he has duplicated the gift, but he doesn't listen to you.

It just shows a complete lack of care and extreme laziness from someone who has more money than sense. If he's holding down a good job, he's not Forest Gump. He just cant be bothered to get a suitable gift. Probably a panic buy the day before your birthday. I would be absolutely livid.

Do it with your husband, stop telling other women what they should do with theirs (whom they know much better).
The cost of the present is not relevant to this family, as they can afford it, so virtue signalling that it could have fed a family for a fortnight or linking it to the cost of living crisis is crass.

Tahitiansummer · 19/07/2023 08:57

The cost of the present is not relevant to this family, as they can afford it, so virtue signalling that it could have fed a family for a fortnight or linking it to the cost of living crisis is crass.

I agree. Some people are rich and enjoy spending their money. So much bitterness on this threat.

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Clothing
Creamcakeandrhinos · 19/07/2023 08:59

Mirax

you sound like a really lovely person

Twazique · 19/07/2023 09:03

John Lewis has a sale on at the moment, if they let you return them you might do quite well!

WolfFoxHare · 19/07/2023 09:03

AvaCallanach · 18/07/2023 22:40

I just told him. He says he has the receipt and we can switch them. Apparently the older pairs were less expensive.

I like the earrings, that's not the issue!

It's because they're white gold (they look like silver so that's why people are shocked at the price). Gold has shot up in price over the last couple of years, like a crazy amount.

AWholeExtraRoom · 19/07/2023 09:05

To be honest if he's genuinely excited ever time he gives you these and you genuinely think it's not coming from a place of lack of care, I just think this is one of those quite funny/ ridiculous things in life I'd make a joke of.

Fallenangelofthenorth · 19/07/2023 09:06

Wow some of the responses on this thread! So much nastiness and bitterness...

@AvaCallanach They are beautiful earrings and I can see why you like them. I don't think your husband is a selfish bastard who's setting fire to money that could be used to install a well in a remote village. I find it very easy to buy people duplicate gifts, but maybe that's because I'm also a selfish bastard who is probably suffering from early onset dementia. Oh well...

WolfFoxHare · 19/07/2023 09:06

Also, they're E W Adams, and sold in many jewellers as well as John Lewis.

MrsMarzetti · 19/07/2023 09:07

Leave all 5 pairs lined up on your dressing table or his bedside table.

caringcarer · 19/07/2023 09:11

AvaCallanach · 18/07/2023 22:22

I can as long as they haven't been worn? Can't I?

Show quote history

No you can't, shops don't take back earnings for hygiene reasons as they would not know if you'd worn them or not. They are very pretty though. Just show him the earrings and say you'd like ruby ones next time.

CollagenQueen · 19/07/2023 09:13

AvaCallanach · 19/07/2023 08:47

@glitterbumps Lol, I am not young.

@CollagenQueen How can you be livid? Genuinely? Baffled at his lack of recall of what he has previously bought, yes, but how livid? I don't understand that.

Your more money than sense quip is quite mean spirited isn't it? The issue would be the same if every pair of earrings cost 1.99. we are old, we have both worked for many years raising a family, we had nothing at all once upon a time, then very little for many years. How my husband chooses to spend the money he has earned is up to him. None of us is hungry or unclothed. Yes we are lucky in that respect. If you are young, once, like us, you have worked hard for 35 years you'll probably have a better financial buffer.

I don't know, maybe I'm just not as tolerant, but I'd be so mad with DH if he spent over £1000 on duplicate earrings. It's just seems so frivolous. And yes, thoughtless. I have actually been working for 37 years myself, and could afford the earrings no bother, but that's not the point. But good on you for seeing the funny side.

BillyNoM8s · 19/07/2023 09:15

The cost is irrelevant. I'd be just as hurt if I kept being bought the same expensive thing as cheap thing. Some woman I know is gifted the same perfume every single Christmas. Sure, she likes it, but bloody hell. I'd use it as a weapon after 15 years.

Lots of people seem to think it's thoughtful, because silly DH has remembered some small crumb of information of what his wife might like. To me it just smacks of not knowing your partner very well at all. Which I'd find thoughtless and insulting.

But if OP is happy then I guess it doesn't really matter.

If I genuinely didn't remember buying my DH the same thing 5 times, I'd be worried to be honest.

PegasusReturns · 19/07/2023 09:16

Totally agree with @MySoCalledWife there’s nothing endearing about a grown man’s total inability to purchase a suitable present for his wife.

these men (and I’ve known many!) who have big jobs, where they grapple with complex ideas and perform well for other men, don’t fail at these domestic tasks for any other reason than it’s just not sufficiently important.

Shodan · 19/07/2023 09:18

Op if you can't return them, you can have all the spares reset to form one big and beautiful green and blue pendant. Then you'd have a necklace that would go with both sets of earrings!

BillyNoM8s · 19/07/2023 09:21

Shodan · 19/07/2023 09:18

Op if you can't return them, you can have all the spares reset to form one big and beautiful green and blue pendant. Then you'd have a necklace that would go with both sets of earrings!

A charm bracelet might be more prudent, so she can keep adding to it each year.

EBearhug · 19/07/2023 09:21

Go on, everyone, own up, when did you last clean your

Yesterday. I bought some new ones, and I always clean the bit through the ear on new earrings, because you don't know who might have handled them. And as I was there, I did the shafts on other pairs I've worn recently. I often buff the silver ones, too, with a silver cloth, because they tarnish, and while they aren'tbad enough they go black, thry get dull st times..

caringcarer · 19/07/2023 09:22

Give them to your DD.

IveHadItUpToHere · 19/07/2023 09:23

I almost did this with a friend's DD. Luckily I was ordering online and could check past orders before I clicked buy. Otherwise I wouldn't have realised that I'd sent her the exact same present before.

farmerswife7 · 19/07/2023 09:26

He does sound nice. He is going and getting something you like every time but forgetting that he already has bought it. I'm with DH 13 years I honestly have forgotten half the things I have bought him over the years.

Maybe in the run up to your next birthday/ anniversary/ Christmas say 'No more earrings please I have plenty' I had to say and remind that I didn't want any more 'mummy is the best/ special etc' things that I loved the ones I had but had no where else to put the other ones. I do like 1 of them but I really don't want anymore but I know he buys them to show he cares.

I'm also not sure you can return them, you might have got lucky the last time. Worth a try though but be prepared they might not take them.

KingKhazi · 19/07/2023 09:26

Nagado · 19/07/2023 06:20

That’s a bit unnecessary, don’t you think? She’s said she loves the earrings, so why try and belittle her taste in jewellery just because they aren’t your cup of tea?

Show quote history

I wasn't. They are lovely. Just don't look like they are worth that amount of money..I'm not the only one who has said so.

MonsterCalling · 19/07/2023 09:29

It's never been possible to return pierced earrings to John Lewis, even if unworn. They are explicitly proscribed in the returns policy. OP must have got lucky with a clueless shop assistant if she's absolutely sure she has returned a pair in the past.

Regift one of the duplicate pairs and tell him, OP!

Ramanama · 19/07/2023 09:34

I own a jewellery shop and this happens all the time!! Especially after Christmas we have lots of women returning items that their husbands have bought for them before. Also quite common is husbands buying earrings for partners who dont have pierced ears!

LookWhosInsideAgain · 19/07/2023 09:35

I’m sure I read this thread a few years ago - OP got the same gift from husband several years in a row, claims her dh is brilliantly loving but the only example she gives of him being lovely is him playing a random song to her after work.

If your dh doesn’t have neurological problems I think I must do.

HideousKinky · 19/07/2023 09:36

Before your birthday comes round next year, you need to lay out in front of him ALL the ones he has bought you already to remind him not to buy the same thing again!

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