My beloved husband just bought me beautiful earrings

[AvaCallanach]

He really did buy me beautiful earrings for my birthday. This is not a complaint. It makes me smile. He tries so hard. He took the kids shopping, did me proud.

But bless him, he bought these beautiful earrings which he has bought me 4 times before. Twice in blue, twice in green. This is the third blue pair. They are obviously his style!

He adores me ( played me To The End by Blur after work, we are off on holiday without the kids next week). I love him. He's wonderful. But why can't he remember these earrings and yet keep choosing them, lol.

You definitely won’t be able to return them I’m afraid.

No, he went to John Lewis, took the kids. I just had a quiet word with my teen daughter to tell her to steer him to different jewellery next time! She will remember....!

You are lucky to have a husband who gets it right, albeit several times, I got my wife a customised Hetty vacuum cleaner with her name on it instead of Hetty, Brilliant!!! or not as it turns out, no chance i'll be buying that again🙁

My DH has managed to buy me the same book for Christmas two years running. For at least a decade he would also buy me a box of Thorntons chocolates, despite me telling him that I didn't much like them, and would prefer literally any other sort. I eventually managed to curtail that, only for DD's DP to start buying them for me instead. 😂

No...when I showed him the other pair of blue earrings he was surprised and said they must be different because whilst he had bought earrings at JL before, they cost much less (150 iirc correctly from the pair I returned...was that pre COVID?)

He recalled buying me earrings at JL before and the price range they were in, knew these were more, and so surmised they would be different.

He could be forgiven if lack of thoughtfulness was just in a gift department.

Does he otherwise pay attention to you and do you feel seen and appreciated?
He sounds pretty busy...

@Troyton that’s hilarious! Did she hit you over the head with it or stick the long bit where the sun don’t shine?

I feel this — My DH has essentially bought me the same necklace three times. Glad I’m not the only one suffering 😂

Aw. I have no useful ideas but he does sound very sweet at heart.

You must feel slightly annoyed if it prompted you to send a post on mumsnet

My solution (if you can't exchange them - which might well be the case) is to ask for a white gold chain next year....then you can get them attached to a chain so you have a matching necklace...?

I'm quite baffled at how he could buy the same thing 5 times without noticing. I mean if it was a consumable like perfume, toiletries or chocolate then yeah but jewellery....?

I guess it's a bit like if I bought him a guitar (something he likes, but I don't particularly care about). I would remember that I bought "a guitar" and that it cost 500 quid (say) but I wouldn't recall much more about it, acoustic or electric yes but not the brand or specifications.
Maybe that's how we got here
I could see myself potentially buying "a guitar" I might think he would like, then returning years later to buy another guitar knowing he still likes them, and ending up with something very similar as I wouldn't necessarily recall the finer points of the guitar, just that I bought what I thought he would like within a particular specification (he wants an electric guitar = she liked silver dangly earrings and she likes blue a lot, probably)

@Earrings

envious or what?

No, he went to John Lewis, took the kids. I just had a quiet word with my teen daughter to tell her to steer him to different jewellery next time! She will remember....!

So your teen DD can be expected to remember, but your DH can't?

Ha ha!
It may yet come to that!

I only realised I’d sent my sil the same birthday card three years running when I looked at my Moonpig purchase history. I just thought it was a nice card. Every time. I doubt she even noticed though!

?

No idea what you mean

@AvaCallanach

Now that you've explained it, using the guitar analogy, I can kind of understand!

Anyway, you told him, he's ok about it - and it's really unlikely to happen again!

I hope he's correct, that you can exchange?

Love the necklace idea.
Makes me think of the Joan Aiken story about a necklace of raindrops

They are lovely earrings though! That’s be my style too, but one pair would be plenty!

Yes because it's salient for her
I think that's what it is.
Like my teen DS asks for a particular vinyl album, I have no idea about the obscure music he likes, so I wouldn't necessarily remember the exact album I already bought him, though I would remember that I had bought him a vinyl album.
I could easily buy him the same album twice now I think about it (perhaps not 5 times, lol) if it stayed on his birthday list.
I maybe need to specify "gold coloured earrings with a red stone" or whatever next time
DH obviously thinks of me as silver and bluey/green.

None of this is about him not bothering. There is no question that he makes every effort to make the day special.

Obvious answer is to pierce your ears another four times.

Well you're clearly a nicer person than me, cos I don't think it's sweet or endearing. It's lazy to repeatedly buy the same gift (even if you think it's slightly different) and inattentive to not notice that you already have, and presumably wear, the exact same pair (and their non identical twin).

Presumably he manages not to be this incompetent in his high up job?

You usually can't return earrings.

Not annoyed - more flabbergasted as to how he can keep doing it - but having thought about salience and if I was buying him a guitar I can kind of see how it happened now.

I need to provide better guidance to avoid pair #6 next year :D

@AvaCallanach

Just want to say I admire your good humour & even-temperedness. It's great you chatted to DH & things are ok!