My beloved husband just bought me beautiful earrings

[AvaCallanach]

He really did buy me beautiful earrings for my birthday. This is not a complaint. It makes me smile. He tries so hard. He took the kids shopping, did me proud.

But bless him, he bought these beautiful earrings which he has bought me 4 times before. Twice in blue, twice in green. This is the third blue pair. They are obviously his style!

He adores me ( played me To The End by Blur after work, we are off on holiday without the kids next week). I love him. He's wonderful. But why can't he remember these earrings and yet keep choosing them, lol.

He sounds like a sweetheart TBH. He thinks you really like them. They are rather nice. Maybe he's short on ideas for you, so give him some for other things you'd like. My partner keeps ON buying me very expensive liberty flowery shirts. They make me look 90. Last birthday I told him I was changing it and got the most gorgeous jumper that I really like.

You don't need to defend your relationship from Internet strangers. I guess there's some people who either on the one hand have perfect partners and on the other ones so imperfect that they can't see how this blind spot re earrings may be baffling but it's really not indicative of any problem in your relationship.

Your DH obviously cares about you - he just doesn't care about earrings other than being somewhat aware you wear them and that sort of thing looks nice on you. (Fwiw I don't have pierced ears but if I did I'd love a pair each of blue and green)

DH's interpretation is that it's about being on your deathbed looking back wistfully over a relationship that has had its ups and downs but ultimately has "made it to the end" because it was experienced by a couple who, in the end, for all their flaws were "collapsed in love". It might well be the wrong meaning but that's the spirit in which he experiences it.

Oh bless him! This is exactly the kind of thing my lovely Dad did to my mum. Not a sign of thoughtlessness, just a bad memory for things that he didn’t ‘get’ (like clothes and jewellery). And yes, from late teenage years onwards I was enlisted to help him! Your husband sounds like a lovely chap, op, and you are going to build up a good jewellery collection it sounds like 😊

It’s nice that it doesn’t bother me, think I’d be the same the 2nd and 3rd time but 5 times is really odd to me and would freak me out a bit

Wear one of each colour in the weeks running up to your birthday next year and find out what happens!

Show him all the pairs and say NO MORE EARRINGS

If you kept one pair and got the rest re-made into a droplet necklace, that would look beautiful. But you have to say something to him, or you are going to have a second necklace! My commiserations, my DH is also useless. After a few years of truly shitty presents, I now buy my own and he wraps them, so the kids think it is a surprise! I have no intentions of leaving him and we have been very happily married for 23 years!

Just before next birthday, remind him how much you loved your earrings in blue and green (maybe don't point out you have TWO pairs of each, to be tactful) and hope he gets something just as nice this year. Or steer him slightly, eg towards necklaces?

Och I do love a good blessing~curse, such a neglected art 😍

Suggest he goes to Liberty next time to find something 'special and different'?. With that budget he'll find something amazing there.

I had the same pj’s bought me two years running. I’d been in the first pair Christmas Eve and he hadn’t twigged Christmas Day when I opened them 🤦‍♀️

Hi @AvaCallanach, some folks seem to be deliberately obtuse! You DH sounds lovely and little tale is nothing but a hand slaps face moment! 🙄Your husband went out, spent money he could afford on something he probably thought was similar to earrings he had seen you wear #the other 6000 pairs and thought he’d done a good thing. Poor lovely slightly dopey bloke.
Obviously you should now LTB….

@AvaCallanach I think your posts are lovely 🤗

Relationship goals as they say!

They’re non refundable.

https://www.johnlewis.com/e-w-adams-9ct-white-gold-aquamarine-teardrop-earrings-white-gold-blue/p57893

I feel you @AvaCallanach I have been with DH for 30 years, and for my birthday, (and Christmas,) he buys me (every single time,) the following...

A bottle of wine
A DVD
A CD
A book
A box of chocolates
A soft toy
A pair of gloves, a scarf, or some socks.

Every single time, he says 'now you have something to drink, something to watch, something to listen to, something to read, something to eat, something to cuddle, and something to wear.' He always has a massive beaming smile when he says this, and looks so excited, like it's a really original idea, and the first time he's ever done it...

The CD and DVD and book are never anything I have asked for.

I wish he would think outside the box, and buy some earrings, or a necklace, or some perfume, or a nice top or something. Or even book a nice romantic weekend in London and book a show, or a trip to Paris or Rome. It's the same old stuff every single time. And I have to pretend to be excited. 🙄

A few weeks before he asks me what I want, and I say 'oooh something different. Different to what you usually buy. Maybe some jewellery, or perfume, or a nice weekend break in Europe!'

Nope. I just get the same stuff every time.

I suppose I should be grateful, as some women get nothing, but it does get tedious. Especially as he spends quite a bit of money on stuff I don't want, don't ask for, and don't need.

If I want any perfume or jewellery I have to buy it myself...

Off the subject OP but I love your username

I was expecting this thread to be a love actually Emma Thompson scenario. Poor form for OP to wax lyrical about how she loves her husband even despite his earring fixation. Not very Mumsnet at all.

That song is not a break-up song.🙄
It would say something like 'we didn't make it to the end' otherwise. And the whole vibe and context is about how they've lasted.

Perhaps this is the go to gift recommendation by the lady on the John Lewis counter!

You both sound adorable ❤️

Years ago, early December we were in Waterstones and I pointed to a book and said 'Whatever you get me at Christmas, I don't want that', we always bought each other a book. Come the 25th there it was, when I mentioned our earlier conversation his excuse was 'Oh, I knew you'd mentioned it!' . He'd also lost the receipt and it was in the sale after Christmas so i only got the sale price as a refund!

Please please please pierce your ears another four times and wear them all!!!!

Sell them on ebay.

Why can't you talk to him, tell him they're the same as before?