Work letter of concern

[TD7]

Does a letter of concern from work mean you will be sacked my anxiety is through the roof

Thankyou so much for your reply I suffer severe anxiety which I have now got help for as it rules my life I hate how it makes me act and feel even though I’m 56 I should have not lived like this all my life when there is help,out there it’s an awful condition and it makes others around you feel anxious so I need to sort it out but the worry about this letter will stay with me for the next 6 as I’ve got a review meeting …do you think that’s to see how I’ve been getting on

Yes. It will be to see what steps you have or you're going to put in place to make sure there's no recurrence of the behaviour that led to the letter of concern.

Wishing you luck with tackling your anxiety.

Thankyou so much x

OP.
Try not to worry - you now have a plan to address the concerns:

1. You've seen your GP in relation to your anxiety.
2. You've started on medication.
3. You (by the time you have the meeting) will be able to demonstrate that you will not shout / over react to colleagues if they behave badly.
4. Part of the plan should also include you asking your employer to ensure that "banter" does not include you being targeted in any way by that colleague. No removing of personal items etc. You will guarantee to your employer that you will respond calmly to all conversations, your employer needs to ensure that conversations in the work place are work appropriate.

As long as there are no complaints about work related issues (following rules, hygiene, safety etc ) then this should be straightforward .

Try to enjoy your break.

No - it’s essentially (in my experience) formally noting that a discussion has taken place about your behaviour. If further concerns are raised it can be used. I think though unlike warnings etc which usually stay on your HR record for 2 years letters of concern aren’t removed.

re the pen. It may have been an over reaction but if this is a long line of being wound up when you are clearly distressed is there potential you are being bullied? In my work place banter is only banter if accepted on both sides. If one party is clearly upset it is persistent/ regular it would be bullying. If this is the case consider raising a grievance as it clearly impacting your MH

Can you explain better I don’t understand your post are you saying the letter of concern is something to worry about

No I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I would really have a think about addressing the issues which caused your reaction - either your mental health or potential bullying.

I’d want something on record about the lead-up to this. Someone was intentionally causing you distress. Your reaction may have been poor, but you were definitely being bullied.

How did the Dr appt go?

What steps are you taking to help with your anxiety?

You had a letter of concern. ACAS have told you what that means. You are not in a formal disciplinary process. Well done for contacting ACAS as this means you have got the correct information. Knowledge is power!

It would be such a shame to let one post on this thread about a friend of a MNetter, whose actual circumstances we know nothing about, get in the way of all you found out yesterday.

You have taken some excellent steps already - contacting ACAS, seeing your GP, starting medication - take heart from all the other people here, many of whom have experience of the HR process and have reassured you on that side of things, and others who know just how horrible anxiety can be and are wishing you well in your efforts to combat this.

You will not be dismissed at the review meeting. You can’t be. There are things they have to do before they can dismiss you e.g informing you that the meeting could lead to dismissal. The previous posters friend could have been in probation or have less than 2 years service - these do not apply for you.

Hi Alice I have medication which I have started I’m getting counciling and I’m going back to the drs next week also having a blood test to see why I’m so hyperactive to it’s all positive Thankyou so much for asking xx

Thankyou so much for your support x

Do you think the review meeting is to see how I’m getting on with my mental health and a process …I was worried I may get a letter before I return to work saying it was a disciplinary meeting

Yes, I would expect it is to check on you and how things are going.

The issue has been dealt with by the issuing of a letter of concern, they can’t now change their mind and take disciplinary action over the same event.

Thankyou for your reply are you absolutely sure about that it would make me feel better if you are

I have been in HR for around 25 years with the last 3 years working in or with schools and advising on disciplinaries etc.

Once an issue has been dealt with either informally or formally, they can’t then change their minds and decide to take further action for the same event. They can only move to a disciplinary if another event arises at a later date.

Oh ok so after a letter of concern they cannot now say it’s a disciplinary….what is the review meeting when I go back to work ? Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply

Sorry you already answered that …I just thought maybe at the meeting they would say it’s noe a disciplinary

@TD7, this post from @daisybrown37 tells you exactly where you stand:

I have been in HR for around 25 years with the last 3 years working in or with schools and advising on disciplinaries etc.

Once an issue has been dealt with either informally or formally, they can’t then change their minds and decide to take further action for the same event. They can only move to a disciplinary if another event arises at a later date.

Any time your anxiety tries to trick you into all sorts of “yes, but…” or “what if…” stuff, go back and read it again. It is absolutely clear that you are not at risk of losing your job at the meeting when term starts again.

I wish you all the best with the counselling when it starts, and hope the medication kicks in as soon as possible. You’ve made a really good start here, in distressing circumstances, so you can feel chuffed about yourself for that!

Thankyou so much x

So is a letter of concern different from a disciplinary

@TD7 you have been told many times that it is and you are not facing a disciplinary. You have to take that at face value and stop the repeated questions trying to find someone to agree with your catastrophising.

I totally understand when you are in a panic the OCD / obsessive thought loops take over but you have to learn to break this pattern as this will cause far more impact on your ability to perform in the workplace than shouting at a colleague.
I was like you for years so believe me I know what a hellscape your brain is right now and I’m not saying this to kick you when you are down.

Unfortunately no one can provide the reassurance you are desperate for when you are in this mindset so you have to learn to do it yourself.

I found this website a great help in learning how to calm the obsessive thoughts ;

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/stopp.htm

I know i know ….I actually know I’m doing this and need to break this vicious cycle I know a lot of ppl will never understand but it’s good that there are ppl who do who have been through this like yourself I’m going to try harder plus the medication has already taken the edge off Thankyou I will look at these sites and others I have been shown Thankyou

It’s a horrible condition and unless you’ve lived it it’s so hard to know just how all consuming the thoughts can be but it can be brought under control, I promise @TD7.

When I was at my worst I felt like I had gone totally mad and could never see a time when I wouldn’t be like that but it does change.
I still have odd moments of anxiety and it almost feels comfortable to go back to being obsessive and seeing the worst but it’s like a habit now to break the thought loops before they settle in and take over.
Good luck!