Work letter of concern

[TD7]

Does a letter of concern from work mean you will be sacked my anxiety is through the roof

May I just add the HRT suggestion to the others you've had? Extreme anxiety is v common in peri and menopause. Your GP might prefer antidepressants but med guidelines are to go for HRT in these cases.

if this is the case, then the OP is owed a little more explanation from her manager than it was just ‘banter’ - this leaves room for the OP’s assumption that she was the butt of the joke to continue. I take your point that at this stage it remains unclear, but again, that’s why I think it’s really unfortunate that school is now closed for the summer and things can’t be cleared up more quickly.

No he was laughing at me I asked why do you keep laughing at me he kept saying you’re going to find out soon …that’s why I reacted when the pen was gone

I'd start looking for a new job. This is bullying and as you say, your manager favours this young lad over you. Don't put yourself through the anxiety all summer, it will ruin your time off. There are so many jobs out there in the catering industry that you could apply for. I'd leave. As soon as a job no longer makes you happy, I leave.

I’ve has extreme anxiety all my life it’s not the menopause but I guess is doesn’t help

A letter of concern normally follows an allegation from another member of staff, most likely the one you raised your voice to.
I can understand your anxiety but honestly, if they were going to sack you, steps would have been taken already, so don't be anxious about this.
The person you shouted at also needs to realise the consequences of their actions, so it's not all on you.

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned it but have your written down exactly what happened so that you have a good record of it.
Are your employers aware of your anxiety?

I’m the one who got the letter somebody rang speak up anonymously…and yes they know I suffer anxiety

Saying it's banter sou ds very much like your manager not wanting to address what is possible bullying.

Agree with posters that you will be fine and this is not going to make them sack you.

I would, however, strongly recommend that you join a Union for any future advice,( particularly as you are in your 50s and no doubt thinking about retirement provision). They are the experts and will have dealt with every sort of work place problem. A problem shared is a problem halved. They will have your back.

Unison, I believe, is the union for people like you in public services, schools, voluntary sector etc. Do you know if people you work with are in this union or maybe another, Unite possibly.?

Ring them today 0800 0857 857 or join on line unison.org.uk. The monthly subscription is on a sliding scale according to how much you earn so eg £20,001- £25,000 £14 pm, £25,001-£30,000 £17.25 pm. ( This incudes all sorts of members benefits ( financial support for learning, legal services, pension advice, discounts etc .)

If at any time in the future you need a 'friend' to attend a hearing with you or you have a problem at work or need advice they will be there for you. They are very used to mediating between people.

I'm so sorry op this is an awful situation for you. I'm pleased you are seeing the doctor & taking active steps for your mental health. Do you have a husband, partner, family who can support you? When my anxiety gets out of control I unload to my husband who can apply rational interpretation of the situation that my anxiety gets out of proportion.
I can identify with the disappearance of the pen, it is bullying behaviour. Hope you feel better after your appointment with your doctor. 💐

I’m going to call Acas for advise anyone else used them

Yes, I always call ACAS for any work related issue, I find them very helpful.

Acas said the letter of concern should be the end of it as long as it doesn’t happen again as the letter of concern states if I don’t improve a disciplinary could take place so that mean if I don’t improve right ?

Hope that's put your mind at ease.
Maybe take some time to do what others have suggested - write down what happened as clearly and factually as you can.
Say what he said / did that made you feel bullied / stressed etc. Then put it away. It's just there as a record for you IF you ever need it.
Hopefully a good rest during the summer, some help from your GP will result in you going back in September feeling more confident and able to deal with what comes your way.

I hope I don’t now get a letter saying it’s a disciplinary I’m still very anxious I won’t enjoy the next 6 weeks with all the worry my boss is back just over a week from her holiday I will have to ask am I losing my job I can’t go 6 weeks I just cannot Ty everyone for putting up with me going around in circles

You clearly haven't bothered to read the thread or you would appreciate that this isn't just about "what more reassurance do you need", it's about talking @TD7 down from a severe anxiety attack. There isn't necessarily a linear path to reassurance, it's a steady process.

@TD7 I would like to think that even though your manager doesn't seem particularly supportive, she will know where to stay the right side of the line as regards your employment rights are concerned. Perhaps an element of the Letter of Concern includes concern about your mental health and anxiety condition. If it has been generally acknowledged that you suffer from anxiety it could help you to shore up your defences by stating that your condition is a disability. This means they would be very very unwise to do anything that might be classed as discriminatory under the Equality Act, which is very appropriate given that vile individual was taunting and goading you.

i think the reality is there is no set way of you "improving" other than grey rocking the vile one so they don't get to you, easier said than done I know. They will struggle to be able to qualify what exactly they mean by "improve" other than not reacting to someone who is in danger of breaching U.K. employment law and they are condoning and allowing it as the employer. Don't let go of your strong employment record, you have protection, so stand firm.

I'd:

• seek counselling help or gp or both
• start sending loads of CVs just in case ( apply for better paid / prospects job so you'll be better off in general, check glassdoor website for reviews of potential new workplace)

....sometimes it happen when you change environment all the worries and weird situations/ colleagues disappear. work culture sounds v poor at the current place you work at.

My friend had a warning, 6 weeks later she hd review meeting she thought they will say all is good and they sacked her instead so yeah I'd be prepared , again - just in case.

good luck and try not to worry as it does mot help, quite opposite. you need to take action instead of worrying , I know its easier said than done but you can do it @TD7

Dominica what had your friend done

This last post with you Dominica has really not helped last thing I wanted to read my anxiety is racing again …did your friend receive a letter of concern first telling her improvements needed I’ve worked for this company for 18 years no time off ect what was your friends circumstances

Dominica says her friend had had a warning. You haven't had a warning, you've had a letter of concern. They're two different things.

Listen to ACAS.
You won't get a letter saying it's a disciplinary.
You're fine.
Please seek more help for your anxiety.
Stop looking for reasons to be in the shit. You're not. You're fine.
Try to enjoy your holiday.

I’ve got a review meeting in 6 weeks too this is why I’m now worrying as Doninkkas friend had this too …mine was a letter of concern in the first instance omg will it turn to a disciplinary…I got medication yesterday but will take a while to kick in I’m so scared I’m going to lose my job I’m at my whits end it’s my anxiety that makes me like this but if I lose my job I won’t be able to cope mentally

Dominikka was your friends case a disciplinary

Do you really think it’s two different things mine is a warning with key points to improve which I’ve been to the drs to get help it says at the bottom of my letter please bear in mind that formal disciplinary action may be taken should your conduct /performance not improve to the required standard so does this mean I have a chance

It's definitely 2 different things.
A letter of concern is just that. You need to improve the behaviour. If you do you're fine.

If you don't improve and continue with the concerning behaviour then another disciplinary process would likely start, and a potential outcome of the disiplinary process could be, but wouldn't necessarily be dismissal. It would depend on the severity of the issue leading to the need for the disciplinary. Alternatively it could be a written warning, or a final written warning.

Dominkaa clearly says her friend had a warning, so she was going through a different disciplinary process to you.

Do not compare your situation to the one Dominkaa is mentioning.
Please try to calm down.
You are fine.