Jonah Hill - wtf?!

[Frankola]

I know there's a lot of other scandal going around this week 😬 but has anyone else been watching the Jonah Hill story unfold?

His ex girlfriend, a surfer named Sarah Brady, has come forward with a load of texts and screenshots sent to her by Jonah during their relationship (and afterwards) where he seems to show himself as an absolute narcissistic, emotional abuser. Telling her she wasn't allowed to surf with men, she needed to remove any photos of her in a swimsuit from her socials, and that if she didn't do this she was breaking his 'safe boundaries' and disrespecting him blah blah blah...

Unbelievable!

It’s a wonder none of their friends suggested that being in weekly therapy for months in a relationship that lasted a year might have been the sign this wasn’t a very healthy relationship for either of them.

Maybe that’s why he was trying to isolate her from her friends..

Yes it can be. Attitudes like yours are why coercive control had to be made a specific criminal offence so people couldn’t keep claiming that “asking” (manipulating) isn’t abuse.

Innapropriate friendships with the opposite sex would be a deal breaker for me too.

I personally think that spelling out what you want from a partner is fine. We might not agree with some of what he wants but everyone is different.

@SaturdayGiraffe oh..he's a homophobic idiot as well 🙄 what a piece of 💩

Good article here too: all adds up to sound very controlling and totally the ‘mr sensitive’ abusive type: https://www.nme.com/news/film/jonah-hill-ex-girlfriend-sarah-brady-allegations-emotionally-abusive-3466903

This type of belief is scary.

While I'm sure there are some women who will tell their partners not to do things, they also aren't in healthy relationships.
I've never dictated to DH what job he has, who he hangs out with or when he exercises.

Setting boundaries is one thing, telling someone what they can and can't do is another entirely

Men don't just lay all they cards out in the beginning. It's insidious. It's starts like this, it's just 'boundaries', then escalates.

Bet when he told her if she wanted to continue doing those things that they'd have to end it, he didn't expect her to say bye. Luckily she was resilient. A less secure women would have obliged.

@SoWhatEh don't worry too much about @onefinemess - they earlier asserted that Sarah wasn't abused because she wasn't beaten 🤦‍♀️

Just because she was able to walk away from this relationship doesn't mean his behaviour wasn't a massive red flag.

Don't get with someone and then try to change them. Stupid really. Get with people who you actually like and share values with.

Quite odd (telling?) that his partner is dressed the same as him there...

Boundaries he was happy with when he slid into her DMs on Instagram before they started dating

And the less secure woman would have given up her job, her following, her friends, her hobby and in just a short space of time, she's lost herself and feels like she can't leave the relationship because what does she have left? She's trapped.

Yea...not abusive in the slightest eh?

@SaturdayGiraffe @Fiflaboeuf I view that photo of them in matching suits very very differently now I've seen these articles.

A shapeless, baggy mens suit. On a woman who has never worn anything remotely like it before. Matching her boyfriend.

Doesn't hit the same now. Kind of makes my skin crawl actually.

Reading some of these posts genuinely makes me concerned for some women if they believe this man's behaviour is acceptable 🤷‍♀️

@Cas112 see that's funny because you said instagram but somebody else said twitter which shows you can't believe everything you read.

Although, you're right. If its what attracted to him in the first place it's pretty shitty of him to then use it against her.

Also, my comment was only based on the OP. The subsequent messages OP has posted paint a pretty ugly picture.

Yes, I thought that. It's like he doesn't want her to be her own person. He wanted her be a little copy of him.

Absolutely nothing wrong with her outfit but it's obvious which one of them picked it out first. And how convenient that it's completely covering her from head to toe and androgynous.

Here's the outfit for anyone who hasn't seen it.

Well said. Horrible post by that poster.

And now I look at it more closely, she seems to have a third button at the top which isn't on the suit as it was designed.

Never heard of him before but just googled.

He's quite unattractive, to say the least. Very low-class and tacky, not a good body and mediocre features at best. Given that he should consider himself lucky that any woman gives him the time of day. She certainly can do a lot better.

Jesus your bar is low. He's trying to control her job and social life. How is that not abuse?

Someone posted this great thread discussing the issue of men who pursue women based on certain attributes then want to change those very attitudes once they're 'theirs'

twitter.com/unamcilvenna/status/1678290767935336450?s=46&t=xHDGMVL4Qm3-Yjbyrf700g

Someone can break up with another for any reason they choose, doesn't Mumsnet say?

So often we think we know how we'd feel in a situation, to then experience it and feel something else entirely.

We are only in control of ourselves. We do not get to decide if another person's boundary is rational or not. We can discuss it, sure. Aim for compromise .He has communicated his boundary.

I'm not saying either are right or wrong, but she has no more right to declare he be ok with things and stay with her than he does she stops and stay together. They have split. Then they are not compatible.

Note -im only going of the given exchange in the OP. Surely if neither are becoming their best version of themselves it's best they split. Abuse and control is thrown away far too loosely it takes its real value away.