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Original poster

Reported DS to the police and worrying I’ve made a huge mistake.

232 replies

Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 03:41

I found a large amount of cannabis on my DS today. Way too much for personal use.
I reported it to to the police.

I feel terrible and worry that I’ve done the wrong thing. But I don’t know what else to do.

It’s a really long story but a month ago I had to leave our property with my DCs on advice of the police for our safety due to a video circulating online with our address attached and instructions for retaliation. DS would not give any names of any people involved.

we came home after a week when the police deemed it safe.

DS has received multiple threats of violence and death. And we have had target hardening measures and letterbox protectors installed.

He has been extremely anxious since and is completely convinced that he will be stabbed by these people threatening him who he claims not to know. Won’t give any names to either me or the police.

DS hadn’t been able to leave the house since, and on the one time he did 2 weeks ago (I left him at my sisters) he had 2 men in balaclavas coming in a car for him, he managed to get inside my sisters house. They were angry and came back 3 times apparently. I looked through his phone and it appears that a ‘friend’ had asked him for his whereabouts just before. DS said that it was probably coincidence but seems terrified.

He has 2 friends that he has known since around Christmas time who I have never met and he is very secretive about. He started skipping school a lot around the same time that he met them. I believe they are slightly older than him.

He hadn’t left the house since the incident with the men in balaclavas until Friday evening when a ‘friend’ convinced him to go see him in a taxi. He went and was extremely anxious and nervous beforehand.
Today he then went to meet someone and was gone for an hour or two. He seemed distressed and anxious when he got home so I checked his pockets and found the cannabis.

I told him that I would give it back to him tomorrow but that I wouldn’t be allowing him to bring it into my house, and didn’t mention the amount.

I have contacted the police for advice, and am now worried that I’ve made a huge mistake.

I am really worried that he may be being groomed. He is autistic and very naive.

I don’t even know when the police will come.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Parisj · 10/07/2023 10:37

There's a County Lines and exploitation helpline for young people and families run by missing people
SafeCall is a free, confidential and anonymous helpline and support service for young people and family members that are affected by missing, county lines and criminal exploitation www.missingpeople.org.uk/get-help/help-services/exploitation-and-county-lines

zingally · 10/07/2023 10:40

This is serious business your son is tangled up in. Go back to the police with the full, unedited story.

NewNovember · 10/07/2023 10:53

Wildmoors · 10/07/2023 08:43

Sending hugs it makes me so mad that people smoking “harmless” weed are turning a blind eye to the ugly truth

Another reason to legalise it cannabis is not particularly harmful and has medicinal benefits. It's the organised crime that's the issue.
Op you are not being proactive enough take your ds to child services and say you have thrown him out refuse to have him home under any circumstances make sure they understand the exploitation.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 10/07/2023 10:55

Fucking hell op, he's a young teen who has Autism which makes him even more vulnerable. He's being targeted by dangerous drug dealers......he needs safeguarding properly.

No more going off in taxis to see a friend, in fact no more school. He wouldn't be leaving my sight.

Have social services been any use ?

Wildmoors · 10/07/2023 10:57

Bit of a simplistic view, v harmful for the young developing brain, often leads to harder drugs,

mirages08 · 10/07/2023 10:58

County lines

Pyaar · 10/07/2023 11:02

I haven't RTFT but op can you contact some "gang exit" charity or organisation.

I know they exist in London as i had to contact one when a friend of mine was being threatened. He was i involved in drug dealing and got on the wrong side of someone who put a debt on him. Him and everyone he was close to (inc me) eas under threat.

There are people who can go out and mediate on your son's behalf. They do it every day and know every gang and dealer in the area. Depending on where you live of course but please Google gang exit or gang mediation. They might be able to help while your son is understandably not wanting to tell the police.

Pyaar · 10/07/2023 11:06

What area are you in OP?

Soverymuchfruit · 10/07/2023 11:12

Haven't read the full thread, only what the OP said, so this has probably been suggested before.... hope you've got him a stab vest. Good luck with it all.

Pyaar · 10/07/2023 11:14

Don't give the drugs to the police

femfemlicious · 10/07/2023 11:15

This is too much , you need to move

CandlelightGlow · 10/07/2023 11:21

Pawpatrolsucks · 10/07/2023 04:06

You need to send him away to live a long way away. The police won’t help. Find him a room in a share house, destroy his phone.

This is bad advice.

The police absolutely will help when there is clear county lines activity involved. It may not always immediately look like they are doing something, but they are.

OP he is gotten himself involved with county lines and he needs urgent help as yes these people can be ruthless, violent and dangerous.

MardiMoo · 10/07/2023 11:21

@Whatayear23 - if it was me I would look upon this as a life-pivot moment. It’s not fair to you or your DS, given his dismissed responsibility, but can you move entirely away from the area and commute to your work from another direction or maybe even change jobs? I know he’s put you in an impossible situation, but he has been targeted and used in a truly vile way and he is still your boy forever at the end of the day.

CandlelightGlow · 10/07/2023 11:22

And yes if he has autism he is being targeted because he is vulnerable, it sounds like they have also deliberately isolated him from his friends.

I fucking hate these scumbags.

User8646382 · 10/07/2023 11:23

Pyaar · 10/07/2023 11:02

I haven't RTFT but op can you contact some "gang exit" charity or organisation.

I know they exist in London as i had to contact one when a friend of mine was being threatened. He was i involved in drug dealing and got on the wrong side of someone who put a debt on him. Him and everyone he was close to (inc me) eas under threat.

There are people who can go out and mediate on your son's behalf. They do it every day and know every gang and dealer in the area. Depending on where you live of course but please Google gang exit or gang mediation. They might be able to help while your son is understandably not wanting to tell the police.

‘Gang mediation’? Is that some kind of joke? Are we actually at the point where the police are now completely redundant? Where negotiators from ‘charities’ go cap in hand to gangsters instead?

OP, send your kid to a boarding school if anyone will have him. If not, try the army. Sounds like it might do him some good.

Dancingonthemoonlight · 10/07/2023 11:25

Going to be honest here but if that quantity of cannabis was to sell to repay a debt (that would halt your son being hurt) you running to the police and having them collect the cannabis has pretty much cemented your son getting hurt. I'm assuming you don't know how much weed is worth or how much he actually had, it's not going to be a small amount you'll have to pay to ensure his safety IF it was to sell or even if he got it on 'lay' he's going to he owing that dealer money.

Sorry to say but I wouldn't of ran to the police over this, I'd of sat down and forced my child to speak to me, because this course of action has probably put him in more danger.

violinviolet · 10/07/2023 11:27

As a quick solution get on air b n b and book something for next few weeks while you sort out something permanent. Make sure this is out of area.

Bugbabe1970 · 10/07/2023 11:29

It sounds like he has become involved in county lines and possibly owes these people money!
You've done the right thing calling the police
Do not destroy and drugs this will make things worse
Does your sim have another relative he is close with that he will confide in if he won't open up to you?
Give him space, dint hassle him for information but tell him you are there to listen when he is ready without judgement
Good luck

Paul2023 · 10/07/2023 11:51

Of course I’d be worried for your son but I’d equally be worried about the repercussions to your home/ family.

My sister in laws son is 14, got involved in a bad crowd. She was assaulted herself near her own doorstep. And faced threats on another occasion m. This within a few weeks. This was grown men attacking a woman on her own , outside her house!

The police didn’t even bother charging the people due to lack of evidence! So they walked around scott free.

Social services became involved , eventually she was given a move to another town nearby and her son is in foster care, but there’s loads of other reasons for that , that’s I won’t go into.

Id get Cctv installed at your house and hope things simmer down eventually.

Paul2023 · 10/07/2023 11:55

Your son must tell you the names and the whole truth. He’s brought this situation to your family.
Hes in a mess but the only way out of it is to tell the police everything. He owes that’s to his family.
The police won’t do much if they don’t have names. He needs to help them help him.

Original poster
Whatayear23 · 10/07/2023 12:01

I’ve got a social worker here now who is saying that unless that if the manager says no to a decision to her then that’s just how it is.

I said that surely it was mandatory to follow their policies. She said she didn’t know. So I asked for the managers email and she said that I can just email her and she will pass it on.
No! I want the email myself.
She’s gone upstairs to speak to DS now.

I’ll find out the email some other way once she’s gone.

I’m really annoyed today.

OP posts:
cpphelp · 10/07/2023 12:07

@Whatayear23, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Must be terrifying.

Can I suggest though asking for this thread to be removed, I know you need help, but if this is picked up by a newspaper and published, I think your lives may get 10X worse

PopsicleHustler · 10/07/2023 12:22

@cpphelp that's true. I heard newspapers regularly come on mumsnet for a juicy story and then add their own nonsense into it.

StaunchMomma · 10/07/2023 12:37

You get that those aren't HIS drugs, right? They belong to the criminal gang he works for and all they care about it how much money they'd get for it.

Not your son, not you, not ANYONE.

He's got himself mixed up in something bigger than he can handle. Do you have any family that live away that you could send him to? Either way, he needs to be out of your house.

LacieLane · 10/07/2023 12:40

Have you emailed your Director for Children’s Services directly? Copy in your MP and local councillor and Police and Crime Commissioner. They need to take this seriously.

I would be thinking they need to provide you all with a safe house, temporarily.

Have you savings so that you can move temporarily out if your area? In fact, I would put it on a credit card to keep my family safe.