Two things people routinely get slightly wrong on Mumsnet that set your teeth on edge and which you would ban....

[CurlewKate]

Mine are "nickname" when you mean "shortening" and "double-barrelled" when you mean "hyphenated"

‘Loose’ when they mean ‘lose’. Not just Mumsnet tho

Brought instead of bought. Defiantly instead of definitely.

Alot when they mean A lot

Posters quoting the entire first post of the thread (the OP). There's absolutely no need. We know you're replying to the first post, as that's what the fucking thread is about.

Potatoe abd Clarkes.

It's potato, and Clarks.

Anything on the subject of nutrition. Makes my eyes bleed, some of the advice is dangerously wrong. People haven’t the first clue about metabolism and biochemistry.

Noone. ITS FUCKING TWO WORDS FFS

And* typing fail.

I don't agree that it is wrong to use 'double barrelled' to mean a compound surname. Not everyone with a compound surname uses a hyphen anyway. Andrew Lloyd Weber, for example.

shortening instead of diminutive...

Should of, could of, would of

Loose

Draws instead of drawers

Femenists as a typo

Same. I point both of these out regularly on baby name threads, but I might as well not bother.

@EggInANest "I don't agree that it is wrong to use 'double barrelled' to mean a compound surname. Not everyone with a compound surname uses a hyphen anyway. Andrew Lloyd Weber, for example."

Use compound surname then. Double-barrelled is a neologism coined by Punch to mock the posh!

People who say "slightly wrong", when something is definitively wrong or right 😆

Quoting the whole OP: just post your response FFS! That is what the thread is for.

Confusion over Dc numbering. In ye olde days of MN the number referred to the order in family. Dd2 means second daughter, not Dd aged 2. Context makes it clear when we get to Dd 13 (unless a Radford is posting) but dd 2, 3 or 4 can be confusing.

Breaks instead of brakes.

Bare with me.

People saying aka when they should use i.e.

Another thing coming - it makes no sense.

When someone says I instead of me.

"He bought my friend and I a drink".

It's ME.

You don't say "he bought I a drink". If you add another person in it is still "me".

Which makes it interesting etymology, that we might not want to perpetrate, but that isn't the same as wrong. It is a term widely used, understood and documented to mean 'two or more surnames'.

Another for me is when people on here reference school year instead of age.

Example: “my DD is in year 6 …” it’s totally meaningless for the significant number of non Brits on here. Just say their age for goodness sake. It’s so American.

A women instead of woman.

The same people seem fully able to distinguish between man and men but stick a 'wo' on the front and apparently it becomes extremely confusing and complicated.

You mean like 'Lizzie' for Elizabeth? I agree it's not a nickname, that would be a name used, hopefully in affection, unrelated to the actual given name. Like, say, if Elizabeth was called Dusty, but anyone could be nicknamed Dusty
The correct term is 'diminutive' not shortening really, but I don't use that much as most posters don't so I think I might sound pretentious.

I agree 'double barrelled' is for surnames, a name like Lily-Mae is 'hyphenated'.

'To' for 'too', as in 'it's all to much' really irritates me, plus the other way around. Surely it's easy to remember - if it's too much, you need too many 'O' s, (lots of 'O' s).

Affect and effect

Que instead of cue.

Of all the things that make my teeth itch, your two examples are way down the list Op.