Two things people routinely get slightly wrong on Mumsnet that set your teeth on edge and which you would ban....

[CurlewKate]

Mine are "nickname" when you mean "shortening" and "double-barrelled" when you mean "hyphenated"

@Diddykong

Pooh instead of poo

It's a normal acceptable alternative and was more common when I was young. I find 'poo' affected and precious.

I don't know why but I really loathe it. I have no issue with breastfeeding whatsoever.

Come to think of it, I don't really like DD, DH etc on grounds of being twee.

People getting science facts wrong which really grated on me during covid. Saying BS based on nothing.

People re quoting the entire OP. Why?

Vodaphone 😤

Poo affected and pretentious?! That’s just what it’s called. I always interpret Pooh as someone who can’t quite bring themselves to write the actual word. Infuriating.

@grass321 I have breastfed both mine for over 2 years each and I still hate the saying! It’s just gross. Particularly when used with reference to older babies/toddlers/children who still breastfeed. Perhaps because “boob” somehow seems more sexualised than “breast”?

Or post an "AITA" thread rather than "AIBU"

Double-barrelled is a neologism coined by Punch to mock the posh!

Are you a Victorian with an iPhone?

Lots of words and songs that were originally designed to mock people have been proudly adopted without hint of irony.

Advise/Advice. One is a verb, the other a noun. They are not interchangeable.

"His" instead of "he's"
As in "his going to watch the t.v"
Drives me potty!

Thought of another one. “We cloth bum”. What? Do you mean “we use cloth nappies”? Even worse, “she’s a cloth bum baby”. Once again, easily fixed with “she wears cloth nappies”. So twee and almost smug.

To be fair, I'm much more likely to be weary of someone than wary of them.

People who say to borrow her some money instead of lend her money. Drives me insane

All the above, plus misused apostrophes and a bunch more language fails.

That it's illegal to open someone else's post delivered to your address.

That the law says you must use a person's gendery pronouns, allow them to 'identify' into a single-sex facility, etc.

That there's no law against parking in a disability space.

People who quote the entire OP. But especially when it's a very long one and then they just type "this" or thumbs up.

People who don't read the OP and OP's posts before blurting out their pearls of wisdom.

Phased instead of fazed 😡

All Solicitors offer a free advice session. Some may but it's not across the board.

That's so cringe.

NO IT ISN'T! Cringe is what you do. The thing is cringey.

Not all double barrelled names have a hyphen though so surely that’s not right?

@CurlewKate it can't be that much of a neologism if it was coined by Punch!

Hyphenated and double barrelled are different.

I think some of the no contact advice is projection and people should think before insisting a poster do it because of some disagreement with MILs.

Ah yes the 'myself and dh' is very annoying.

Ect instead of etc

Who's instead of whose.

Oh god yes cloth bum is irritating. Also, about weaning: 'we are doing a mix of BLW and traditional weaning' NO you aren't because traditional weaning has always involved giving finger foods from 6 months. The minute you pop a spoon in your baby's mouth you are no longer BLW. I'm not saying this as a BLW purist (although I know it annoys them too) I'm a huge advocate for traditional weaning and it's doing traditional weaning methods a disservice by acting like you never give your baby the ability to eat finger foods or choose their own way of eating.

Draws instead of drawers