Page 10 | Police asking for an apology from ds

Driventodistraction0 · 2023-07-03T13:24:06+00:00

DS (17) got into a scuffle at the weekend with a friend. Each hit each other once, no physical harm done. It was a stupid argument over a girl and we’ve said how disappointed we are and emphasised what harm for both of them it could have led to. He is feeling really bad about it, he has been really struggling with his mental health anyway. He has apologised to the friend and friend has accepted. The police rang last night and said they wanted to speak to DS (they were at the scene when it happened). The police have said that he will not be cautioned but that they want him to sign an apology. They said this apology would be seen on future enhanced CRB checks. He wants to train as a teacher so I’m gutted this is the case. We’re all for the police coming to talk to him but this is the first time he has ever been in any trouble ever. I’ve tried to Google how long this would stay on a crb but can’t find anything.

Dotandtime · 07/07/2023 08:00

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 07:52

This is the problem, there is not a “huge problem” in the police services. Yes there is a problem, but there is a problem in every profession, paedophille teachers, doctors who commit assault, nurses who kill kids….. yet it’s only the police that are slagged off en masse for the actions of the few. Why is that?

Are police officers less than perfect? Of course, they’re human. But when you’re sat there slagging them off, there will be a police officer, probably just round the corner from you chatting to a kid to get them to school as the parents are sat pissed, out searching for a child who had gone missing from their bed in the night, knocking on a door to tell someone their loved one has died. Telling a mother her only son had committed suicide, breaking into a drug factory to take drugs off the street, being threatened with a bottle by someone with mental health issues who has been let down repeatedly by every SF ingle other agency. Maybe that’s why police and their families are so defensive- they see how officers are deeply affected by the job and the people they care for in the course of their duties. But you don’t give a shit about the overwhelmingly excellent and challenging work they do do you? You just want to slag them off because you have zero level of empathy

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There is a huge problem. Their own investigation has said its systemic and yet, we still have people trying to deny it.

It's illegal for a teacher not to report suspicions about a colleague and the police have failed to do it over and over again.

Dotandtime · 07/07/2023 08:04

I work as a lead in school. We have a system for staff to report "low level concerns" about colleagues. It's illegal for them to ignore it. I get maybe 3 reports a week. Most are nothing, almost all are something very minor, but staff understand it's their duty to report, there's no stigma in doing so. Can you really claim that's happening in the police services? Or could happen with the current culture?

Dotandtime · 07/07/2023 08:27

As for empathy, how about some empathy for people who should be able to know the police will be there when they need them without fear?

thedancingbear · 07/07/2023 08:28

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 07:52

This is the problem, there is not a “huge problem” in the police services. Yes there is a problem, but there is a problem in every profession, paedophille teachers, doctors who commit assault, nurses who kill kids….. yet it’s only the police that are slagged off en masse for the actions of the few. Why is that?

Are police officers less than perfect? Of course, they’re human. But when you’re sat there slagging them off, there will be a police officer, probably just round the corner from you chatting to a kid to get them to school as the parents are sat pissed, out searching for a child who had gone missing from their bed in the night, knocking on a door to tell someone their loved one has died. Telling a mother her only son had committed suicide, breaking into a drug factory to take drugs off the street, being threatened with a bottle by someone with mental health issues who has been let down repeatedly by every SF ingle other agency. Maybe that’s why police and their families are so defensive- they see how officers are deeply affected by the job and the people they care for in the course of their duties. But you don’t give a shit about the overwhelmingly excellent and challenging work they do do you? You just want to slag them off because you have zero level of empathy

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For fuck's sake. Even the police's own top brass now recognise that their forces are institutionally racist and misogynistic.

And it's blinkered nonsense like this that means that nothing will ever change.

OP, if you're still reading - don't trust the police. They are dishonest fuckers.

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 08:37

Dotandtime · 07/07/2023 08:00

There is a huge problem. Their own investigation has said its systemic and yet, we still have people trying to deny it.

It's illegal for a teacher not to report suspicions about a colleague and the police have failed to do it over and over again.

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Systemic is a system problem (with the Met if you’re referring to that) it doesn’t mean the police in general. To say “don’t trust the police” puts hard working caring officers at risk.

don’t make me laugh about teachers, doctors etc, of course they all back up their colleagues, they’re all bent. Investigations have shown huge problems with bullying, assault and sexual abuse in these professions. Never trust a doctor or teacher, huge problems there.

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 08:39

thedancingbear · 07/07/2023 08:28

For fuck's sake. Even the police's own top brass now recognise that their forces are institutionally racist and misogynistic.

And it's blinkered nonsense like this that means that nothing will ever change.

OP, if you're still reading - don't trust the police. They are dishonest fuckers.

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There’s a huge difference between the system (largely the Met) and officers though isn’t there. The same investigators also say that the vast vast majority of officers are hard working, professional and have an overwhelming sense of wanting to help the public.

GulesMeansRed · 07/07/2023 08:48

RunningFromInsanity · 03/07/2023 14:47

A fight between 2 grown men leading to them physically assaulting each other?
That’s exactly the sort of thing the Police should be involved in.

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They are not grown men. They are 17 which bakes a huge difference in the eyes of the law. Agree to getting legal advice. In nearly every case, cautions or other minor issues when the person was a minor are entirely disregarded for a DBS check - not a CRB which has not been a thing for over a decade.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 07/07/2023 09:24

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 06:48

How dare you!! My DH voluntarily put his life on the line for many hours each month. People like you make his job harder and more dangerous.

Your DH refused to go to the police station , of course he’s going to be threatened with arrest. How do the police know he’s going to turn up later, they’re used to dealing with other criminals.

Of course there are corrupt police, there are corrupt doctors, nurses, social workers, teachers, accountants, bankers, builders, taxi drivers…….

Have you got a clue how overstretched the police are?? How much they rely on volunteers? How often they are attached physically and verbally? How dare you make the hard working officers lives (who make up the vast vast majority of police) more difficult and dangerous? Your DH has obviously done something wrong in all this and seems willing to have admitted it. What exactly did he say? Im guessing he made threats. Maybe look at your DHs actions, you’ve made a complaint, they’ll look into whether the other person should face action too.

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Are you a bit daft or deliberately ignoring what I wrote?
Where did I say DH refused to attend? He attended the station off his own back every day for an entire week, leaving message after message for the officer to get back to him to sort the situation out. He was told the officer would call him at 5pm three times and three times he failed to.
He finally got back to DH a week later at 7 50am on a Sunday. He got aggressive to my DH. He threatened arrest. All DH said was he was unable to attend at the time and date as he picks DS up from school at that time. I cannot drive. We don't have anyone else to pick him. He has a range of complex needs and disabilities. After nearly two weeks of trying to get a response from this officer he then gets nasty because he had finally decided to get back to DH and demand one date and time. Then to say he would just come and arrest DH? Totally out of order. To then demand proof of our son's issues is disgusting.

You may be trying to excuse this arsehole bullies behaviour (which makes me wonder what sort of officer your DH is) but when I finally had brought and came to the station with DH, we spoke to a senior officer who immediately removed his colleague from the case. Clearly we weren't alone in question his professionalism. If he had done nothing wrong, they would have refused to reassign.

As a result though of bully boys behaviour, the person who should have been treated like that was able to remove evidence of his behaviour and so was never arrested or dealt with.

After that shocking behaviour DH felt if he didn't sign the CRO, they would make his life hell to justify the way it was handled.

So no, how dare you. You are the problem. Making excuses for officers who should be sacked and who bring the uniform into disrepute.

You are exactly the type of apologist that means many have no trust in the police as a whole.

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 09:36

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Pipsquiggle · 07/07/2023 09:45

@Driventodistraction0 did you get legal advice? What did they say?

Dotandtime · 07/07/2023 09:58

You are endangering god peoples lives with your hare speech

Freudian slip? 😆

If the "good" people want to see change they need to make it happen, by challenging the behaviour and reporting it when it happens. Insisting people are wrong to feel the way they do when they have genuine concerns, just makes you all look worse and perpetuates the fear.

Emma2023 · 07/07/2023 11:48

Omg violent and out of control- Jesus Christ talk about over dramatic 😂😂

ReformedWaywardTeen · 07/07/2023 11:49

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No one was aggressive to the officer. Not in my household. The officer was and the recording I took of him was enough for senior officers to remove him from the case and apologise. We are in the middle of a independent police complaints commission investigation over it. For them to accept the complaint and investigate with the say so of the police involved instead of asking it to be dealt with at local level speaks volumes.

Whichever way you try and paint this, the officer involved was totally out of order. You've made a number of entirely fictitious statements to justify your abusiveness and the fact you won't see anyone in a uniform can be in the wrong.

I'm almost half convinced you know the officer and circumstances as it's been quite a well discussed situation in my local area where locals are utterly disgusted at the way my DH (and our son, who was the victim) were treated. That's the only reason why I could imagine you making a number of false allegation and why you are fail to admit any wrong doing, trying to apportion blame on us

Now, with no respect whatsoever, DFOD

thedancingbear · 07/07/2023 11:59

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 08:39

There’s a huge difference between the system (largely the Met) and officers though isn’t there. The same investigators also say that the vast vast majority of officers are hard working, professional and have an overwhelming sense of wanting to help the public.

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Not really. A police force is defined and characterised by the individuals who make it up. If the individuals are racist, misogynistic, etc. then its members, as a class, are too.

thedancingbear · 07/07/2023 12:00

Dotandtime · 07/07/2023 09:58

You are endangering god peoples lives with your hare speech

Freudian slip? 😆

If the "good" people want to see change they need to make it happen, by challenging the behaviour and reporting it when it happens. Insisting people are wrong to feel the way they do when they have genuine concerns, just makes you all look worse and perpetuates the fear.

Hate speech?😂

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 12:02

ReformedWaywardTeen · 07/07/2023 11:49

No one was aggressive to the officer. Not in my household. The officer was and the recording I took of him was enough for senior officers to remove him from the case and apologise. We are in the middle of a independent police complaints commission investigation over it. For them to accept the complaint and investigate with the say so of the police involved instead of asking it to be dealt with at local level speaks volumes.

Whichever way you try and paint this, the officer involved was totally out of order. You've made a number of entirely fictitious statements to justify your abusiveness and the fact you won't see anyone in a uniform can be in the wrong.

I'm almost half convinced you know the officer and circumstances as it's been quite a well discussed situation in my local area where locals are utterly disgusted at the way my DH (and our son, who was the victim) were treated. That's the only reason why I could imagine you making a number of false allegation and why you are fail to admit any wrong doing, trying to apportion blame on us

Now, with no respect whatsoever, DFOD

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Oh don’t be totally ridiculous - I’ve no idea who this officer is. You seem absolutely paranoid, first the officer knows the other side according to you, now someone dares suggest you’re not 100% in the right and suddenly you’re convinced I know the officer. You’re a bonkers conspiracy theorist. I suggest you reach out for help. At this point you’re just flailing around making random accusations- you’re not coming across as a reliable witness exactly

if you actually read my posts you’ll see I’ve said this officer may have acted inappropriately- I have no idea, but what I do know is that the vast vast majority of police are hard working and caring doing a job you could never ever do.

You say you can’t trust any police yet in the next breath you’re saying the police have acted on your concerns. Which is it???? You can’t have both.

But screeching abuse about the police telling everyone to not trust any of them is dangerous to the police, can you not see that? Or are you happy to put my DH at risk with your conspiracy theories?

INeedAnotherName · 07/07/2023 12:21

I think you need to give it a rest @OMG12 . You are making this thread unpleasant to read and it's certainly not the thread to spout NotMyMan crap, go make your own thread.

@Driventodistraction0 I hope you did get legal advice in the end.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 07/07/2023 12:23

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 12:02

Oh don’t be totally ridiculous - I’ve no idea who this officer is. You seem absolutely paranoid, first the officer knows the other side according to you, now someone dares suggest you’re not 100% in the right and suddenly you’re convinced I know the officer. You’re a bonkers conspiracy theorist. I suggest you reach out for help. At this point you’re just flailing around making random accusations- you’re not coming across as a reliable witness exactly

if you actually read my posts you’ll see I’ve said this officer may have acted inappropriately- I have no idea, but what I do know is that the vast vast majority of police are hard working and caring doing a job you could never ever do.

You say you can’t trust any police yet in the next breath you’re saying the police have acted on your concerns. Which is it???? You can’t have both.

But screeching abuse about the police telling everyone to not trust any of them is dangerous to the police, can you not see that? Or are you happy to put my DH at risk with your conspiracy theories?

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The police are a danger to the police. The actions of many which have recently come to light, including rape, murder and photographing victims for fun is enough to make many not trust them. Not my saying in my experience you should always be cautious and not trust them.

Maybe if people like you and your husband spoke up against their dodgy colleagues, trust could be rebuilt.

Officers who have said nothing for years are just as much of a problem as those who manipulate their position.

And you need help, because you are so blinkered for all you know your DH could be one of the dodgy officers but you're so blinded to anyone saying anything you don't like that you'll make up whole bits of a story from an unknown person to suit your narrative, things that never took place.

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 12:48

INeedAnotherName · 07/07/2023 12:21

I think you need to give it a rest @OMG12 . You are making this thread unpleasant to read and it's certainly not the thread to spout NotMyMan crap, go make your own thread.

@Driventodistraction0 I hope you did get legal advice in the end.

oh so just cos you don’t like what I have to say I should shut up. I’m sorry but the crap spouted on this thread endangers people like my husband I don’t find that pleasant to read. I’m sorry to interrupt your place bashing fest!

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 12:51

ReformedWaywardTeen · 07/07/2023 12:23

The police are a danger to the police. The actions of many which have recently come to light, including rape, murder and photographing victims for fun is enough to make many not trust them. Not my saying in my experience you should always be cautious and not trust them.

Maybe if people like you and your husband spoke up against their dodgy colleagues, trust could be rebuilt.

Officers who have said nothing for years are just as much of a problem as those who manipulate their position.

And you need help, because you are so blinkered for all you know your DH could be one of the dodgy officers but you're so blinded to anyone saying anything you don't like that you'll make up whole bits of a story from an unknown person to suit your narrative, things that never took place.

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Oh my DH is certainly not one of the dodgy officers And actually he has never met a dodgy officer. I’m sorry to burst your bible but it’s not the fucking Sweeny.

Maybe if your so concerned you could volunteer as a Special and see what it’s like and solve these issues yourself!

Juanmartinez · 07/07/2023 12:53

I get that you want to defend your husband and I'm sure he's one of the good ones but people have their opinions and it can't be denied that even the police themselves have said that things have to change.

Dotandtime · 07/07/2023 12:53

OMG12 · 07/07/2023 12:48

oh so just cos you don’t like what I have to say I should shut up. I’m sorry but the crap spouted on this thread endangers people like my husband I don’t find that pleasant to read. I’m sorry to interrupt your place bashing fest!

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Can you really not see how much harm you're doing to your own cause?

BadNomad · 07/07/2023 12:54

NAPALT!

monsteramunch · 07/07/2023 12:55

@OMG12

Lots of members of my family are police officers of varying levels.

To say your husband has never met a dodgy officer means he has either misinformed you or he is so reluctant to spot bad behaviour in the force that it's worrying.

My family members in the police are nice people, good at their jobs and got into the job to help as a public service.

Not one of them would make such a ludicrous claim as to have never come across a dodgy copper in their career.

Good police officers are vigilant not just when it comes to the behaviour of civilians, they are also vigilant when it comes to the behaviour of their peers and colleagues.

MynameMyname · 07/07/2023 12:58

Do not sign anything or be interviewed in a police station without legal advice . Do not accept a caution without legal advice as a caution may impact him getting work or traveling to America