In despair about DD and work

[Sworntofun]

DD 20 is really worrying me. Home from uni and cannot find a job for the summer. She has tried agencies and has applied for a fair few jobs ( and there aren’t many seasonal jobs round here). However she has almost no experience in anything as for 3 years she has refused to get a job - out of fear. When she was 16 she had started a little Saturday job in a boutique in town but didn’t last longer than a month as a vile woman came in one day to complain and really singled out my dd after which she had a panic attack and wouldn’t go back. This has really coloured her attitude to work and knocked her confidence such that she has refused to apply for any public facing work eg no bar, cafe, hospitality. We are now nearly into July and still no prospect of anything. She is sitting alone at home as all her friends are working getting seriously depressed. She has even applied for volunteering but nothing again. Very worried as she will be 21 soon and who the hell will employ her? She is intelligent, kind and not lacking confidence in other areas of life eg lives independently at uni in a flat with friends 4 hours from home. Just baffled and v worried about how to get her started in work! Help!

What are her interests?
Can she volunteer in some way to start with?
Sometimes the pressure of pay and a job is a lot. But volunteering is less daunting?
Bolsters her CV and gives her some confidence.

If there are only public facing roles available she needs to just bite the bullet and remember she is now a confident 20 year old, not a timid first time starter 16.

She can ask, if she gets a job, if a difficult customer comes in who should I direct them to when she starts.

The world won't present a job to her on a plate but being polite, firm and honest usually flabbergasts most idiots.

How is she funding her life?

Can she start with some remote work?

Throw her out. This is what a generation of nannying does to kids. They remain children incapable of adult life

Honestly, that one negative experience she needs to box off and get on with things. We’ve all been shouted at screamed at in various jobs, such is life.
she needs to apply for everything and anything out there

what about Housekeeping? They clean and change rooms when they are empty, with minimal interactions with visitors.

Also came on to say volunteering to build her confidence. How many volunteer places has she tried? Maybe something like working with animals, or nature conservation if she doesn’t want a customer service role? Animal shelter?
Or working with children? Brownie pack?
Lots of charities really rely on volunteers I am sure if she keeps trying she will find something.

Are there any local organisations helping young people with skills getting into work? Where I live there are a couple of places like this and they do workshops etc.

chamber maid at a hotel, cleaning etc ?

My dd is a bit younger and the same - very lacking in confidence. Am trying to get her a job for the summer (I know I'm going to have to help). Its hard.
I've tried pointing out that there are many ppl in cafes and shops who look grumpy and aren't ideal employees .

But as pp said, we've all had bad experiences with unpleasant customers and /or unpleasant shop owners. Your dd needs to move on if possible.

She has managed to go to Uni for 3 years so she should be perfectly capable of doing any summer job. What are her plans for the future , if you keep paying her way now she will never have a job.

They usually find their "courage" once you stop giving any money to them! Sorry to be harsh but she'll soon get a job and find she can do it if she has zero cash.

🫨

Shelf stacking at supermarket? Could ease her into working nicely

Aye that will help her get a job!!

Have you seen her applications op? Are they decent quality?

Lol

I had this with my daughter. I was enabling her by giving her money. She has anxiety which escalates in new situations. I sat her down and told her everyone is anxious in a new job but unfortunately the world doesn't owe her a living. I also stopped giving her money and provided her with essentials. She's now working full time and thriving

Housekeeping is a good shout but my DD did it for a while and couldn't wait to get back to the bitching customers in a front facing role! She didn't like what she found in people's rooms. Some people are disgusting!!

Hi op, ignore all the nasty comments on here.

Could you and your daughter go out early one morning in your local vicinity and visit garden centres, cafés, hairdressers, any independent businesses, and drop off her cv? You stay in the background obviously but walk around with her and stop for a coffee every so often.

My teens always get their summer jobs this way.

Agree with this. Encourage her to reflect on how far she’s come and how much she’s learned in life since she was that much younger woman, and all the resilience and skills she’s gained since. She’ll unfortunately come across rude people who upset her - colleagues, clients, service users - occasionally at work, whatever she does, for the rest of her life, and the confidence to assertively challenge them and speak up for herself will be key. She has to face her fears to be able to overcome them.

What are her friends doing for work, maybe she could link up with one of them and have at least a friendly face nearby?

What subjects is she doing at Uni, any work that's obviously related to that?

I work in a Supermarket, it's something I turned to after I wanted out from my highly stressful job with huge responsibilities, and I love it! Any decent employer would not leave a young inexperienced employee to deal with difficult situations. We employ Uni students and have had good experiences, and they with us. We help them to grow in confidence in the retail environment.

She has had one bad experience, don't let that person affect her forever, nobody has that power!

She's nearly 21 and she's never had a job???? Holy moly, you are doing her zero favours by allowing this.

Do you live in a large town? Call centre work sounds like it would fit. Not personally customer facing.

As a student the only roles available are customer facing roles. She’s just going to have to go for it otherwise it’s unlikely she’ll get a job. I worked in hospitality every holiday when at uni.

My niece had a similar struggle. She managed to get work in a boarding kennels/cattery and, not only loved it, but was asked by some customers to house sit for them if they had an odd night away. She earned a fortune.