Most areseholy thing a ‘friend’ has said to you

[Dontmissyou]

I will start.

When I was in my mid 20s I was having some relationship worries and was freaking out a bit. In retrospect they were justified 🤣. I wasn’t really one for confiding in my friends but I had a friend over for tea and confided in her.

I arranged to meet her in a week or so and she cancelled on me with an excuse and I thought nothing of it.

At a later date she randomly told me that she has cancelled on me because last time I’d seen her I’d ‘brought her down’ when telling her about my relationship worries. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t say much but think she knew she’s messed up by admitting that by my shocked face.

I stopped telling her anything of substance after that because I realised she was only a fun time friend. The relationship dissolved because amongst other things like her announcing the pregnancies of people I knew extremely vaguely after I’d just had a miscarriage, she said I kept things from her and never told her anything about my life. Erm true 🤣.

Tell me your so called friend arseholery please.

On a night out once, a friend looked me up and down and said, do you know what style of dress that suits you? Then went on to educate me. Basically it was the opposite if what i had on.

I had a wobble at about a month postpartum and called my closest friend crying about the way I looked, lack of sleep etc and she had me on loud speaker in front of her boyfriend of 3 months the whole time without telling me. This boyfriend also hated me and would say nasty things about me to her that she would then tell me about.

Some of these are absolutely heartbreaking 😔

🌺 to anyone who needs them.

I can't type mine yet as it's still upsetting (32 years later!). It was said out of thoughtlessness rather than malice, but FFS I wish people would engage brain before opening gob sometimes.

After I had a Rhinoplasty a friend said “now you have a lovely nose like mine”.
I should have expected it really as she is the type who turns everything to her, talks about herself constantly and isn’t interested in anybody else.
I had a bad accident and the same friend came to visit. She’d been here over an hour, talking constantly about herself, before she eventually said, “oh, how are you anyway?”

Many years ago, a former friend was moaning about her husband being ' sex mad '.
She finished up by saying ' if a dog cocked it's leg up in the street, he'd shag it, even you '.
Nice!

Oh.my.God.

But probably still as ugly as fuck on the inside

God, some of these are awful! I’m glad most of them are now ex friends! 🤦🏼‍♀️. I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing in these situations!

I'm too ugly for my handsome boyfriend (now dh). I mean, she's right, but she didn't have to say it outloud to my face :(

A friend of mine who knew I was single and childfree described people who get married and have kids as “normal adults”

Same friend told me not to bother going to an interview because I wouldn’t get the job.
The same friend rolled her eyes a few months after I started new job ( the one she said I wouldn’t get!) when she asked me how I was getting on and I said I really enjoyed it.

The same friend told me “why are you wasting your time writing stories it’s not going anywhere” . A year later I got an agent, a year after that I signed my first book deal. But the thing is even if I was still an unpublished writer I don’t see how I was wasting my time ? I was working full-time and writing in my spare time so it’s not as if I were refusing to go out and earn while chasing my dream!

I can see now this now ex-friend was jealous of my outlook on life and my happiness and could only handle about hearing bad experiences I was going through as it made her feel better. She had “everything” on paper - high earning husband, house, car, child, and stable job of her own but she begrudged any bit of success or good fortune I had because I guess deep down despite having it “all” she still wasn’t happy. Because if you need your close friend to be miserable to smile, and their success makes you angry clearly something is seriously wrong with your own life.

When I was on (unpaid) mat leave a friend who was also on mat leave asked me to join her pilates group. I said I couldn't afford it until I went back to work. She laughed at that which I thought odd but as her husband is a banker I thought perhaps she was unaware of how hard up people can be.

A couple of weeks later a large group of us was sat having coffee after school drop off. After a while friend stood up and said she said she had to rush to Pilates. Then she shouts (she is v loud in an attention aeeking way) 'Lndnmummy even washing your hair is a better excuse than the one you gave. Cackled and then 'Guys, Lndnmummy said she can't afford pilates!!!! Ha ha ha is £15.00!! The whole coffee shop went silent. I got teary (suffered PND) and was really embarrassed.

A friend of mine once said the following things to me:
i could have your husband if I wanted, but he’s not rich enough for me.
you’d be sort of pretty you know, if you had £15k to spend on aesthetic surgery

My friend said it was worse knowing an ex was around than having your partner die - my hubby died, he ex was still around.

I said what you mean you worry you'll see him? She said no I just think overall its worse. I said, unless you're scared of him it absolutely isn't worse to which she said that was her opinion.

I don't see her often, when I do we always have a lovely time, but this comment was insensitive.

My DH had been diagnosed with prostate cancer and was undergoing hormone treatment, and radio therapy amongst other dreadful things. Needless to say, this brought our sex life to a complete halt! Some weeks into this treatment process, I was feeling a bit down and stressed about a situation in my life not related to my DH's illness.

My "friend" (who knew about my DH) said I needed to chill out a bit and relax, and then added "What you need is a bloody good shag!!" ..... hmmm .... 😢... thanks for the advice!!

After leaving my physically, sexually and financially abusive husband - who had thrown something at my face the day I left - my ‘best friend’ said ‘well, yes it is bad but eventually you’ll need to take responsibility for the choices YOU made’
I should’ve stopped being friends with her there and then but unfortunately her arsehole behaviour carried on for a couple more years after that!

At university, I’d broken up with my boyfriend of 2 years (his doing) and was absolutely devastated. He was the first person I’d ever loved.
I was in my room feeling totally bereft when my flatmate and good friend knocked at the door. She was going out with my ex’s close friend and we’d introduced them to each other the year before. We’d shared lots of great times together. Anyway, after sympathising a little, she added as a parting remark: ‘One thing though, your situation has really made Sam (her boyfriend) and me realise how much we love each other and how important our relationship is.’
Well, that’s good to know…! I couldn’t believe the insensitivity of the comment, and to be fair, I still can’t! We’ve remained good friends and I never brought it up, but I didn’t forget.
She married Sam by the way…

There were 4 of us who did our teacher training together. Stayed in the same area after we qualified. Two of us married and had children , 2 stayed single . My marriage broke up after my husband (32) left with a 17 year old colleague. The single friends shared a house one of them owned. They had lots of parties. We met for coffee often as my children were with their father every other Saturday . They were talking about the party that night and I foolishly said the children were staying at ex husband's that night so for once in a long time I was free. They looked at me in horror. It was 26 years ago but I can see their faces now. One ( who was the same size as me ,so could have lent me something to help me look less out of place if she had wanted to) said " Oh no you can't, my goodness whatever would you wear". The other one said " Oh no none of them would be interested in talking to you ,you've got children". I also had a job and thoughts beyond my children but apparently I was just a badly dressed blob. I thought I was doing okay, coping, presenting myself as someone who was building a new life. I thought they were my friends. Apparently not.

I had hyperemesis with my first pregnancy. When I told my mother I was expecting again her only comment was " Well you may as well kill yourself while you're at it".

Some of these are so awful, mine isn't nearly as bad.

Mine is actually quite recent. A few years ago I used to see a woman around DDs school who was super popular, super stylish etc etc., I think all school playgrounds have one. She never acknowledged me at all - a little older than lots of the mums and overweight, definitely not super stylish. Over the course of a year I lost a lot of weight. She commented to me one day that I had lost weight and we got chatting and I found her really lovely and we became quite close friends over the next few months and have remained so until recently. Last Christmas a few of us were out for a meal and she had far too much to drink and commented on what I was eating. She said 'Watch it Willow, you don't want to pile all that weight on again or I'll have to dump you as a friend'. Cue a few embarrassed tinkly laughs and someone politely changes the subject. I put it down to her being drunk but felt I needed to ask her about it so when I saw her a couple of days later I asked her what she meant. She said 'oh come on you must know that someone like me would could never be friends with a fat person look at the people I surround myself with. We're all slim. Fat people make me feel sick, so don't go getting pudgy again'. All this was said while laughing and prodding my stomach. I was absolutely flabberghasted. I realised that this woman has never really been my friend at all and certainly never will be again.

Not really said to me but to my now 13 year old for the past 4 years. Former friend (who is also a godparent to sad 13 year old) has sent him a Christmas card EVERY YEAR for the past 4 or 5 years saying ; I owe you a Christmas present'. No present is forthcoming (and indeed I don;t give a shit about presents- but don't SAY that a child with ASD and learning difficulties that you owe them a present that never materialises. Seriously- she writes it in the card!! )

Last year I just intercepted the card and opened it (yes the same sentence was in there) and just threw it away.

We don't talk and rarely to never see each other so I have not had the chance to say to her 'WTF?'

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I had very similar - when my dad died suddenly when I was 18 my best friend told me she was so sorry she couldn’t support me more, but she knew how exactly I felt as she was also grieving - her neighbour’s dog had died 😳

This is a very typical threatened, jealous remark. I used to get the same comment from my friend years ago- it would deflate me but now I look back it’s laughable. Hindsight helps us ward off these mean comments.

"it's good you regonise what sort of clothes are more flattering on you now" "it's nice you make an effort nowadays"

Said on two separate occasions by the same person. I've always felt I've made an effort with my appearance....

Work friend who is two years younger than me announced to everyone that she was going on a diet in the run up to her big birthday because she didn't want to be fat and fifty like I was.

I've had a few judgy comments from friends when I was a single parent raising a then young dd, things like giving her a dummy or the occasional chicken nugget.

The funniest one was when I mentioned I'd taken them 4 year old dd to macdonalds as a treat and my friend screwed her face up and said 'I'd never take my child to macdonalds and I certainly wouldn't call it a treat'

🙈😂

Said friend didn't even have kids at the point!!

No where near as bad as some of these comments and we are still friends.