Most areseholy thing a ‘friend’ has said to you

[Dontmissyou]

I will start.

When I was in my mid 20s I was having some relationship worries and was freaking out a bit. In retrospect they were justified 🤣. I wasn’t really one for confiding in my friends but I had a friend over for tea and confided in her.

I arranged to meet her in a week or so and she cancelled on me with an excuse and I thought nothing of it.

At a later date she randomly told me that she has cancelled on me because last time I’d seen her I’d ‘brought her down’ when telling her about my relationship worries. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t say much but think she knew she’s messed up by admitting that by my shocked face.

I stopped telling her anything of substance after that because I realised she was only a fun time friend. The relationship dissolved because amongst other things like her announcing the pregnancies of people I knew extremely vaguely after I’d just had a miscarriage, she said I kept things from her and never told her anything about my life. Erm true 🤣.

Tell me your so called friend arseholery please.

Oh and when I told my dad I was 20 weeks pregnant with my ds on my 40th birthday and my 4th dc he said ‘oh darling are you going to have an abortion’ 😡

Told me it was ‘unfair’ I wouldn’t socialise with my ExH and his GF (the OW) because it would ruin her 50th party plans. We were going through an awful divorce and he’d threatened to section me. Of all the unfair things in the world at that stage….

Later, with an astounding lack of self awareness, she told a mutual friend that he had to choose between me or her because mutual friend couldn’t see both of us as it was too hurtful to bitch friend 😅

The difference in my life without her in it is wonderful- though I do hear from other mutual friends she always grills them on whether they’ve seen me, so I guess she’s still stung!

God mine is trivial compare to some of these awful people.

After always being slim, I had gained weight during my first pregnancy. My friend had always struggled with her weight but had lost some and she looked great and I told her how lovely she looked.

Around 6 months after DS was born we went out for dinner with a few friends for and my sister took a photo of us. Later on my sister said ah what a lovely photo of you and AlwaysGin and she said to my sister in front of me, yes, I love that photo too, for once she's the fat, shit looking one.

I was so shocked and hurt. I had NEVER in all the years of our friendship made a comment or judgement on her size. She regained her weight and became really and negative about my appearance so that was the end of a friendship.

"You must think there's something wrong with you as you haven't met anyone yet."

Said to me by a now ex friend - 6 months after my husband died.

After we had a wake for my FIL a woman who I don't know stopped me and my husband as we were leaving and said " that was the best funeral Iv been too".

This wasn't a friend, but my Mum - 4 days after i had twins by c section she looked me up and down and said "you look like you've still got one in there." Not in a jokey way, just matter of fact.

If I'd had a gun i think i'd have shot her. I was in pain, exhausted and hallucinating after 4 days in hospital and no sleep, but my biggest problem apparently was i still had a tummy 🙄

A local acquaintance, who I've now backed away from completely due to the sheer number of odd digs she made towards me - when I'd only ever tried to be nice to her.

We live on the same estate. We both have 80s houses that need refurbing (as do all of the houses on this estate). She often talked about the work they were planning to do.
DH and I had done a couple of big jobs to ours by this point as we moved in several years before her and her DH (We'd knocked the kitchen into the dining room and put in new double glazing).
I casually asked, among many other topics of conversation that day: 'Are you doing any projects to your house at the minute?'
Her reply: 'Oh no, we don't think there's much point in spending money on this sort of house - its hardly a dream home is it. And we've seen other people on the estate get big jobs done - like knock the dining room into the kitchen - and they're just throwing their money away'.

Separately, I'm a Bid Manager, working on complex bids with a value of £1m-£50m for opportunities with organisations like the MoD, Lloyd's Bank, Tesco and so on. I've done it for my whole career. She was in a role where she provided some occassional bid support within her role, in the charity sector, on opportunities up to £5k. Great. I never talked about my job to her, but she knew full well what I did for a living.
She applied for a new job and said: 'I really hope I get it. It will be so nice to move away from bidding - because absolutely anyone can do that'.

There were so many comments like this, I decided she had a personality disorder and cut her out.

"You're not gay enough to be in my choir."

I had a now ex-friend, who, knowing she had got a promotion that came with a significant pay rise which also meant that our company did not furlough anyone of her rank during covid, kept on saying that the government should not have paid out furlough money because it would impact the future taxes of people like her family, which was unfair because they apparently worked harder then most. This was whilst I worked for the same company as her and she knew I had been told if I didn't accept furlough they'd have to consider redundancies. She knew the company had said I couldn't work elsewhere, snd that I was earning far less then her at the time and that I had significant fears of what was going to happen. She also started to keep sending me conspiracy stuff about the origins of the covid vaccines and when I asked her to please stop she text me a huge, abusive, and name calling rant.

on a night out, a conventionally very good looking friend said to me “you were not put on this earth to be beautiful, you were put on this earth to make people laugh”. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried to see it as a backhanded compliment but she said it in front of our respective partners and it cut me to the quick. To make me feel worse, my partner didn’t challenge her either. Our paths still cross 40 years later and she is still very physically attractive and still knows it.

I was 12. My dad had died (witnessed by me) and I had just started a new school mid term.

my new “friends” told me they didn’t believe my dad had died, they thought he had run off and my mum didn’t want to tell me.

When I was going through infertility struggles after suffering a miscarriage a few years ago I kept in contact with a friend who lived further away in London and would text and speak to her on the phone for a general catch up.

We were in contact throughout on and off and it was nearly always me who initiated the contact. I ended up getting pregnant via ivf and having a baby.

As it was almost always me who made contact with this friend I didn’t feel I had to contact her at a specific interval.

Eventually I did send her a text as it had been a while and the response I got back from her was a lecture about how I was only contacting her now because I finally had a baby and accusing me of avoiding contact with her and another mutual friend of ours because I was jealous. This wasn’t true at all. I had maintained contact with them throughout. It was bizarre.

Looking back I do wonder if she had been revelling in my misery because it made her feel better about herself and wasn’t really the true friend I thought she was. I cut contact with her after she sent me that text. It was so hurtful. And my other friend has been distant from me ever since. It was bad enough going through the pain of infertility and miscarriage but to have friends throw false accusations at me after what I had been through felt like a real slap in the face. I thought she would be happy for me. It was a few years ago ow but still hurts when I think about it today.

There’s the one who, when I was trying so hard to lose weight, got threatened and told me repeatedly “you shouldn’t lose any more, I think that’s enough”; “there’s no point going out for dinner, you don’t eat”

Should add this person was obsessed by her looks, her diet, extremely competitive and bitchy re other people’s lives - I wasn’t useful if not fulfilling the “fat friend” brief.

Looks at picture of my exes new gf and laughs ‘oh of course you can’t compete with her she’s perfect ‘

Same person :’ ugly girls like us …’

Another charmer who I was previously friends with for 10 years ish ‘you’ve got no friends and you are ugly as fuck ‘

I had cancer and after the first operation where I had my neck cut open leaving me with a 3 inch stitched wound my friend said ‘it’s not that bad’
Same friend (her husband is DH best friend and DH stupidly told him
i had received some insurance money)
She found out and told me ‘What an easy way to make money’
Sure, having numerous tests, 2 operations leaving a scar, radiation treatment that involved me being locked in a room coated in lead and plastic for 3 days and then a week living away from my family meaning I couldn’t see my at the time very young children (could only see them through a window or on a webcam (before FaceTime on phones etc was available)
Lifelong medication and health problems Is what everyone should do !
Bitch.

Also mentioning my 5 foot 3 height all the time 🤔

I have had life time anxiety. I grew up in an abusive family, went into care when mum died, became a teen mum to a fabulous kid.

Worked really hard on myself. Got married, had a late baby who is a delight got a degree, work my butt off in a job I have wanted for years.

Recently had a breakdown and took an overdose, currently very unwell. Friend offered no empathy and retorted... Well with your history it was only a matter of time. You have long term mh so it was bound to happen.

Child told her 20 mins later that they scored 95% on a test. Her response.... What about the other 5%. She's going in the bin. I'm so over it now.

Some years back my DH's friend's wife made the pronouncement that all children with special needs should be in special schools. We have a child, now adult, with special needs.

I have never spoken to that truly vile person since.

My dad died and a friend totally avoided me - told me later it was because she was jealous l had been so lucky because l was able to say goodbye.
Oh yeah really fucking lucky losing my dad when l was in my 20's and he had been ill for years - had nothing but misery for the last decade of his life.

The day after my dad died of a heart attack, an old friend said "Sorry to hear that, love, but at least that's a very good way to die."
I replied " Yes, really good to die alone, in great pain, lying on the floor..."

Close friend - so I thought- took me to one side in my early twenties to say that men were visual creatures and that I'd never get a man being the weight I was. I was a size 14-16 and 5 foot 8.

Friend was holding her phone, when it “slipped out of her hand” and in doing so managed to click on DH profile and send a fb message to him referencing his career, how amazing he is, how good looking, and how much she loves him.

Apparently not only meant for someone else, but she didn’t type it, the phone did it all by itself when it fell.

Prior to this she told me she couldn’t stop talking about or looking at my DH on fb when she was out with her own DH and he has asked her to stop. Embarrassing for a 35 Yr old mother of two.

I suppose more funny than arseholey but we aren’t friends now.

'You're fat.'

Well, bugger me, I'd never noticed.

It's always the people that are unhappy with their own weight - as this person was - who comment on mine.

I was having a coffee outside a cafe with a very good friend. A bloke walked by who had (about 2 years previously) sexually assaulted me and said hello.

I became a bit breathless when I realised who he was and told friend what had happened. She told me to calm down as it wasn't a big deal and I was being overly dramatic.

He was a friend of a friend who'd stayed in my study after a night out and I found him in my bed the next morning exploring my privates with his fingers.

I've never gotten over what she said. The friendship was ruined.

"Your salary is very low, you won't save any money in London" (it objectively wasn't and she has no experience living in London)
"He is pretending to be interested in you to get industry related intel (he wasn't, turned out to be the love of my life)
"Ooh I think moving from city x to y is terrible, you should move back" (at that point we had just signed the contract for our dream home and were over the moon - she also has no experience living in either of the cities)
All unsolicited, needless to say neither are my friends any longer 😊