Most areseholy thing a ‘friend’ has said to you

[Dontmissyou]

I will start.

When I was in my mid 20s I was having some relationship worries and was freaking out a bit. In retrospect they were justified 🤣. I wasn’t really one for confiding in my friends but I had a friend over for tea and confided in her.

I arranged to meet her in a week or so and she cancelled on me with an excuse and I thought nothing of it.

At a later date she randomly told me that she has cancelled on me because last time I’d seen her I’d ‘brought her down’ when telling her about my relationship worries. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t say much but think she knew she’s messed up by admitting that by my shocked face.

I stopped telling her anything of substance after that because I realised she was only a fun time friend. The relationship dissolved because amongst other things like her announcing the pregnancies of people I knew extremely vaguely after I’d just had a miscarriage, she said I kept things from her and never told her anything about my life. Erm true 🤣.

Tell me your so called friend arseholery please.

So many...

One that still amuses me: I took my son to his parent evening. A close colleague of mine was there with her son.

Next day at work she said, "your son is so handsome! Such a good looking chap...
... He looks nothing like you"

After 10 years of failing to conceive, plus failed IVF, I got pregnant. On my 3 month scan they said the baby had died. The bottom fell out of my life. Devastated, I phoned my best friend to break the news. Her response "Oh dear. I'm sorry....I've had a bad day too, my hamster has died" 😳 I was too stunned to speak. I just couldn't believe she expected me to sympathise with her over a hamster, when I was carrying my dead baby inside me. I will never forget it as long as I live.

A ‘friend’ once told me ‘if you lost a bit of weight you’d be stunning, just think about in a few years when we meet our dream men and get married, you don’t want to be a fat bride and nobody wants a fat bridesmaid!’

She used to obsess over weight, if any clothes felt tight, panic would ensue and she’d be on a crash diet and gym routine.

I bumped into her at a shopping centre a few months ago and she’s now much bigger than me. Oh the irony!

This one was said to me but not aimed at me IYSWIM but changed my view of this friend.

I was helping a friend organise her DDs birthday party- this was several weeks before and we were just organising party bags, games etc for a party at home. Another friend, who she'd always seemed pretty close to, called in and confided in us that she hadn't been out of the house for months as she was suffering from PND. There was lots of tea and sympathy as you can imagine. About an hour after she left, friend got a text from this person to say that she realised she'd not RSVPd to her child's invitation to the party as she'd not been feeling up to seeing people but now really wanted to come along. She also said that she knew siblings etc were not invited but could she bring her baby as she was only 3 months old and exclusively breast fed. Friend showed me the text and her reply that said 'Sorry, I'm afraid I can't make any exceptions as it would not be fair to everyone else. I've had to tell everyone else who asked that I can't accept any late replies or allow any siblings otherwise I would have no idea of how many to cater for. I'm sure you understand'. Then she told me that actually no one else had replied late etc but she didn't want this person at the party bringing the mood down. The other friend replied to say that she understood but could they meet up another time as it had really helped to speak to her. Friend told me she was going to have to think of another excuse not to see her as she wanted to focus on positivity and this friend wouldn't fit in to that

Some horrendous people I hope I never make anyone feel like these people have made you all feel.

My SIL at my 2 and a half year old funeral said "Cheer up everyone it's a party, you need to stop being the party police" granted she was drunk, but never said sorry or acknowledged it. I'd love to say this was the worst thing that was said to me at this time but it wasn't and there are A LOT of people I don't speak to now. Nice to know in your darkest hour, that people decide to show their true colours or where they just s**ty all along and we ignore it.

A very competitive friend, rather manipulative, after I told her an 'admirer', when he asked me out and I gently said no, said 'I know which way you walk home'...I was a waitress at the time, walked home very late after work, she listened, then just said 'what about his feelings?'. I was appalled. Never trusted her again, and some years later the friendship just couldn't endure.

A “friend” told me when i found out I was pregnant with twins “wow that’s the biggest mistake of your life”’and then then they weren’t identical she told me “well that’s pointless then isn’t it, definitely not even worth having twins if they aren’t identical”
we aren’t friends anymore 🙃

A neighbour friend (with kids similar age to mine) on hearing my DS had got his first Saturday job at a well known retailer, aged 17, “Well good luck to him working there” said very sarcastically. Her eldest never worked until he got his graduate job!

She has also commented about spending over the years, things like “that is very expensive you know” (about some sports gear), then some snide remarks when I retired at 58!

We never mention money, so maybe they see us as quite poor (even though we both did similar professional jobs to her husband!). They do have a bigger house than us, but we bought ours much earlier and stayed put/extended to save money for retirement!

“Your house is surprising nice! I really
don’t know how you do it with absolutely no money.”

work Friend came to my house for the first time and exclaimed “Oh, it’s quite classy - I didn’t expect that”
same friend… “I saw you drive past me last night, you look so pretty through car window, nobody can see how fat you are”
both true, she’s a gem! 🤣

I had a "friend" when I was in my early 20s who started generating rumours about herself being pregnant then denying she was - she was quite attention seeking and dramatic. I'd had an ectopic pregnancy a couple of years before which was really traumatic.

We were out in the pub and she said "Oh, people keep thinking I'm pregnant but I must be having an ectopic pregnancy like you," and laughed like it was some sort of massive joke. I was so shocked I didn't say anything at the time but I stopped talking to her not that long afterwards.

I had my only child when I was 4w (was told I couldn’t get pregnant, had miscarriages etc). Always wanted more but only one - still, lucky and happy. Friend had IVF which didn’t succeed then had 2 children ‘naturally’. Her eldest is 9 months younger than mine, youngest 1 year younger than that. So, my son was kicking off at shops. She was going in shop with her 2. She said ‘what’s wrong with son’. I said ‘he hates this shop, always kicks off’. ‘She literally jabbed back ‘think yourself lucky you don’t have 2’. I would have loved 2. Since then she has often made same type of comment. ‘You’re lucky you can go out to work as you only have one child’ etc etc. TBH I now keep away as it’s upsetting.

although I had a handful of friends I wanted to expand and meet new ladies so signed up to bumble friendship and went on some “friend dates”. When I told my best friend at the time ( who I add had a much bigger social circle than me ) told me it was “embarrassing” and appeared disgusted at the thought that I would do such a thing such as want to put myself out there and expand my own social circle.

same ex friend also would pick apart every other friend/ boyfriend / person in my life to extreme levels. No one was ever worthy. Despite me always being pleasant and would spend time with others in her life she felt repulsed even by anyone in mine.

she was due to be one of my bridesmaids alongside my sister in law. They met up alone to discuss hen do plans and she rejected every suggestion my sister in law made and wanted the whole thing to be what she wanted despite knowing my wishes ( low key, no drama affair) when booking a venue the venue suggested could only accommodate 6 people despite more being invited. Because it was where she wanted to go ( despite it not being her hen do) she told my sister in law that it didn’t matter and that the others could wait outside or go elsewhere!

I look back with horror at the shit I put up with . I learnt the hard way it is better to have no one/ a few friends than be around those who treat you poorly just to say you have friends

My friend and I worked in a restaurant together when we were 17. She had recommended working there when I’d left a job that I was working too many hours at and did poorly in my As levels.

I quickly realised getting paid £4 an hour wasn’t going to work for me and applied for another job. She shouted at me the only reason I’d left was because I didn’t get a boyfriend and I needed to start going out with “people who were more my level”.

For reference at that same time I got compared to Vanessa Hudgens and Cheryl Cole a lot so I wasn’t a complete dog!

Same friend said I had “no need” to go out with tall men (my husband is 6ft 3) as I’m only 5ft 2 and she is 5ft 10 and she needed someone tall whereas I didn’t….

This is a bit off topic but I am the person saying the rubbish things. I don't know what happens but the most tactless, awful stuff comes out of my mouth sometimes without me having any intention of hurting someone's feelings. I am so worried about it now that I try to keep interaction with people to a minimum as I don't want to inadvertently offend anyone. Does anyone else have this issue?

How funny, my mum used to say this to me a lot and I never took it as a negative thing, just a bit of a reality / ego check. My husband was horrified too when I told him. I think it’s stood me in good stead as I’ve got older.

Im sorry that it hurt you though

Where do I begin...
My manipulative, toxic friend of many years until very recently.

When I passed my driving test and I happened to have a car which was newer than hers was so insistent that I went back and traded in my car for a newer one...(It wasn't even a brand new car! And it was a humble Corsa! lol)

Night before my wedding. She came round to announce to my mum, sister and I that she didn't "think the marriage was a good idea." Wtf. I'd never complained or discussed negatively about my then fiancee now husband of almost 10 years. (She meanwhile has 2 failed marriages.)

1 year after my marriage...we hadn't begun trying for babies at that point...she phoned to say why I wasn't pregnant yet and "what was wrong with me."

I could go on...
Worst thing was I never dared to reply to any of the above. Utter shock and second hand embarrassment.

" you should have told me you were skint when I asked you to be my maid of honor as I would have chosen someone else ". Lol. This was after I'd paid a deposit for a spa day for 6 of us ( all her family ) and when asked the others for their share as I was abit low on cash after paying it all it all kicked off.. I got my refund from the company and haven't spoken to her since lol. Arse hole haha .
Also when I was pregnant with my youngest i had another old friend kept not wanting to meet up. When I eventually asked what was wrong she said " well you don't drink or smoke anymore so ..." WOW LOL

One friend told me I should've stayed with my (abusive) ex and not married my now husband (who is absolutely lovely) as my ex was 'better looking'

Another, when I'd just found out it was unlikely I'd ever have children, told me it was 'a shame' that I'd never be able to achieve anything' in my life.

When I moved into a new house, I invited friends over for drinks and nibbles. As I was at the loo I overheard one telling another that my house was 'nothing special'. That one seems minor but it really annoyed me as was totally unnecessary and she came, drank the wine id paid for, ate the food I'd paid for, aid that, then left.

I can't get over how awful some of these friends are :(

Mine isn't really that bad but it hurt me a lot as I was in a very vulnerable place mentally.
After a miscarriage followed by three years of infertility, I went to visit friend. Asked me how ttc was and I mentioned how long it's been, clearly quite upset about it.
She then proceeds to tell me everyone she knows who has recently had a baby or has easily fallen pregnant (herself included). I left feeling absolutely rubbish.

'What have you been feeding him?!' referring to my husband's weight.

I had a rough patch financially, husband out of work etc. I was seriously low and worried about it, talked to my friend about it etc. At the same time my friend came into a significant sum of money, and would tell me all of her elaborate plans in the same conversations where I was saying how worried I was. She booked an expensive trip and called me to tell me about it and finished by saying “it’s so funny how I always thought you would end up well off and you haven’t” I don’t know if she was just insensitive or actually felt her good fortune made her superior. Either way we aren’t friends anymore!

Was texting my so called best friend saying about how my family had been going through a really rubbish time (found FIL dead) and she replied with.... yeah a few people at work have had a bad start to the year too.

Ohhh I have 2 that stand out.

Was telling my friend that my child had officially been diagnosed with autism, she said "well duh I coulda told you that".

A different friend about my child, who is having heart surgery and I was very anxious. She said "its only heart surgery no big deal".

A “friend” had organised a surprise birthday for my 30th and it was lovely. The next day we were talking about it and I thanked her for the cake, she said “well we thought we’d get you a 3 tiered cake because you’re not going to get married” I has just split up from my long term boyfriend and it was like a punch in the stomach. I didn’t even respond. Turns out the party was more of a pity party.

Her true colours really came out when I got married 3 years later and she was still with her longterm boyfriend.

we are no longer friends.