Most areseholy thing a ‘friend’ has said to you

[Dontmissyou]

I will start.

When I was in my mid 20s I was having some relationship worries and was freaking out a bit. In retrospect they were justified 🤣. I wasn’t really one for confiding in my friends but I had a friend over for tea and confided in her.

I arranged to meet her in a week or so and she cancelled on me with an excuse and I thought nothing of it.

At a later date she randomly told me that she has cancelled on me because last time I’d seen her I’d ‘brought her down’ when telling her about my relationship worries. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t say much but think she knew she’s messed up by admitting that by my shocked face.

I stopped telling her anything of substance after that because I realised she was only a fun time friend. The relationship dissolved because amongst other things like her announcing the pregnancies of people I knew extremely vaguely after I’d just had a miscarriage, she said I kept things from her and never told her anything about my life. Erm true 🤣.

Tell me your so called friend arseholery please.

I mention I have Jewish ancestry.

"Oh yes, your nose..."

Same woman. My sister is at my hen do, 8.5 months gone. Other woman is 5m with her second.

"Was I ever that big?"

I largely avoid her, now, except one of my best friend's is close with her still, and expects us to always want to do group meet ups (unfortunately they both live in the same city). The fourth member of the group is my husband's ex, and I actually love spending time with her, she's great.

I got pregnant shortly after starting a new job. I confided in a friend that I was worried that the company would discriminate against me. She just barked at me: "Wasn't it planned that way?"

An immediate relative was murdered a long time ago. She was 15. It was in all the papers and so on. My (not too close) friend called me. She was laughing, she said "was that you?, I think I just saw you in the paper. (Still laughing) I can't believe that was you, on the front page, that was the last thing I was expecting this morning, so anyway, just checking, God, wait till tell so and so, bye " I was so upset. I still today can't believe she could not think about how I would be feeling. It was just a big laugh that I was in the paper

Disgusting. There are a lot about pregnancy loss here (and I’ve experienced it too.) A friend once told me “everything happens for a reason.” 🤔 People are absolutely clueless. I am sorry for your loss. 🧡

How awful 😞

Spent the night snogging a boy I had a ‘got off’ with him the previous week after lusting after him for months and months , because she wanted me to know that if we did get together he’d probably be unfaithful to me.

Cheers mate 🙄

My friend texted me when my mum was very sick with only a few days to live, incontinent bed ridden not able to move. She said I should bear in mind I still had a mum and she didnt.

Jesus wept !! I’m so sorry - I can only imagine the shit he must’ve put you through.

I can't really think of any... it's more 'actions' than 'words' that has caused every major friendship break up I have had.

A slightly funny one, I had a 'friend' (well she was a friend of my friend but we got on well at first). Who suddenly started declaring me a liar to everyone she spoke too (even in front of me she would argue with facts).

She was saying I 'faked my whole pregnancy for attention', despite the fact she had even MET my DS though.

Like to what end would I 'fake' it and where on earth did she think I actually got the baby from? I didn't find him in a bloody cabbage patch lol. I think maybe its because she started heavily slagging me off (saying it was 'fake') when I was pregnant and then just kept doubling down for some reason long past the point of it obviously not being fake. It was illogical and really bizarre.

I found it more funny than hurtful though, she made herself look utterly bat shit.

I was pregnant with twins and gave birth to my little girl. Unfortunately my little boy didn't make it and i had to be rushed to theatre as I was haemorrhaging badly. I was very upset as you can imagine, not only because my little boy hadn't made it but both myself and my daughter had nearly died in childbirth too. The very 'lovely' nurse shouted at me and said I don't know why you're crying least your still taking one baby home, alot of women don't have any babies to take home. You should count yourself very very lucky.

I was extremely close to one of my SIL’s, we were really more like sisters, we told each other everything. I thought the feeling was mutual from her end too.

She knew me and my husband were trying for a baby, were struggling to fall pregnant and were told we would need to go for IVF.
She announced she was pregnant, I was honestly so happy for her then she turned round and said to me “I’m obviously very very fertile and God is saying I’m just meant to have children, people who need assistance to fall pregnant are obviously not meant to have children because they would be shit mothers” 😳
Took me a long time afterwards but she is now eventually out of my life, and it wasn’t until she was out of my life that I realised she was actually a very toxic jealous person 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Another SIL, called me saying she had a wedding to go to, was short of cash and asked if I could lend her a dress she could wear……..I was like “erm what size are you”. She replied “oh im the same size as you, a size 16”………I was a size 10 🤦🏻‍♀️

A best friend of mine whom I’d known since we were like 2-3 years old. Our mums were best friends and we saw each other and holidayed holiday together a lot as kids. She always thought she was prettier than me but never said it. I changed secondary schools to hers in the first year of it and she was nice enough but didn’t really bother with me even when I had to change classes to be in hers. One backhanded compliment “oh I suppose you have nice eyebrows”. Then when I socialised with her and her clique of friends I always felt on the outside so made another best friend. Cue first friend complaining and saying to me “why are you friends with her? Why don’t you want to hang out with us?’

Thank god she went to uni and moved away, she then took offence at something jokey and harmless I’d put in a letter, turns out she was very depressed and eventually had to be hospitalised but I had no idea and her mum who has close friends with my mum never mentioned this.

This friend then moved near to where I live and go a lot and thank god we never bump into each other. Our mums have bumped into each other but not close at all now.

I was on mat leave following the birth of DC2. I’d heard rumours of a restructure and colleagues being given at risk letters but I hadn’t heard from my employer and I was worried about whether I’d have a job to return to and how we’d manage on one salary if we had to and that together with the lingering baby weight I was feeling really low. Spoke to a (former) friend about it who told me she’d been feeling down too, but when she told her DH, he gave her £1000 and told her to go out and totally spoil herself, buy whatever she wanted and how that had helped her.
Er, great idea bbz! 🙄

A little over 8 years ago, my amazing husband was diagnosed with a terminal condition. A long standing couple friends of ours, (I’ll call them P and M) with whom we had spent numerous holidays/weekends etc., over 25 years, didn’t come to see him at all, and didn’t enquire about the funeral arrangements when I gave them the sad news.

About 9 months after my husband died, I decided to invite them for a few days, thinking it was a shame to let the friendship go. I took them out for lunch, and to a stately home, and I sat through a football match on the TV for M’s enjoyment. They didn’t stay very long, telling me how hard it was for M without my husband there. I was a bit shocked at this insensitivity, and assumed an apology would be forthcoming once they realised. But no, it was repeated as they left, and once more in an email to supposedly thank me for their stay.

I never responded to the email, haven’t seen them since (nor would I wish to), and often wondered whether they had reflected on their callous comments.

God that’s terrible, I’m so sorry. That really takes selfishness to a whole new low

yes, it sounds like jealousy.

I could tell that same story - “friends” with absolutely no idea about ADHD and blame my parenting. Our friendship has cooled as I don’t need to be judged by someone who has a very easy life.

Wtaf!???

I think its hard for people to judge other peoples size.

I was 7st at 5ft7 and exceptionally skinny (very 90s heroin chic but natural) I however have never been smaller than a size 12 around the bony areas because of my physical bone structure size (wide hips, wide shoulders, rib cage although I had no boobs so that evened out a bit). I have much shorter and much curvier friends who can get into size 8 no problem (we use to try and switch clothes a lot, jeans are worst, you can't shrink pelvic bones).

To look at us people would assume I was the smaller sized because of my 'skinny' appearence but I'm not actually smaller in dress size.

My mum died of covid in the 1st wek of lockdown 1. A few months later my dad was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer for which there was no treatment. When I told my "friend" that my dad was having end-of-life care her response was " well at least it's not covid this time". I haven't spoken to the heartless cow since.

My first DD would not sleep unless held and was generally a very bad sleeper. It was difficult. She needed to be induced at 37 weeks and had jaundice and the heat lamp treatment seemed to really distress her. Needless to say it was a difficult time.

My best friend recently had her first and she is a great sleeper. I said oh I’m so happy for you she’s sleeping so well! She said and I quote ‘Yes, it’s because me and DH and so calm and chilled’. I nearly slapped her! I’d be bloody calm if I could get a full nights sleep!

@Showdogworkingdog

Thank you so much 💞

I know I have worse ones but I've blocked them out, but one that happened was I was discussing safety while jogging following the Nicola Bulley case and I said that I'd had incidents while out running too, she said "Yes it can happen to anyone, not just good looking people".

The same friend once said when I was talking about someone I'd met online "but has he seen you?". 😕

The thing is, she has been a good friend to me at certain points but she's never been able to hide that she had a low opinion of how I look, it's always just seeped through her comments over the years. She's very judgemental and critical about looks and appearances in general. In the end I'm not talking to her at the moment and I do feel better without her negativity, even if she was a fun person in other ways and she didn't mean to let me know what she thought. Very critical people can be very difficult to be friends with.

I went through a really tough time with my mental health whilst in sixth form. I had bad anxiety and depression and was really struggling to attend each day, let alone put much effort into friendships etc.

It was a new sixth form (separate from my high school) that I’d moved up to with several of my friends. My best friend, who knew what I was going through and was a real rock to me, was ‘pillar’ of the friendship group and always the one keeping everyone together, arranging things etc. I didn’t make it to many of the house parties etc as I was feeling so low, but when he was throwing a New Year’s Eve party I forced myself to attend even though it was incredibly anxiety inducing and I just wanted to be in my bed.

I got there, I made a real effort to chat and mingle but clearly not a good enough effort, as a girl in the group pulled me aside to tell me that I wasn’t making enough effort to be friends with them, it was like I “wasn’t even present a lot of the time” and that if I wanted to be included I needed to snap out of it and make more of an effort.

I didn’t know what to say at the time but left shortly after that, and dropped out of sixth form entirely for mental health reasons a couple of weeks later. It still baffles me that she said that, especially as the group of friends were my friends that I had known for years, and she’d only known them since the September (so 4 months). It was so clear (and no secret) how much I was struggling.

Looking back retrospectively I think that she was jealous of the fact that the friendship group pillar was my best friend, and that he gave me so much grace even though it seemed like I didn’t contribute much to the group. She didn’t know at the time that he was gay as he wasn’t out of the closet, so I think potentially she had a romantic interest in him too. It still sticks with me now and I wonder if she cringes when she looks back on the convo, but I suspect she probably doesn’t even remember.

I bet your lovely looking @madeinmanc!