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The next person who tells me we all need to move on...

396 replies

Youknowaboutthepaint · 20/06/2023 07:31

Is likely to get both barrels.

So many people still seem convinced that "the other lot" would be even worse, even though they can't begin to tell me why.

That Christmas, while our esteemed leaders were partying was DH's last. He spent it at home, in pain, without access to the medical care he needed and without seeing anyone except those he lived with.

A few days later he went into to hospital where he stayed for 3 months, without a single visitor. During that time he was told, alone, by telephone because his consultant was shielding, that his cancer was terminal, stil he wasn't allowed any visitors. He never met his oncologist and I had to fight every day to find anyone who would talk to me about his prognosis/ treatment/pain control/return home.

He came home eventually once they'd managed to get his pain under some sort of control, to die, a shadow of the man his DC had last seen, still officially not allowed any visitors. (Although by that point anyone who wanted to visited, I classified as a carer).

Then we had to restrict numbers at his funeral.

All the while those making the decisions that had affected us so badly were having the time of their life. Most are still in power/working in governement, making the laws that affect us all, dishing out or receiving honours, spending our money. And they've lied about it continuously since.

I'm still trying to support severely traumatised children whose lives were badly affected by lockdowns, even if they hadn't had to deal with all the stuff with their dad.

I'm generally a fairly easy going, resilient sort, but I dare anyone to tell me it's time we got over it.

OP posts:
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Whataretheodds · 20/06/2023 07:32

YANBU. Horrendous moral collapse.

BlinkeredBay · 20/06/2023 07:36

I hear you and I’m so sorry and your feelings are totally justified.

Our government were a disgrace, it should not be swept under the carpet. When the shot hit the fan they broke their own rules and saw fit to revel in joy at that.

Whilst others suffered, all to varying degrees and yours one of the most.

They should be made to face questions from people like you directly.

i”m sorry for your loss f 💐

Stickmansmum · 20/06/2023 07:37

You have every right to be fucking furious.

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 20/06/2023 07:39

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have every right to be angry. Its a disgrace that they've gotten away with this for so long.

katmarie · 20/06/2023 07:40

I can't imagine your pain. I am so so sorry for your loss, and in such awful curcumstances too. You have every right to be raging, I am furious, and I think I would be incandescent if I had been through what your family went through. My own MP posted a blog post last night saying its time to move on. And didn't show up to the debate as far as I can tell. Utterly shameful.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/06/2023 07:40

Fully appreciate I didn’t suffer as a result of lock downs- and I’m so sorry for all you have gone through.
I will just say that for many of us who say “move on”, to me, it’s because this is a distraction of what is happening now, and the utter mess we are in: prices, mortgages, strikes. Everyone knows the tories in office are scum and need to be removed. Anyone who doesn’t know this won’t see the light because of a several year, millions of pounds review and a video

Behindthelines · 20/06/2023 07:41

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ThreeRingCircus · 20/06/2023 07:43

I am so sorry and I totally get it. We lost two family members during lockdowns. FIL died alone in intensive care, only one visitor allowed per day so DH missed out on seeing his dad for the last time.

My grandfather also died of cancer during lockdown. He was my last remaining grandparent and the one I was closest to. I couldn't attend his funeral and I still don't think I've got closure from it as I feel I was robbed of the chance to say goodbye and the opportunity of seeing him in his final months.

I hear you.

cantcopenow · 20/06/2023 07:43

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Nice.

When people say "move on" they generally mean "don't talk about that because it's upsetting/boring me". Trauma needs care and support, not "get over it".

nobodysdaughternow · 20/06/2023 07:43

I am so sorry, that was a brutal way to die, for him and for you and your dc.

You have a right to be angry and no, you don't need to 'move on'.

I am angry for you. I hope there is some kind of justice delivered in these enquiries.

Blarn · 20/06/2023 07:43

I'm so sorry, and I agree. Hearing people say "the British public don't care about theparties" etc is such nonsense. I think many in the Government have severely underestimated how angry people are because a lot of the population had awful experiences similar to yours. And even those that didn't were miserable, lonely, struggling. The sense of entitlement of those people makes me angry.

cuckyplunt · 20/06/2023 07:44

Every single person on those party videos should be sacked for a start!

BlastedPimples · 20/06/2023 07:44

"We need to move on" would never be said by those if it were about Keir Starmer.

How dare they tell you that you need to move on!

heartsinvisiblefury · 20/06/2023 07:45

Someone said this to me at the weekend, actually said to me oh we were all doing it, what does it matter.

Changed my whole opinion of that person and I won't be spending anymore time with someone who thinks like that.

LittleBearPad · 20/06/2023 07:46

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I think the OP has a better idea of what her children need than you.

YANBU OP.

BlinkeredBay · 20/06/2023 07:47

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What an awful comment, shame on you.

How do you expect the “move on” to happen then?

FunkyMonks · 20/06/2023 07:49

So sorry OP for your loss and I agree with you what you and your family have experienced and had to go through isn't something you can just forget about and move on I would be angry and upset too.

Dorrmouse · 20/06/2023 07:49

Well it is time to move on. I don't think for one minute that Labour won't make mistakes when they're finally in power. But the track record of these inhuman and inhumane monsters is beyond the Pale and has been for so long. Tory voters, what the feck do your beloved sociopaths have to DO to make you see what they are and the damage they've done?

Dorrmouse · 20/06/2023 07:51

Just to clarify, I mean move on to a different government. If the Tories were never in power again it would be too soon.

Youknowaboutthepaint · 20/06/2023 07:53

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Jesus wept. Their dad died less than 2 years ago after a traumatic illness where they didn't see him for months then had to care for him and watch him die with very little support. Even in normal circumstances there's still stuff to deal with.

Besides which, you've no idea what our daily life looks like. We largely have moved on, it's the political aspect and the way politicians are still carrying and the way people want to insist that they shouldn't be held to account that makes me furious.

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 20/06/2023 07:53

YANBU, when they were partying my darling SIL was at home in pain, couldn’t see a Dr, couldn’t get appointments for months, was brushed off etc because of ‘Covid’. We buried her 3 weeks ago, stomach cancer. I accept my views may be somewhat skewed but it’s so very painful that she was robbed of probably 25 years of life.

MagicBullet · 20/06/2023 07:54

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The lack of empathy from some posters is staggering.

Neither the OP nor the dcs will ever ‘move on’ from what has happened. They lost their DH/dad in awful circumstances fgs!!!

They might learn to deal with the grief. They might manage to deal with the trauma of it all. They’ll never manage to ‘move on’ and forget this ever happened.

LittleBumblebee3 · 20/06/2023 07:54

@Behindthelines - what a shifty comment. I’m sure @Youknowaboutthepaint knows her children far better than you do.

YANBU OP. I’m sorry for what you and your family have gone through. You have every right to be furious. I had a tough pregnancy & birth experience alone during lockdowns that still really affects me daily and the advice to “move on” really bothers me too. And I was one of the lucky ones who actually left with a healthy baby.

Behindthelines · 20/06/2023 07:54

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Peacepudding · 20/06/2023 07:55

I'm so sorry about your DH. I would be fucking furious, I can't even imagine.